Surveying the damage from my weight loss failure

Losing weight is so very difficult!   How can it be so darn hard?   In theory it sounds so easy, use more calories than you eat!   But this weight loss journey is nowhere near that simple!   In the last few weeks I have struggled.  I have struggled big time and now it’s time to survey the damage.

Weight loss struggle

Over the last few weeks I have been struggling.   My weight loss journey has not been easy.  I have moments of pure success for sure.  But those moments are evened out with weight loss catastrophe! And then August happened.    It started with Jason’s birthday cake that I baked.   Of course I had a piece.  And I had a second piece the next night. And then we went away for the weekend and I splurged with a Cinnabon, a donut and finally cookies.   We ate fast food and while I would have been happy with the sandwich, of course this food addict couldn’t resist the fries also.  We came home from the weekend and it would have all been ok if I had simply tightened the reins.  But no, I had opened the door wide and I couldn’t get it shut...the food frenzy continued.

Voice in my head

Losing control of my eating like that allowed the voices in my head, that negative reasoning that I am so adept at doing, to regain control.  I call it my fat mini me.   That is the ‘voice’ of reason (insanity) that talks me out of making the healthy choice.   On more than one occasion I stood on the precipice of weight loss disaster and asked myself if I wanted to really eat that?  Was it worth it?  Did I want to eat and be fat or not eat and be thin?    And that darn mini me voice/reasoning was so loud that I chose the path to disaster!

Control over my food addiction 

This past week I started to regain some semblance of control over my food addiction.  It has been a difficult battle, but one I am determined to win.  I started to track my food.  It wasn’t easy!  The first day was horrible.  I resisted eating anything that I had pre-tracked.  But each day got better.  It wasn’t a banner week, but it was a week of moving in the right direction.  I’m once again making better choices and putting my health first when I make those choices.

The numbers on the scales

I weigh myself every day.  So I saw the scales steadily climb this past week.  It got terrifyingly bad.  I tried to stay calm.  There was no way that I ate that many calories to warrant a 6 pound gain.  I tried to focus on drinking enough water along with my healthy eating.  

And today, my weigh in day....I weigh...245.4.   That is  a three pound gain from last week.   I’m not happy.  But I can only blame myself!

It would be so easy to give up. And that is why so few people succeed in a weight loss journey.  Losing weight is going to have ups and downs....highs and lows.  However, success is not given to only those that never struggle.  Quite the opposite, riding out the bad times is the key to successful weight loss.

What is wrong with me?

What is wrong with me???  I literally can't seem to stop eating!  I tell myself that I'm going to get it under control.  No more.......Yet when it comes time to eat I just eat with abandon! There is a war waging in my head and the fat side is winning!

Yesterday I literally stood in the kitchen putting some chips in a bowl and I literally told myself "Maryfran, you shouldn't eat these...you want to be thin"   and I then immediately said "I don't care" and I ate the chips in the bowl. I sometimes say "tomorrow"  or "my next meal I'll be good".  But yesterday I just didn't care......but I cared about the numbers on the scale and how bloated I feel!

Hey, at least I am putting them in the bowl versus eating the straight out of the bag because we all know that if I did that....the bag would be gone in one sitting! 

I am miserable and feel bloated and icky.  I want to be thin and feel good about myself.  Yet I want to eat what I want and when I want.   I know I can't have it both ways!  Yet I sit on the fence and often fall onto the fat side of the fence!  

This is so difficult and I so wish there was an easy answer!!!!!

I seriously must be insane!

Broccoli Salad

A cool refreshing salad for the summer months

Broccoli Salad

In a large bowl combine:

6 cups fresh broccoli florets

1 can (8oz) sliced water chesnuts, drained

½ cup dried cranberries

¼ cup chopped red onion

 

In a small bowl whisk together

¾ cup mayo

¾ cup yogurt

1 ½ tsp cider vinegar

1 ½ tsp sugar

1 ½ tsp Dijon mustard

¼ tsp salt

1/8 tsp pepper

Pour dressing/liquid over broccoli and toss to coat.

 

Just before serving sprinkle with ¼ cup slivered almonds (optional)

 

Serving Size ½ cup

Per serving (without the almonds)

Cal 51.8

Fat 0.5

Sat Fat 0.2

Poly Fat 0.1

Mono fat 0.1

Chol 0.9

Dietary Fiber 1.8

Sugars 5.6

Protein 2.6

 

Alternate versions:
Use raisins instead of cranberries

Different dressing

 1 cup miracle whip

1 tbs vinegar

1/3 cup sugar

Click here for a printable copy of this Broccoli Salad Recipe.

Hiking on the Appalachian Trail: And it was uneventful!

 Hiking is great exercise and I am totally blessed to have the Appalachian Trail meander through our area.   We have plenty of additional parks and trails to keep us hiking and moving!   This past weekend was no different.  

After our last experience on the Appalachian trail where we hiked a further and longer than we had planned, resulting in a case of heat exhaustion, I am happy to announce that our most recent hike on the Appalachian Trail was uneventful!

We decided to hike North from Keys Gap, which is North of Harpers Ferry.  I really want to hike Maryland Heights again (and for the first time ever with Jason) but the Harpers Ferry area is SO darn busy and it is difficult to find parking.  Sooo, we settled on the AT again.

This trail was awesome.  We parked and for the most part, the 3-4 miles that we walked on this trail was flat with very minimal grades!   YAY!  My favorite!    There were some rocks....ok, a LOT of rocks!  It was a very rocky path!  But it was a great hike!  We saw some pretty incredible aspects of nature!  

We saw some deer...and even this youngster....

And we saw this neat looking caterpillar.......

And not exactly nature, but this dolls head was laying in the woods!  (Jason put it on the log)

Of course we saw pretty flowers of all sorts of colors.

And mushrooms.....

Lots of mushrooms.......we left the psychedelic ones where we saw them!

Nature truly is amazing!  It was a good hike!  We covered about 7 miles.  

So how did my new hiking boots that I talked about recently work out on the trail?  I went with ultra light boots. They feel amazing on my feet!  But the trail was too rocky.  My ankles are too week and my feet are too messed up.  I need a heavier boot for rough terrain.   So back to the drawing board for the rough rocky trails!   I will still be using these new Asolo ultra light boots for easy trails.....ones without tons of rocks, so it is not a waste!!!!

Hiking with your best friend is the best thing in the world......I can't wait to go again!

Shame from my Obesity

 It is no secret that I am overweight, obese really.  I can't hide it.  All it takes is one glance and it is clear that I have a weight issue.   Luckily for me, I have managed to ride this storm of obesity without too many emotional issues and hang ups.  But I have one big one.   I get embarrassed to be buying things for a healthy life.  Yeah, isn't that crazy!

Years upon years ago when I bought my first bike as an adult, I was kind of embarrassed to go buy a bike and spend a lot of money.  I was probably almost 300 pounds at that point.  All I could think about was what were the salesmen thinking about this fat girl buying a bike.  I was sure they were thinking it!  But I screwed up my courage and I did it anyway!  I went and bought my bike. (This was in 2001 and I bought a Trek Navigator).   Yes, it took courage and no...I have NEVER regretted my decision.  

You would think that I would have learned my lesson to gather my courage right?  But no.....I still struggle with it.   A few years back I went to replace a pair of hiking boots. I replaced them with the exact same make and model of boot.   This should have been an easy purchase.   But it wasn't.  I went to the shoe section and asked for the shoe that I was interested in.  The sales person brought me the shoe I requested and then proceeded to do the shoe sales man game.  They had me try on a shoe a size smaller.  Why, I still don't know!  And then they insisted that they knew what they were doing and the smaller size was what I needed.   I was a fat girl in a healthy fit persons store and I felt out of place and shy.  All of those feelings of being 'a fish out of water' flowed over me.  I didn't stand up for myself and I bought those 'size smaller' shoes.   

I didn't notice too much of an issue with the new shoes at first.   Mainly because life happened and we didn't hike much.   When we did hike it was just little short hikes.  It wasn't until we started to hike regularly this year that I realized that there was a huge problem.  (And yes, it is to my shame that it took me years to really reach this decision).    I knew that my shoes were not comfortable and that the longer I hiked they more my feet bothered me.   But it wasn't until we hiked for over 5 hours that I knew something had to change IMMEDIATLY!   After the 5 hour hike, my feet were so sore.  In particular, my toes.  They hurt so badly each time we went downhill (because they bumped the front of my boot) and for days upon days afterward they hurt anytime something touched the toenails.......the sheets covering my feet in bed hurt!   I had to do something.  

I did buy a new pair of boots on Friday.  I like them.  They are comfortable.   THey will be great for certain types of hiking. (But I will still need a heavier pair of boots for more rough terrain).  

I could have saved myself so much trouble had I just stood up for myself and gotten over the shame and embarrassment when I bought those last boots.  I would have certainly purchased the correct size boot. (I would assume).  I wouldn't have let a salesperson talk me into something that I kind of suspected was wrong.   I allowed myself to be shadowed and it backfired.   That is my lesson....no shame!  I am out there doing it.  It doesn't matter what a sales person thinks.  It doesn't matter that they THINK they know more than I in every situation.  They do not.  Their advise is awesome....but it's NOT the end all be all answer!  Trust yourself!  

A little Heat Exhaustion

 It was a hot one....so very hot!  We were not going to let that deter us though!  So we headed out to the Appalachian Trail.  We just picked a spot.  We didn't know what we would see, if anything.  We were ok with that! We just wanted to be outside and enjoying nature!   We headed Southbound on the AT and we were loving the trail.  

The trail was mostly shaded and it was gently rolling.  There were no major grades and we knew that the hike was going to be awesome.  We were just moving along at a nice clip!   A few miles into the hike we hit it.  We hit the rocks.  We hit the incline.  We hit the yucky part!   Ok, not yucky but rather the hard part! The hill  didn't stop. 

 I had a mileage goal in my head.  I was determined to reach that mileage goal.  So I kept climbing!   My trekking poles continued to do a fabulous job and I trucked on up that hill.   We made it to  my mileage goal and I was so happy and proud of myself. I could feel the first tingling of tiredness and knew that I could get back to the car but would be tired.  It was a great place to turn around!

"But what if we are only 10 feet from an overlook,"  Jason asked?   Well, that is a good question.  We were climbing. Surely we were going to climb to an overlook right?  But how much further was it?  Jason started to walk ahead to see if there was anything in site around the corner.  I reluctantly followed.  We hiked a bit further unsure and then we got lucky!   A hiker was coming down the hill and we asked him!   The answer was a mixed bag.  There was an overlook.  YAY!  But this said overlook  was about a mile further!  BOOO!   Jason left the decision up to me.  I'm either brave or a sucker for that man  since I knew he really wanted to see the overlook!  (probably a bit of both!)  I decided to hike onward toward the overlook!

I did make it and I enjoyed the view.  But then it was time to turn around and head back.  Luckily it was downhill....but it was still a hike!   About a mile into the return trip, I started to feel it.  What is it?  I was started to feel the early signs of heat exhaustion.  We immediately stopped and I allowed myself to cool down and I drank water.  We started hiking again.  It was a long walk back!   I had to stop and sit about 3 times on the way back. (It could have been worse!)  As if that wasn't enough fun?  About a mile from the car we ran out of water.  We had not planned on hiking as long as we did...ooops!  Luckily we had waters in the car which we guzzled as soon as we got back!     

And yes, we made it safe and sound.  My last 'sit down' was literally in sight of the parking lot (although I couldn't see our car or any cars from there...just a wee corner of the parking lot).   I had progressed past just the first stages of heat exhaustion and I was so sick to my stomach.  I thought I was going to hurl!  Luckily for me, I didn't!  After I cooled down a bit (no water so I couldn't drink also) we headed for the car where we did have water!  That water tasted so good!  

I am actually super proud of our longer than planned hike.  It was tough...especially with the heat exhaustion.  My legs were super tight and achy the next day.  My planters fasciitis was kicking after we were done.  But I did it!   GO ME!

Monthly Weight Loss goals

 OK, ok ok ....so I'm a bit late in sharing my monthly weight loss goals and how I did in July!  Better late than never right?  I have some basic goals that I strive to keep each month.  They rarely change but do sometimes get tweaked a bit to fit my life as it is at that exact moment.  I try to keep my goals flexible so that it allows me to 'fail' but still succeed.  You can read more about my goals and how I came to this set of goals here.   For right now, lets see how I did in the month of July!

July Goals

1.  Track every bite of food!  DONE!  I managed this one easily.  Half of the time I actually tracked my food before I even ate it!  Huge victory!
2.  Put money into my savings.  I sure did!  It was an expensive month as I had a few big purchases...but money was put aside!
3.  Weigh less than I do now!  YAY!!! I managed this!  I lost weight in the month of July!  SOOO happy!  It was the first time in a few months that I lost in the month!  LONG overdue!

5. Keep my eating in check for at least 6 days a week.   I actually didn't have any problem with this.  My eating was in line and I was never crazy over  (from the day that I got serious about this journey again...which was right about July 6).

7.   Walk and average of 5000 steps  per day. (total monthly steps divided by the days in the month....bike ride days on the trail are exempt from the 5K step goal, simply because it shard to get  steps when you are riding)     I somehow managed to make this goal!   We walked after work each night, but that only got me to roughly 4800 steps for my weekdays.  LUCKILY we hiked most weekends so that pushed my step count way high and that made up for the lower weekdays.  I really need to focus on getting my daily steps up!

8.  Transparency with my weight...even if it goes up!!  Definitely!  I shared and have been open and honest!!!

My goals will be remaining the same for the month of August. I am going to work hard to not squeak my steps in by the skin of my teeth though!!!!!

Weigh in

This last week  was a mix of good and bad in terms of weight loss!  I didn’t do horribly but I wasn’t spot on target.   This held true for my eating and exercise.  And admittedly, I was at one point quite nervous about my Friday weigh in!!!

Exercise for weight loss

My exercise was mostly derived from a hike that Jason and I took on the Appalachian trail.  As I mention in the post that I linked, it was a hot hike but it was full of climbing and exercise. It was a good way to start out my weight loss week. I was on track!

Through out the week we were pretty religious about taking our evening walks after work.  We enjoy them because it gives us a chance to talk without the distractions of life (making dinner, straightening the house, tv, phones, etc) but it also affords me a bit of activity.  Working from home has severely limited my activity levels (step count).

One of my monthly goals....(oh heavens , I just realized that I haven’t written a post yet with an update on my monthly goals for last month and this month and it is already the tenth of the month...shucks I better get on that!!).  But one of my Monthly goals is to walk 5k steps a day.  Yes I know that 5k steps is very low!  But I’m struggling to make that!  Even with our walks, I am barely (hahah never) reaching my daily goal on the week days.   I usually make it to 4700 or so.   Just shy!    Luckily, my goal is actually an average of 5k steps.   So long walks and hikes on the weekend help pick up the slack.  BUT....I could be doing better!!!

Eating for Weight Loss

This week was a mix of good and bad.   At the beginning of the week I was not doing well at all!   I was filled with some stress. (Nothing too major, just job worries and worry about what to do with our vacation that is booked at the beach...is it safe to go or should we change our plans?).  Stress causes me to want to run to the kitchen and shovel food in as fast as I can!   And I did that.   At one point I even asked myself the question, ‘do you want to eat this and be fat or do you want to not eat this and be thin?’  At one point I actually said I don’t care if I’m fat...I want to eat this food to feel better!  (Yes that is an addict speaking for sure!)

Midway through the week two things happened.  Number one I saw the number on the scales go really high...like three pounds higher!   And number two, I saw a video  of myself while I was editing the footage of our hike for my YouTube channel.  I didn’t like the huge pudgy stomach that I saw!   Those two things sparked me to get back on track!

Now let me say that I wasn’t way off track.  I wasn’t eating cakes and pies and cookies!  I wasn’t eating ice cream!  I didn’t have anything like that!  But I WAS eating over my food budget that I have set for myself.  I count calories and I KNOW that I have to eat 1200-1300 calories to show a loss.  1500-1700 calories SHOULD be enough for a loss, but not with my body. 1500-1600 calories is maintain and even gain territory for me.  I admit, it makes me sad, but it is what it is.  So for the first part of the week I was eating 1600-1700 calories.  Not good...for me!  

I turned it around and cleaned up my eating on about Tuesday!  But would it be enough to erase the negative affects that my apathy had created on the scales?

Weigh In Time

As I said earlier about mid way through my week I was up about 2-3 pounds!   On Thursday I was starting to feel hopeful that maybe I could pull out a maintain! And on Friday I got the official results.

Drum roll please......

I showed a loss of 0.6 pounds!   Not a huge loss...but a loss!!!.  And it only recouped my 0.6 pound gain from the week before, but I’ll gladly take it!!!!!!!

I am proud of myself for cleaning up my act and turning the ship around.  I could have had a really bad weigh in!  I could have given up!  I could have allowed so many excuses to derail me from losing weight.  Instead, I changed my behavior and I changed the outcome of my weekly weigh in!   It just proves that this journey is still possible for me!!’

More Hiking on the Appalachian Trail

The weather was hot again this past weekend!  We however, did not let that stop us!  We went out hiking.  We knew it was going to be hot, so we made a decision to not go long or hard.  We wanted to get out just enough to stretch our legs and get a bit of exercise and to enjoy nature a bit!

We decided to go to Gathland State park.  We had gone hiking here in January and  walked one way on the Appalachian trail and it was so cold!  We were mostly ok while we hiked that day, but it was cold!   It was time for a return visit, in nicer weather.  Well, nicer if you consider hot and humid nice!  What is it about Gathland that invokes us to visit during miserable weather?

This time we opted to hike in the other direction on the AT trail.  We started on the blue side trail that led us to the Crampton Gap Shelter for AT hikers and then from there we went upward to the Appalachian trail.  

We left the shelter and headed the rest of the way up the hill to the Appalachian trail.   Without thinking, we headed left.  For a bit it was great because we were walking on a relatively flat section of the trail, but very soon it began to wind us down....steeply!   Undaunted, we continued on!  But then, we came to the ruins of a barn.  It was a barn I recognized.

The ruins of this barn stands right next to the parking lot at Gathland.  The same parking lot that we were parked at!  NO!!  We went the wrong way!  I looked at my watch.  If we gave up then, it would be a very short hike of only 45 minutes.  Oh well......we turned around and headed back up the hill.  TWICE I climbed up that hill!

We eventually made it to the top and things leveled out a bit...but only a slight bit!  They were still steadily uphill, or so it seemed!  But it was an enjoyable hike!  We saw lots of fun things like a red mushroom and a neat AT mark on a step/log placed for erosion.

This was a second opportunity to use my new Trekking poles. (Amazon Affiliate Link)  I can't tell you how much I am enjoying them.  Maybe it is all in my head.  Maybe the do not do anything for me.  But I feel more stable and confident.  I don't believe my knees hurt as much after a walk and after climbing up and down big rock steps.  I totally am loving them!  So far, I think that they are the best and wisest decision I've ever made!

We had a great time.  It may have been hot.  It may have been humid.  It may have been a lot of uphill climbing.   But we had a fantastic time out in nature!  Ohhh, and even better?  We got in 2.25 hours of exercise and I slept like a baby that night!

Summer Salad

One of our favorite dishes in the summer is this summer Salad.  It is filled with nutritious beans and is  healthy, light and very filling.

15 ounce can black beans, rinsed and drained

15 oz can pinto beans , rinsed and drained

15 oz can kidney beans, rinsed and drained

Rinsed and drained , rinsed and drained

15 oz bag frozen sweet corn kernels

small chopped red onion

2 garlic cloves, chopped

2-3 chopped bell peppers (different colors make it prettier but not necessary)

Mix all of the above ingredients together in a large bowl

THe Dressing

1 tbs ground pepper

1 tsp salt

1/4 cup canola oil

1/2 cup red wine vinegar

The juice of two limes

Whisk all of the ingredients for the dressing together and pour over the vegetables.  This can be eaten immediately, but the taste will be enhanced after they sit and marinate together for a bit.

serves 10

Cal 245.4

total fat 6.5

chol 0

sodium 192.4

total carbs 39.6

fiber 11.4

Sugars 1.9

protein 10.6

Click here for  a printable recipe of this Summer Bean Salad.

LEKI Trekking Poles

​I recently found myself in the market for some Trekking poles and started to do my research.  I had no clue what I was looking and therefore, I started this research blind.  I knew nothing about trekking poles, it had just come as a bright idea that it may help my hiking abilities.    I read some articles and I talked to the sales representatives at my local trail outfitter.  Eventually, I decided to purchase a pair of LEKI trekking poles.

Researching Trekking Poles

​I started my research online.  I had only a vague idea that trekking poles would help me with a problem that I had recently developed while hiking.  The problem?  I had been stumbling more frequently and while hiking was occasionally unable to catch myself from falling.   (I had first checked for other health issues, but everything appeared to be fine, I was just falling….a LOT!)   That is where I started my research.  Immediately I looked for guidance.  Would trekking poles help me with my stability?    The resounding answer was yes!  I was ready to really start shopping!  But then my eye caught some other things that Trekking poles are noted to help.  Trekking poles were supposed to help with balance and stability for those suffering with arthritis in the knees!  Perfect!  But, the clincher for me?  It also has been helpful for people who have hands that swell while hiking!  Oh my word.  I was totally hooked now!
 
There are a ton of different brands out there.  I am an Amazon shopper so I immediately turned to Amazon.  I found trekking poles for as low as $20!  Awesome, it wasn’t going to break the bank!   But then I started to look at the reviews.  Hmmmm, flimsy and break after the first use.  I was not impressed.  I knew that I was going to be using these to help give me stability and a trekking pole that broke while I was using it was NOT going to keep me upright!  In fact, that sounded downright disastrous!   I went back to the research table and started to look at the top trekking poles.  I was so confused and didn’t know what way to turn!

Visiting A Trail Outfitter Store

We decided to stop into our locally owned trail outfitter to check out their options for trekking poles.   I was excited to see what they had in the store.  I was hoping that they had something in stock!  They were easy to find and we made our way right over to their selection.  I immediately grabbed a pair or women’s poles.  They looked snazzy.  I extended them and did a few steps.  Hmmm.  They seemed to bow a bit with very little pressure.  That didn’t seem safe to me.  I grabbed a pair of LEKI poles and we extended them to the proper height.  They were stiff and solid and seemed to have no bend or bow in them when I put a bit of pressure onto them.     
 
The sales representative came over and started to talk to us about the different brands and styles of poles.  They did not push one way or the other.  HOWEVER, they did talk about the warranty of each product. They talked about the superior customer service of LEKI products and the ease of receiving replacement parts for anything that wears out or gets broken.  LEKI is a company that specializes and manufactures two types of products, trekking poles and camp chairs.  Their R&R is not spread thin, all of their attention is centered on these two products and they stand behind their products. LEKI seemed like a great company that stood behind their products!  I was sold!   It wasn’t until I got my trekking poles home that I  read the documents to realize that these trekking poles have a lifetime warranty on defective material and product.  Furthermore, warranty parts are available for up to 10 years after the product is manufactured.   EVEN BETTER!

Using the LEKI Trekking POles

We immediately took my new LEKI trekking poles to an easy trail so that I could experiment with them.   Getting the motion down is actually more awkward then you would think, but after a bit it became more natural.  But the real test occurred when we headed to a portion of the Appalachian Trail that is uphill and rocky.
 
I headed out with some apprehension due to my recent falls and right off the bat we encountered our first rocky climb up some steps that have no handholds/trees.  I put those poles to use and marched right up those uneven rocky steps.  The poles gave me the stability I needed and helped my arthritic knees by taking the pressure off of them.  Oh my word, they work perfectly!

I used the poles with the glove type strap.  I wasn’t sure if I would like a glove instead of a strap, but when my hand was in the glove, it correctly positioned my hands on the grips of the poles.  The design allowed me to now have to grip the poles tightly and it helped to spread any weight or pressure in an ergonomically and efficient way.  We hiked for 3 hours that first trip where I really put the poles to the test and my hands and arms felt as comfortable at the end of the hike as they did at the beginning.  It was a painless learning experience!

The grips are great!  We were hiking on a day when the temperatures was 95 degrees Fahrenheit  with a super high humidity. I was wondering how the grips would handle a hot day.  I shouldn’t have been worried.  I never once had any issue where my hands felt slick.  The grips worked fabulously and even after 3 hours of a sweaty hike, felt dry and new.
​
These poles are easy to adjust for different heights.  When we started our hike, it only took me a minute  or two to extend and adjust the poles to the proper position for comfort and safety.  After hiking up the mountain we turned around for our descent.  After just one or two steps down a steep part of the trail I stopped and quickly adjusted the height of the poles for downhill trekking.  All in all, that adjustment took less than a minute.   There is no long adjustment or worry.  It is quick and easy.  SO easy in fact that when we were done with our hike, I returned the poles to their small carrying size while I walked across the parking lot toward my car.  It really is that easy and quick!

​I am totally in love with these trekking poles!  They will be going with me on all of my hikes.  I am planning on getting some carabiner clips for my backpack so that even when I am choosing to not use them, that they are there with me.  I felt myself stumble and trip once or twice during this hike but the added stability of these poles made the stumbles just that, a stumble.

 

Weigh in Time

It is weigh in time once again and a review of my week!   Some weeks are fun to share, some weeks are tough to share and others, well they are just mediocre with everything.   This week is a mundane so so week where I am not dreading to share my results but I am not overly excited either.  

Let me start with the exercise.  We got out and hiked in the heat twice.  The first time was at a regional park where we do a lot of mountain biking.  I forgot my camera and phone so I had Jason take a picture of me for posterity sake (well and because I am a YouTuber and Blogger and need footage!).   

Hiking At Little Bennett Regional Park

The next day we headed out to hike again. This time we hiked on the Appalachian Trail for a bit to hike to the Weverton Cliffs.  I was happy to really give my new Trekking Poles a workout and I love them!  The view at the top of the hike was fabulous!

Weverton Cliffs (Maryland AT)

We finished our hike and picked up subs/sandwiches on the way home.  I had calculated my food intake before we even walked into the sub shop.  I was sooo hungry though that I bowed to the 'fat thinking' and ordered a whole sub.  I ate that whole sub too! (At least it was Turkey...and one of the healthiest options there!) I at the chips that I bought also.  And why did they have to be nice and give me two cookies (they were stuck together) because you know I ate them both!   Furthermore, I was still hungry and ate more chips and some strawberries!  I was ravenous!  The next day my weight was up.  OOOPS

The rest of the week I didn't falter too badly, but my efforts were only lackluster.  I was never off the rails, but some of my choices COULD have been a bit better!

I pulled out the stability ball and I have been trying to sit on that for a few hours a day at my desk.  Do people even use these things anymore????  I haven't decided if it's doing any good, but it breaks up the monotony of my day so I will probably continue!

And with my lack of true grit and willpower, I managed to regain the 0.6 that I lost last week.  So yes, a wee gain!  

Honestly, I am not upset about my gain.  NO, I'm not happy.  BUT, I can see that my efforts did not match the weeks before and I can see that I need to focus more.  So I had  a week gain to teach me a lesson....Lesson learned!!!!!

Think Thin

Over the years I have somehow managed to forget about one of the most important aspects of this weight loss journey.  I totally forgot to 'Think Thin".   How in the world did I forget this?   There is no telling why, but I remember now! 

A week or so ago, I was filming a segment for my youtube channel.  I was talking about my choices in this weight loss journey.  More specifically, I was talking about my question "DO you want to eat this food and be fat or do you want to not eat the food and be thin."   I immediately jumped in and said "ok, not thin now...but thin in the future, but thin up here in my head so that it will trickle down to my body.  That was enough for me to remember my old motto!

Yes, I used to have a motto!  That motto was "Think Thin"  and I wrote about it as early as February of 2007.   It was the concept of thinking as a thin person thinks.  You see, thin people do NOT think like a fat person!   This was startingly clear to me when I had a really thin manager who ate cheesecake for lunch quite a bit.  Ohhh yeah, I hated her to for a while because I would LOVE to be able to eat cheesecake for lunch every day!  But one week I realized what was really happening.

This manager arrived to work on Monday and talked about how she had brought some cheesecake for lunch.  I didn't say anything but  inside I was seething and asking myself why could I not have cheesecake and be a size zero?  On day two she left for her lunchbreak and once again talked about her cheesecake that she was eating for lunch.  REALLY????   Again?  Life is not fair!!!!!  Every day that week she talked about eating her cheesecake at lunch!   on the fourth or fifth day she brought her cheesecake down and eat it in the office.  THAT is when I realized that she was thinking thin.

You see, She sat down and opened her container.  Inside was a half eaten piece of cheesecake.  Half eaten??  Who leaves a piece of cheesecake partially eaten?  I watched my manager pick up her fork and take a tiny bite of cheesecake.  You could see the absolute bliss as the taste hit her taste buds.  She loved it!  She took another tiny bite and moaned in delight.  She took a third bite and her eyes closed as she reveled in the taste.  And then something crazy happened!  She closed that container and took it right back to the refrigerator! 

She ate three bites and stopped.  She thoroughly enjoyed those three bites too!  But she stopped!  For a whole week she worked on ONE PIECE OF CHEESECAKE!  Me, I would have eaten the whole piece in one sitting and licked the plate clean....literally!   And right there is the difference.  Thinking fat....thinking thin.  

Thinking thin is the art of making wise decisions.  Stopping after the bliss of the first taste dies away and putting it away for the next day.  Thinking thin is deciding to do what is good for your body versus what your mind tells you to do.  Thinking thin.  

Thinking fat....well that is eating something until you are sick, long after the good feelings and taste fade away.  Thinking fat is eating everything in sight, because you can, not because you are hungry or craving something....just because.  Thinking fat.

Which do you want to be?   I do not want to be fat.....so I have to really work on making my thoughts and my actions match that of a thin person.  I need to THINK THIN!

Hiking in the Heat

We have been allowing this heat wave to derail us from our outdoor activity.  We both love to be out in the woods on a trail (hiking or biking).  It has been a large part of our relationship.  It is where we go to unwind, destress and exercise.  But the heat this past month has been relentless! We have tried to stay inside as much as possible.  But this weekend we just got tired of it and we went hiking.....twice!

The first time we went out was on Saturday.  We had spent a portion of the day running errands and taking care of some of those mundane things that pop up in life, like grocery shopping.  We decided to head to a regional park, Little Bennett.  This park is a favorite of ours for mountain biking, but we were going to go do a section on foot.  It was hot!  But we didn't die. (Obviously)  We each carried a fair amount of water and it wasn't too bad.  I somehow left home without my phone, so I only have this one picture that I had Jason take!   We found some berry bushes that had a few straggler berries.  They were delicious!   We hiked for a bit over and hour and had a great time!

On Sunday it was just as hot (ok, maybe hotter) but we were feeling confident after our successful hike on Saturday.  We decided to get outside again!  We talked and I did some research and we finally settled on a visit to Weaverton Cliffs off of the Appalachian Trail in Maryland.  I knew it was going to be an uphill, but I was even more excited about that because I really wanted to try out the trekking poles I purchased a few weeks back.  (I wrote about the purchase here.)     

The climb was uphill and it was rocky.  Perfect to try out my LEKI trekking poles!  Oh my word!  I love them!   I did feel myself stumble a few times, but that extra anchor kept me steady as a rock!   Climbing up and down rocks was a cinch.  The poles helped take the pressure off my arthritic knees.  The decision to buy these poles was a good one! After one 'real' hike with them, I am convinced of their worth!!!

The climb up is about a mile and a half and at the top, you come to a fork in the road.  You can go left to stay on the Appalachian Trail or you can turn right and hike 0.2 miles to the cliffs. Of course we went to the cliffs.  

After we enjoyed the view at the top of the cliffs, we turned around and made our way back down the mountain and back to the car!  It was a great hike.  We may have only been our for an hour or two but it was exactly what we needed!!!!

Weekly Weigh Results and the word ONLY

Where does time go???  It feels like I was just reporting  my weigh in results last week and here we are on another week!!!!!  

Worried about my weigh In results

This week was rough.  I was worried and stressed about it from the very beginning.  I was worried because I broke from my internet fasting to go to breakfast on Saturday.  Even though I broke from my fasting schedule, I still kept my calories in check...but I did have pancakes for breakfast....so some extra complex carbs!     I made a pasta salad to have with our grilled dinner on Saturday night.  That pasta was delicious!  I swore it would be a one and done thing for me.  BUT, I got into the pasta salad at least 3 times for my lunches.  Once again, I stayed within my caloric range!  I SHOULD have been ok.  However, I was worried!

You see, I know from past experience that if I have too many complex carbs.....potatoes, bread, pancakes and pasta then I typically don't lose weight!  I've talked about it for years.  As early as 2006, my first year of this channel I was talking about 'lessons learned' in regards to carbohydrates!  

I have also been  a wee bit thirsty and the female scourge may be upon me shortly so I worried about dehydration and water retention.  But those are excuses...I was trending the same weight all week long on the scales so any worry was not due to water retention!

The Weigh in Results

So, what were the results?  How did I officially do???

This week I showed a loss on the scales.  Thank heavens it was a loss!  It was a loss of 0.6 pounds.  So just about a half of pound gone from my body!   I have to admit.  I was a bit disappointed.  I ate within my calorie range.  I kept my calories at about 1300 calories.  I SHOULD have seen a nice number on the scales.  That was a lot of work for a measly half pound wasn't it?  

But then reality hit me.  Oh yes, it was 'only' a half pound loss.  But how many weeks (especially recently) had I been posting gains? Quite a few if I want to be totally honest with myself!   How many weeks had I only been halfway attempting to lose weight.  Talking big but eating even bigger?   Way too many!  How many weeks had a squeaked by with a maintain????   Lots!   Sooooo, having a loss, even if it is "ONLY" a half pound is still a victory!

Plans for the Upcoming Week

First and foremost, I shouldn't have anything that upsets my intermittent fasting schedule this week!  Secondly, I will be a WHOLE lot more diligent about my intake of complex carbs!!!!  I know that is what caused it. And since I know what the problem is, I know how to fix it!  Here is to a fabulous weigh in for next week!!!

Taking my measurements during my Weight loss Journey

I finally broke down and did it!  I took my measurements!   I know, I know…this is so important to do during a weight loss journey!  You don’t have to tell me why I should be doing it, I know!  I actually got on the measure myself bandwagon back at the end of 2019 and the beginning of 2020!  I was doing great with it!  I was measuring myself every month like clockwork!    And then Covid happened.

Like so many people, my life was turned upside down when our world basically shut down.  I started to work from home, Jason was furloughed.  All of my normal routines were wiped away in one fell stroke.  And I gained.  Oh yes, I gained.  I came clean with that on Monday when I posted the results of my first week and a half.    I have been doing very well thus far with getting back on track.  But I was still nervous with taking my measurements.  Without measurements I could 'pretend' that I didn't look like I had gained almost 20 pounds....RIGHT????

Today I called myself out on my excuses to NOT measure.  Oh they were probably quite valid.  "Who knows where the tape measure is?"   "I don't have time!"  And my personal favorite, "I better wait and film it for youtube!"   Ok, so maybe they weren't at all valid!  OK, ok ok, so they were all me trying to delay the inevitable!   But eventually I just did it  Yup.  I did.

The results weren't that bad.  My legs have actually dropped inches almost everywhere.   My arms and my belly increased and all else remained pretty much the same.  It could have been MUCH worse!

I am glad that I faced the numbers!  I think Jason's words that morning gave me courage.  He touched my chin and said "skinny. You see, like so many people I drop my weight in my face.  I've been thinking that my face looked thinner, but I had been thinking that it was wishful thinking. I guess not....it must be true!   So onward and upward......time to lose some more weight!  Here's to me not only remembering to do it but actually DOING my measurements next month also!!!!!

Tips to Avoid Emotional Eating

OK guys.  I am  a total emotional eater!  I can't lie and I can't keep it a secret.  What is the problem with that?  Emotional eating can wreak havoc with a weight loss journey.   Emotional eating is a sure fire way to derail me from achieving my goals on the scales.  I (we) can't let that happen!    When I'm stressed and emotional I turn to food.  It is my comfort and my go to and I fail a lot.  But with an arsenal of techniques and tips to avoid emotional eating, which I have listed below we may just be able to avoid that pitfall of emotional eating!

Emotions with Weight Loss

I had a situation occur about a week ago.  It came out of the blue and was completely unexpected.  It was something that if you know me you would know that not only was it a shock for me but anyone that knows me is shocked.  Jason's words were "Me, I would expect it but with you?  No way!"  The situation totally demoralized me and sent me into a tailspin in terms of my emotions.  It wasn't pretty! I wanted to run to the kitchen with all due haste!  I wanted to shovel in piles of chips and pretzels.  I wanted to make chocolate chip cookies and eat half of the cookie dough and bake the rest and eat those cookies!  I wanted to drown my sorrows in food!

But I didn't!  I stayed away from the kitchen.  Oh my, let me tell you....it was difficult!  But I did it!   Jason came home from work and we headed out for our walk and I talked to him (and cried).  Midway through the walk I realized something so important!

I didn't cave to Emotional Eating  

NO.  I didn't cave!  I won that round!!!!!  I did  not eat my emotions.  I took a different route to handle my emotions and it worked!!!  So what did I do????

1.  I asked myself,  Do you want to eat and stay fat or do you want to not eat and get thin???   I talked about this a week or so ago.  This is a choice and we just need to look at the LONG term benefits and consequences versus the here and now benefit!

2.  Write write write!   I pulled out my journal and I wrote about my emotions.  I have kept a journal for years.   I find that I tend to write more when I'm dealing with emotions and turmoil.  It really is a great way for me to destress and get those emotions out!

3.  Go for a walk, run, bike ride!  It doesn't matter what you do, just get out there and move!  The physical exertion will release endorphins and will help negate the emotional upheaval you are in.  The sweat will help wash away your issues.  Jason got home from work and he had me out walking within minutes!  And I felt better when we got home!!

4.  Talk to a friend.   During my walk with Jason I just opened up and poured out my heart.  He is a saint.  He listened, held my  hand and just supported me as I talked and cried.   Sometimes just talking to someone and having them listen  is all you need to let out those emotions in a healthy manner!

5.  Stay out of the kitchen!  One of the biggest tips is to just stay out of the kitchen.  Don't walk in to put a plate in the sink.  Don't put yourself in near proximity to food.  STAY AWAY from the kitchen!   Find something to do that will keep you out of the kitchen. Pick up a book, watch a movie, write a poem or work on your hobby!  It doesn't matter what you do.....just stay busy!!!!!

These tips are ways that I was able to navigate the pitfall of emotional eating in a successful way that did not derail me from my weight loss journey.  When emotions hit, you have to have a plan.  You have to have a plan of attack.  You have to do whatever it takes to avoid the emotional eating. Emotional eating is a temporary fix that will only lead you to be more angry with yourself...it will NOT fix the issue and will NOT get you to your goal of being fit and healthy!   I will be working to keep these tips first and foremost in my mind because I want to conquer this weight loss journey!!!

Weigh in Results from my recomittment

I have made a complete recommitment to my weight loss journey.  This journey has been long.  It's been crazy with ups and downs.  It's been full of victories and failures.  But through it all, I have ALWAYS wanted to lose the weight and the desire has never left me.  So over the July 4th weekend I decided that it was time to stop thinking about it and get back to losing!  I wrote about my plans and my thoughts on July 6 for the first time and I got to work actually living my plan.

Surprisingly, it wasn't that difficult.  I've done this so many times in the past and for so long that it was more like a 'welcome back old friend' existence when I started to really focus on my efforts. I didn't publish my beginning weight.  I did not want the focus to be on what I regained but rather working with the here I am now and this is what I am doing to correct it!

The Numbers on the Scale

A week ago I wrote about how I was starting to see the results of my changes and that I was feeling empowered with the success that I was having.  Yet, I still did not post any definitive numbers.  I did not post my current weight nor did I post even a number about how much weight I lost.  I just alluded to the success that I was having.

I did this for a few reasons. The first was that I was embarrassed to get to this point of having regained....again.   I wasn't ready to share my true regain until I was well on my way toward regaining control.  I wanted to have a nice success behind me, I wanted to pair my weight gain failure with a weight gain victory.    Yes, I know.....incredibly vain!  But while it may have been vain and prideful, it was what I needed to do for my emotional stability was I first embarked upon this recommittement.

So why didn't I share my numbers last week when I was seeing some success? Quite simply I wanted to get past that first week when the weight is just flying off so easy and get into the true nitty gritty of weight loss.  I wanted to navigate my first weekend successfully...and weekends are tough for me!  My standard mode of operation for the past few years is to lose fantastically during the weekdays and revert back on the weekends and thus show a maintain or maybe if I'm lucky a slight loss. I wanted to get one successful weekend behind me!  

The Weigh in Results

Sooo, how did I do?????  On July 6,  I weighed 248.8 pounds.  As of this morning I weigh 242.4 pounds.  That is a 6.4 pound loss for the 10 days!  I will take it!   I am over the moon happy with what I have lost.  I know that I am on the right track now and that I can continue in this direction!  I have this!!!!!

Fixing problems in my weight loss journey

It is so hot!  Holy cow, it’s been hot!   I am trying my hardest to not let this heat wave affect my weight loss efforts, or more specifically to affect my efforts to get fit and stay active!   This past week we had a set back in our activity but I also experienced a victory when I took steps to correct a separate issue with my fitness options.

Bike ride issues

Over the weekend we planned to go out on a long bike ride!   We got dressed, checked the air pressure in our bike tires, and loaded the bikes into the car.  We were happy and looking forward to our ride as we drive the 30 minutes toward our destination.   All was well!   Until we went to take the bikes off the rack.   One of Jason’s tires was totally flat!   We already run tubeless...so it  wasn’t just a thing of changing the tube.  We pondered the options.  We could pump the tire up, but there was obviously a greater issue than just needing air, especially since the tire had been full of air only 30-40 minutes earlier.   We ultimately decided that heading out for a 3 hour ride was probably not wise.  So we reloaded the bikes and went home!

We didn’t let that stop us though!  We took the bikes back inside and we immediately headed out for a walk!   We had already taken a chunk of our day with the bikes so we headed for a local segment of the C&O Canal to take a nice walk.  The cancelled bike ride might have been catastrophic to our activity levels, but we didn’t let that stop us!  We had a nice walk. 

We were out for about 2 hours on our nice long walk.  We checked out a few of the side trails that led down to the river and enjoyed the architecture and buildings on the canal.  It was definitely a good time....even with the flat tire AND the heavy downpour of rain that occurred at the end of our walk!

Fixing a hiking problem

I have been very open about the fact that I have been having issues while hiking this year.  I seem to be falling....a lot!  Or maybe just a lot more than I feel is normal!   I fell in January on a hike on the Appalachian trail   I fell again in February on a really easy trail that we were walking and exploring abandoned buildings in attempt to protect my tender back!  I was actually filming video footage during that fall which you can see on my YouTube channel.  There have been a few more falls also!   It’s been quite concerning!

The concern and worry escalated recently when we were hiking a New River Gorge.  We were in a trail that I desperately wanted to hike!  But I felt that it was much too risky in light of my recent falls!   I wanted to find a solution...I needed to find a solution!   The solution...or at least the attempt to find a solution has come!   

I started researching trekking poles almost as soon as we got home from that hiking trip!  The more I read, the more I was sure that trekking poles were going to be the solution!   I researched and this past weekend I bite the bullet and purchased a pair!   I went with the brand LEKI   I like the warranty that they offer and I have heard that their customer service is top notch!   They were a bit pricy but I wanted poles that I could feel confident with while using!  LEKI has a range of options and I chose the middle of the road in terms of price. (Amazon link). We have gone out to an easy trail for me to use them.  It’s going to take time to get used to them!  I have read though that in time it will become second nature!!!  I hope to get out again this weekend on a trail so that I can use my trekking poles again!

Getting fit, losing weight and being healthy is a constant journey of navigating and overcoming challenges.    This past week was the perfect example of how these challenges hit us and how we can work to overcome them!   I will not let’s these things keep me from my goals!

Being honest about my weight loss efforts

It is no secret that I have been struggling for a few months.   I have been pretty open about my ‘lose one week and gain the next weeks struggle.  It had been a tough journey.  I was floundering...but was I really being honest with myself?  Upon some reflection, I found that I was not being honest with myself in terms of this weight loss journey and it was holding me back!

Tracking food honestly

I was tracking, for the most part.  Admittedly, I had days and even weeks when I failed at tracking, but i was open and transparent about that!   I am talking about honesty in what I was tracking.  And when I think about it, I honestly think I was being pretty honest.  I think my issue would be with the fact that when I would look for something on myfitnesspal I would play and find the ‘best possible option’ for me.   There is a huge database on my fitness pal (which is one of the reasons that I have stuck with that app versus switching to something else).  With that huge database comes multiple options for your searches!   I can look up something like mashed potatoes and find hundreds of options!   Where I went wrong is that I found the lowest mashed potato option and used that!  I have changed and gotten honest with myself.  If the item in question is more subjective, I am finding the middle of the road option.  For example, if I found mashed potatoes with calories ranging from 200 calories to 600 calories, I am not estimating the 200 calories in my count but rather the 400 average!  I am also taking the time to once again enter my recipes to get an exact calorie count.  Thus, I am being much more honest with my tracking!

Acceptance of my body and my limitations

Another big change is that I have finally not just admitted but more importantly accepted that my body does not lose weight at anything over 1400 calories.  I’ve accepted the fact that for me to lose weight I can’t eat my earned exercise calories.  I’ve been admitting this for a while  but I didn’t want to accept it!!!   I didn’t want to restrict myself down to 1200-1300 calories!  So I resisted.  There were some weeks that I did great with that and kept my calories low.  (and lost). But then the next week I would eat 1500 calories on most days of that week and boom my weight would simply maintain my weight or worse, I would gain!  Then I would say ‘but by the numbers, I should be losing weight.  And then I would cry and whine about it a bitZ.  I wasn’t being honest with myself and my bodies particular weight loss idiosyncrasies!   I had to not just admit that for my body and method that I chose to lose weight that I have to keep my calories lower....I had to accept it! 

Limitations of Sweet Treats

I have been saying for months ok probably years.  ‘I refuse to give up my sweet treats.  And that is all good and fine.  I am whole heartedly still behind that statement!   I can’t give up everything and live a life of total restriction!  However, I was indulging in the sweet treats more than once a week.  I am ashamed to admit it!  But I was!   Oh it was tracked....but that sweet treat frequently took my calorie count (which as I already mentioned was Most likely estimated way too low) way over my daily goal (which as I previously said was not a good goal for my body!).   Being honest with myself, I had to admit and accept that my sweet treats really need to be more restricted!  So cakes, chocolate, cookies...whatever I chose to indulge in, is much more limited.  I did indulge once in the last week and I felt ok with it!  Even better,  I haven’t seen any adverse affect on the scale!!!    I am not counting occasional snack of a banana in the evening toward that ‘limited food’ even though I add some chocolate syrup!  A banana is healthy!  The chocolate syrup is sweet but minimal! 

I had to get really honest with myself in order for my weight loss efforts to really take off.  I had to stop trying to stretch things as far as I could while still being ‘healthy’.  The dishonesty wasn’t hurting anyone but myself!!!   Luckily, I have opened my eyes and I see where I was wrong.  I can’t go back and take the past away.  But, I can move forward and operate with totally honesty to myself!