Wither Away

 

I would love to say that this past week was a rousing success.  I would love to say that I lost an amazing amount of weight.   I would love to say that my health efforts had been spot on.  I would be absolutely over the moon to be able to say that the elephant in the room, my mobility had improved.   I would love to tell you all that.   But I can’t.

I started this past week super focused and dedicated.  A coworker and I had been talking and she is big into fasting.  She has decided that she needed to lose weight by Thanksgiving, 10 pounds was her goal in 20 days.  And she was going to do it by fasting.   She and I had had this conversation before and I had been impressed with her losses from fasting a day or so here and there.  I had previously looked into fasting as a regular tool in my healthy living lifestyle.  I even read books on fasting.    And lastly, I tried fasting at that time. And it was a colossal failure then (you can read about that here.)   So why in the world would I decide to try fasting again.  Yes, I for some reason decided that I was going to fast again.  I was going to join my coworker on this thrust to lose mad pounds by Thanksgiving by fasting.  I wasn’t going to do the 2-3 day fasts that my coworker was doing, but I was going to follow the OMAD fasting schedule, one meal a day.  What could go wrong?    (I’m telling you; I had completely blanked out the previous experience.  There is no other explanation.)   EVERYTHING went wrong.   I got hungry during my fast and when that eating window opened, I descended upon food like there was no tomorrow.  I have always said “I can do a lot of damage in one hour of eating”.  Once again, I proved it.  My weight is UP on the scale after a few days of fasting.   NO MORE FASTING FOR ME!

So I had a failure with eating, surely exercise went better!   Except, that didn’t go any better either.   I started Monday so strong.  On my word was I on top of things.  I exercised at 5AM.    I even did a short 20-minute exercise video after work!    Twice in one day!  I was on top of it.  Nothing was going to stop me!   Tuesday, I started out right with another 5 AM exercise and then it went to hell in a hand basket! 

 It was about 7:30 and I was outside with the dog.  In the mornings I pick up her toys and straighten up things that were left out the previous day.  (I swear Jason has some type of attention deficit disorder, he will be in the middle of something and just walk away and let it lay when he moves on to a different project). We were also forecasted to get our first deep freeze.   Because of that, I wanted to get a few summer things put away, namely our hoses. So while the dog was on her lead (after the dog ran away at 5AM, I have not been brave enough to let her loose while I am home by myself and if truth be known, I haven’t let her outside without a leash while Jason is in the shower either!)

   So Zoey was rambling around on her lead while I flitted around the yard doing this and doing that.   I saw something across the yard that needed my attention so I stepped over Zoey’s lead.  I was very cognizant of doing it.  But she was just serenely watching the sky, so I knew that I had time to take that step over without any concern.   Except, that dog can go from zero to 60 in no time at all!  She saw something. (There was probably an airplane flying high over us leaving its jet trail.  You see, for some reason that infuriates this dog.)  Off she took running, while I was straddling her lead.  Next thing I knew, I was kissing the ground. I must have twisted when I dropped because my left knee was bruised and sore but it was my right upper side that took the brunt of the fall.  From my shoulder blade, up through my shoulder and down my arm it hurt.    It was bad enough that the first two nights after this happened, I struggled with sleep because of the pain.  It has diminished and I am starting to feel better.  BUT you know what that did to exercise!  From that point on, exercise didn’t happen.

So it was a week of failure in terms of my weight loss and healthy living efforts.    On Friday I spent the day with my oldest nephew at the Gettysburg Battlefield’s museum, film and cyclorama.  (Yes, we took pretty much the full day to do those things.) As we went through the museum we were talking, of course.  And of course we touched on my parents.   We touched on my mom in particular, and how much we miss her.  (She had a knack in later years for saying the rudest things to me, but she still loved me to no end and I loved her and I can see where her comments to me where frustration and unhappiness in her, especially after dad died.)   We talked about how when my nephew left to go to London for grad school that he resigned himself to the fact that his grandmother would likely pass away while he was gone.   And when he came back to the states how he was so shocked at her decline. (Those of us that were able to visit frequently didn’t see it as much because it was just a steady decline…but looking back it was a pretty big descent.)   We talked about that decline that was so visible to him after almost a year away. We talked a bit about the decline and if there could have been anything that could have been done to slow down that descent.  (We agreed that better physical therapy in the first home may have changed the outcome.  MAY.   But the PT at that home wasted so much time on inefficient therapy.   Seriously, for most of her time there, PT had mom lay in bed and do leg lifts and arm raises.    They didn’t have the manpower to actually get her out of bed to start walking….and didn’t dedicate that manpower until literally 2-3 weeks before her medicare paid time was up….when they realized that if they wanted to have a ‘success’ that they needed to get her walking.  So yes, I think she may have gone further if PT would have been more efficient at that first place she was at. IN fairness though, mom was in a reduced state of physical mobility before her stroke!     But The specialists at the hospital in Pittsburg where she was airlifted had seemed to think that she would make a full recovery….so who knows.  But I digress.   My nephew and I were talking about the decline and in my head, I realized that I am letting my health and fitness levels decline.  I recognize it.  I see it.  I know it’s not too late to change.  But, if I would have a stroke right now, I am already in a reduced situation in terms of my mobility.  I would be starting at a deficit, much like mom had.  Would I have the strength to overcome, or would I just slowly decline and wither away into …….

Fitness Levels

There was a time that I was in super fit!  Sure I was still overweight but I was a machine!  I have deluded myself into thinking that I am still there!  Boy was I wrong!

Being Fit

6 years ago I was in super fit!  I was about 30 (give or take) pounds above my goal weight but that didn’t stop me!  I was doing Zumba, sometimes up to five or six hour long classes  a week.  I was running anywhere between fifteen to twenty miles a week.   I hiked….a lot!   I was active and felt amazing!  There was one time where Jason and I were talking about doing planks and I dropped to the floor and did a plank…and held it didn’t a few minutes with no issue.   The same thing with lunges…I could knock out scads of them without breaking a sweat. I am telling you, I was in shape!   

I called myself the fittest fat woman in a joking manner. But I didn’t realize how true that was!   And I didn’t put a value on it.  I didn’t protect that status.  I didn’t realize it until just recently when I tried to do my new fitness routine just how badly I have fallen!

The Fitness Awakening

I started my 12 week plan a few days ago. (You can read about it here.). I dove right into the strength training.   I was even cocky!   Boy was I in for a rude awakening!

Day one rolled around and I eagerly started my basic strength training moves.   I scoffed a bit at the ease that this was going to be.  20 squats?   Child’s play!   15 seconds to hold a plank, I could do that blindfolded with my hands tied around my back (figuratively speaking).   I had this in the bag!   I was actually feeling proud and cocky.  I vowed that I would be doing multiple sets within a week if not that first week because I wanted to give myself a great strength training workout!   It all came crashing down around me, and it didn’t take long!

That first day, I could barely make it those 15 seconds for that plank. (Today I’m scheduled for 40 seconds…dear heavens help me!)  Crunches, lunges,  jumping jacks, butt kicks , push-ups and wall sits.  It just spiraled out of control!  One set and I was panting and glad to be done!   Yikes what happened to my fitness?

What happened?  I didn’t value it and it slipped from my grasp!   I lost my fitness level.  I was so disheartened! But,  I didn’t let my revelation drive me away!   I did my ‘simple’ strength routine the next day too. (Although I now knew that it was not simple!)  And that my friends is when the abs started to scream!   Oh yes.  My abs are so sore!    But I’m weirdly proud of that.  You see, sore abs are the first step to bringing back my fitness levels.

Fitness Going Forward

I am not letting up.   I will be doing my strength training routine today also.  I am scheduled and plan for  5 days a week.  And let me tell you, I’ll be so ready for my two rest days over the weekend!   I am only doing one set of my exercises at the moment.   I know I was bold and vowed to do two sets to start and then up it as the twelve weeks progressed.  But one set is enough to do me in right now!  I admittedly looked at my schedule for today and groaned when I saw the reps that I need to do for my crunches…and the seconds for my plank.  Yikes!  These muscle aches aren’t going away anytime soon!   But it will all be worth it in the end!   I will settle for the title of fittest fat person!  But this time I’m really focusing on my eating also…because I plan on being a fit thin person!!!

Perceptions: our warped ‘healthy outloook’ thinking

I have been thinking a lot recently about perceptions.   More specifically, I have been thinking a lot about my perception of myself.  My weight has fluctuated a lot over the years.  I have been as high as 320 pounds and as low as 175 and I have been everywhere in between. I have been fit.  I have been not fit.  I have been fat.  I have been thin.  I can see the whole lifecycle and all of these changes….NOW.  But when I look back, I have had a totally warped sense of who and what I am.

When I was 320 pounds, I didn’t see myself as a larger gal.  I was just me and I saw myself as a normal size.  I originally got swept into the weight loss race by friends at work…an accountability group.  I stayed in the race as an effort to make my then-spouse desire and love me. (STUPID move on my end!)  But I did not have any perception that I was overweight.  Looking back, how utterly crazy!  There I was  wearing size 22 and 24 (bursting at the seams) and I didn’t feel fat!  Looking back, I know that my perception of myself was WAY off.  I was severely overweight!

I worked my tail end off and made it to my goal weight and something  crazy happened.  While I never felt fat before, I at that point began to see myself as fat!  How insane is that?  I could not see my weight loss in the mirror.  I was now thin (I’m going to call size 10 thin) but I felt like I was fat.  My perception was WAY off again. 

As I have gained weight, I have felt the weight.  I can see myself as overweight.  But I can see how thin I was just a few  years ago.  My perception of myself is, I think;  pretty spot on at the moment.   (Surprising isn’t it?)

I just realized the other day that my perceptions about my fitness levels were pretty warped also. 

When I was severely overweight, I thought I was pretty fit and active.  I still rode a bike.  So I was fit right???  I thought so!! 

I didn’t really exercise TOO heavily when I was losing weight.  I was only sporadic with my exercise when I was at my lowest.  But the whole time, I thought that I was fit.  I thought I was fit when I was big and I thought that I was fit when I was small.  My perception was way off!

But, as I started to regain the weight I continued with the exercise and in fact, even picked up more and more activities. (Looking back, some were in an effort to lose weight but a lot were in an effort to drown the sorrow of a sad and pitiful relationship.)  I didn’t see myself as fit at that point.  But I remember weekend mornings where I would get up and go run 3-5 miles at the battlefield and when I got back to my car I would eat a banana to refuel while I waited for my friend to arrive for our weekly walk.  I would then walk at least 3 miles with that friend.  I would THEN go home and clean the house, work in the yard and maybe go out for a bike ride or some other activity later in the day.    Even when I met Jason.  I would go for a run in the morning go back and push mow the yards (an hour worth of activity) go inside and shower and then head out to go hiking with jason.  ACTIVE and fit!  But I didn’t see it in myself. I thought I was a slug. 

This active lifestyle was emphasized in a recent time hop picture that popped up on my facebook page.  It was originally posted on a Wednesday.  I had apparently only worked half a day (which happened every other Wednesday at that job).  So I went for a long walk…..went for a run….and then hit up Zumba.  (I wonder if it was a night where I did a double class…two hours….because I frequently did back to back classes on my half days!).      But I remember thinking that I was fat and unfit…because I didn’t weigh the ‘perfect weight’ and I didn’t look like a string bean.    But seriously.  That was an ACTIVE day!  I remember those days and they didn’t faze me….I rolled through them with a smile on my face!  My perception of my fit level was WAY off.  I was fit!

The time hop picture that made me see?   

 I want that fit level back!  I don’t want the exact saying back….because I don’t want Todd back!!!!  But I DO want to be able to say “I hiked with Jason, then went for a run and just because I then went to Zumba” 

Maybe, just maybe I had to regain the weight to actually learn to see myself for exactly what I am.  I see the difference between where I am now.  I had to lose that fitness before I recognized it!  I had to regain the weight before I recognized it.   Maybe this was for me a vital step to truly becoming healthy and fit physically AND mentally/emotionally!!!

Vacation: the perfect motivation

I have written about motivation so many times. It’s crazy how many times I’ve probably written about motivation.   I wrote about it recently when I wrote tips for motivation   But it happens because  motivation is fleeting and ever changing.

In the past I have been motivated to lose weight for various reasons. Sometimes it was competition with a friend, once it was even a personal competition with an enemy who I didn’t want to show me up. I have lost weight to get into goal clothing. And I lost weight trying to make my ex husband love me.  I have probably been motivated by a gazillion and one different things. And that’s OK, because it worked.  

I have a few current motivations running through my mind. There are one or two things that I am not quite ready to share  here yet. But let me tell you, they are good reasons!

But a real big motivation?

We have vacation in one week!  We are planning and hoping for a very active vacation. I know that my fitness level will hold us back a little bit. I also know that my lack of fitness will mean that what I do, will cause me to ache. I am OK with that. However, we are starting to plan our vacation for next year. It’s going to be a big one.  I am not OK with passing on some opportunities that may crop up during that vacation due to my lack of fitness. Nor am I OK with pushing myself through and then aching  miserably for the rest  of the vacation. I WILL have my fitness fixed before then. How’s that for motivation?

Combating headaches

I keep vowing to start exercise and to get back in shape. I have the greatest and grandest intentions. But it seems like something always happens to keep me from starting and continuing the fitness routines.  Honestly, they are always valid excuses and reasons. We have had a lot of rain and that has kept us from getting on our bicycles.  We get home from work late.  We have also really struggled with headaches. Sinus pressure and allergy headaches to be exact. Debilitating on some days… And it take everything in us to just make it through the workday. Exercise gets pushed way far down the line in importance. I told you these excuses were valid.

This past weekend we were lounging around at home. We felt sluggish and exhausted. We had massive pressure headaches. The gorgeous weather? We forced ourselves to enjoy it as much as possible, but we felt horrible. That horrible feeling sparked a conversation between us....

When Jason and I first met, I was in incredible shape, probably the best I have ever been in. I was doing Zumba multiple times a week, I was walking a lot and I was consistently running., I was coming off of my training for the aborted half marathon. I do not remember any weekend that I had to cancel a hike because my head hurt or because I felt sluggish. In fact, many Saturdays I would wake up… Go for a 3 mile run… Get home push mow for an hour… Shower and then meet up with Jason to go hiking. I wasn’t kidding a few posts ago when I admitted that my fitness level is currently in the garbage can, because I don’t think I could do that right now.

That first year that Jason and I were together, we never had to cancel a hike because of his allergies. Oh yeah, he may have mentioned them in passing but they weren’t the debilitating kind that make you want to curl up in a ball and do nothing. We talked about this the other day. It was almost a year to a year and a half before his headaches kicked in really bad. Now I have mentioned that his headaches are allergy induced. So did we just luck out with easy allergy seasons up to now???  Maybe. However I think it has more to do with our fitness levels.

During that first year or two, we were hiking mad miles. In the afternoon and evening when we were free from work, we got together end went out for long walks. Miles of walking. Our relationship grew strong during that activity. Our bodies grew stronger during that time too. And I personally think that we were healthier and that our bodies were able to fight off the allergies and the symptoms that go with the allergies much easier.

Last week I was in charge of The morning inspirational quote at work. I chose two quotes from Theodore Roosevelt. While I was looking at them, I read a little bit about our 26th president. As a young child he suffered from severe asthma attacks. By accident, he figured out and learned that strenuous physical activity actually made him stronger and his body reacted in such a way that the asthma was contained and managed… It was under control. Some skeptics will say he just grew out of it, but he fervently believed in the strenuous activity… And strenuous living. Push oneself to the max was his belief. He actually lived his life strenuously… Choosing the hardest route and then reaping the greatest rewards.

Maybe I’m way off base here. Maybe the allergy seasons have just been that horrible the last two years. Maybe I have picked up allergies that I never had before. But maybe… Just maybe the fact that I have become a slug is playing a part. Well, do you know what? I can’t change how bad the  allergy season is… Mother nature decides that. I also cannot change how my body reacts to these pollens (not without medicine). But, I can change my fitness level.

Top O’ The World

I was going to start running when we moved… Really I was! But let me backtrack and talk about the move and how  my back was aching so bad, and Jason’s knee with kicking  something fierce. We had some choices to make, so we kind of just grabbed the necessary things. My brother and his family helped and they got everything of mine with the exception of maybe five or six boxes and bins. So I woke up on Saturday morning thinking this is the day I’m going to go run. Until I remembered that my running clothes and gear was in one of the boxes that was still at my mothers house. Oops!  I have that stuff in my possession now so there should be no excuses for this week.

Food wise I am doing OK actually, for the most part. Jason and I are making a conscious effort to beef up the amounts of vegetables and fruit we have in the house. And we are eating them and loving them. We are eating at home and doing pretty good with that.  Of course that first sentence of this paragraph included the words for the most part… So there is a negative.  For Christmas I gave Jason a VW bus cookie cutter and a VW bug cookie cutter.  It came with a ‘lifetime supply of cookies. Now that we are together it was time for me to start keeping my part of that lifetime supply!  I made cookies this weekend… They are delicious and I ate too many yesterday. 

They are not pretty...the cake decorating icing bag  I was using popped a seam and well...I stopped caring about ‘pretty’ after that happened.

My weight seems to be hovering in a 2-3 pound range.  . It was low on Saturday morning and high this morning.  And the same all last week..up, down, up, down.   No surprise… Considering I just talked about the cookies.

We finally got out on our  bikes! Yup, we went out this weekend!  First time this year. I was sore… Really sore. But we have to start somewhere it’ll only get better the more I do it.

Which brings me to what has been on my mind a lot lately. Fitness levels. How quickly they go away… Well it seems quick to me. So I’m going to take a little walk through history…because it shows how it happened.

Fall of 2014. I weighed 220 pounds, and I was  dropping.  (I actually think I saw 215 at one point, maybe lower). I was going to Zumba three nights a week and sometimes doing back to back classes. I was running 3 to 4 times a week, most of those runs were  between three and 6 miles. I felt fabulous. Physically and emotionally because I was beating this food addiction and curse.

In 2015… I divorced and moved in with my parents. Eating healthy was no longer an easy option, and as my mother bakes for two markets there was always delicious baked goods at my disposal. I gained 20 pounds. I continued my heavy load of Zumba and running. The extra weight slowed down my running pace but I was still really active and in pretty good shape. 

2016, and Zumba ended. I was sad on many levels… Zumba have been a social outlet, and emotional crutch through my divorce, and a huge portion of my fitness activity. Jason and I hiked a lot that year! Like a lot of miles! Our schedules also allowed us to go for long walks every evening, or at least most evenings. It was nothing that summer for us to walk five or 6 miles in the evening (and I usually ran 2-4 times a week in the morning).  Every evening. Yes hiking hurt a little bit sometimes… Like up some mad Mountain or vicious trail, but it was good. That fall Jason and I added breaking into our repertoire of activity. Our first ride was sore but not buffalo … We were still pretty active and that fitness level showed when we picked up biking. 

2017… And here is where it all started to go to pot. It took about a year for me to see physical signs that my fitness levels from Zumba we’re starting to fade. Little things flexibility, strength, balance, Etc. We were still active on the weekends and evenings. At least the first couple months of the year. And then we made some changes in our work, which changed our schedules. We stopped walking at night… Or if we did we were lucky to get in 1 mile. I couldn’t fit runs it to my daily routine I was already waking up at 5 AM and not getting home until 8 PM, and I was constantly exhausted (3 to 4 hours in a car a day is way. Too much). We still did active things on the weekend, and I did walk on my lunch breaks, but it just wasn’t enough.

So now it’s 2018 and here I am sitting in the worst physical shape I have been in in probably 10 years.   And I don’t like it!!!!   I don’t look forward to the aches and pains of rebuilding my fitness level...nor do I look forward to the dread of starting each day knowing how ‘bad’ it may feel.  But, I do look forward to that ‘Top O’ the World’ feeling I get from being active and conquering this food addiction. 

I’ve got this!!!!!!

The effects are starting to make themselves known

My weekly weigh in was fabulous!  It showed me down 3.1 pounds from last week!  Amazing.  I don't know how.  But I am not going to look a gift horse in the mouth!     That said my food has been somewhat more in line.....kinda.  I am still tracking and while I've been over I've not been fantastically and miserably over my caloric goal!  Except for today....I was WAY over today.  It was the Dairy Queen Blizzard that I was craving.   I wanted it while I was driving up the road from Charleston on Sunday and I didn't get it due to long lines......and I held it off all week.  But tonight I just knew I wanted it.  I knew that it was going to get to the point that I would eat everything else under the sun in attempt to satisfy that craving...so instead of doing that and then STILL end up eating what I really want...I just went and got the pesky blizzard.   LOTS of calories...but I don't regret it at all and I'm ready to move on to healthier options now!

I got a nice hike in yesterday..  Went up the Thurston Griggs trail to the Appalachian trail.  (I did this section about two weeks ago) and then this week we went north on the A.T.

  My legs were SORE when I got back to the car.   This morning I woke up quite stiff.  I walked it out but I could tell I worked it!

So my revelation of the last few days/weeks?    The absence of zumba in my life has made a HUGE difference to my overall level of fitness.    I can tell a difference!   Im NOT happy with this!  The organized class kept me on track.  On my own it's just very difficult to be consistent.  I could say go to the gym and take classes (and that's an option for sure) but it's not the same as 'MY CLASS'.  You see, my zumba peeps and the friendship with the instructor is what drove me to the class week after week....class after class...and even to some nights in the past where I did back to back classes!   Without that pull, I have floundered!

I have made the realization....now I just have to figure out how to fix it!

Preparing for my last February weigh in

We did make it to the gym. I had a pretty good workout...but I was TIRED TIRED TIRED when it was over. Yes, triple tired! I'm also seeing a remarkable difference in how my body is reacting to the work of shovelling and physical labor. In previous years, I'd (we'd...Todd was in the same boat as I) start shovelling...work for 15 -20 minutes and be exhausted...breathing hard...and have to go in the house for a break. This year is a totally different story. Yeah, after moving the heavy snow, my back is sore...but physically I'm not bee tired and exhausted. It is really neat to see how my body is more conditioned now. Kinda cool
I'm so disgusted...because without eating anything bad......and doing everything seemingly right (all my water...all my healthy foods....no cheating....exercise) I've gained 2 pounds this week! ARRGGGHHHH Yes, I know it will come off! I'm hoping at least one pound is gone tomorrow night for my official weigh in!
I'm actually hungry right now. I may head off to read in bed....I won't be as tempted to go to the kitchen and get something to eat if I'm in bed! It seems to work. I've actually got no points left for the day. I do however know what I did at the gym and I actually have 8 AP's that I earned today taht I could use. But honestly I think my wanting to eat is pure boredom. Actually I think it's simply because I'm sitting here and I know there is food out there! :-)

Frustration

Ok, it's been a month. A LONG month of disappointment!I have not lost any weight and continue to flucuate at the same weight. I find this so utterly disappointing and discouraging! I just want to do this. I still haven't measured myself and was thinking this morning that I am goign to make sure that I get that done this weekend.

The past month has brought a lot of changes in my life. I quit my old job, a job where I sat on my butt for 10 hours a day, and spent an hour in the car a day. I got a job only 2 miles from my house at a local deli. I am on my feet for most of my day. The first few weeks were horrendous. While I found that I loved my new job, my legs just ached somethine fierce. Because of this, the biking kinda went by the wayside. Actually everything went by the wayside, I would come home and sit doing nothing. I am happy because I am almost through a work week and this is the first week that my legs haven't felt as if they weighed 10 tons! SOOOO, now I'm itching to get back on the bike and get back to the gym!

My grand plan for this job is to actually start to bike to work! It is only two miles and the road has a pretty wide shoulder to ride on. I haven't done it yet, but if my legs continue to fill good, I just may start soon!

So, in essence, this last month has been one frustration after another! The only good thing......that leaves lots of room for improvement!

Progress....sometimes is harder to find, but it is there!

I really need to measure myself...it's been probably a month and a half since I measured....poundage-wise...seem to be sitting still. :-( The doctor was actually pleased though today....I was 30 pounds lighter than when I was last there a while back.

Well, even though I haven't been seeing a great loss of weight, I did see a difference in SOMETHING this week. We have been working in the garden a lot this week. Previous years, I do something for 15 minutes and I was wiped out.......sore...tired, etc etc etc. Not this year. I noticed that my stamina is much better for active tasks. THe other thing....I've started riding my bike on HILLS.....I have been riding a lot on the canal in previous years...FLAT. I've started riding on the battlefield roads...VERY hilly! It KILLS me, and I am panting and gasping for breath when I get to the top of these hills...BUT the good thing. I recover within a minute or so.....last time I had tried to ride on the battlefield, I couldn't catch my breath...and we actually had to stop for about 15 minutes or so for my heart to stop racing. Now, I keep biking but still recover much faster!

Well Again

This past week has been rough. Today, 8 days after the flu hit, is probably the first day that I haven't felt sick at all (thus far). We actually went to the gym and did a light workout yesterday. It felt good. However, I know I didn't work out to my full potential. BUT.....I got my feet wet and got back into it.

We got about a foot of snow last night. Today when Todd and I went out to shovel, we realized how much more in shape we are....after only one month of working out. We didn't get winded or overheated. We didn't have to stop and rest every couple shovels of snow (and it was a wet heavy snow today). It was a good thing to see.

My weight has been all over the board. The day before we got sick, I was down to 235. I was tickled! Then the next day I was back up at 240. I didn't eat much the first couple days and dropped back to 235. I went back up to 240 toward the middle of the week...and then started dipping again. Then yesterday, I was right back up there. ARRGGGHHH