I did it: mountain bike victory

What a tiring yet victorious weekend!

We managed to get all of our errands done.  We visited my mom and we also visited Jason’s parents.  But...we made it a priority to ride our bikes even amidst everything else.   We had a plan for our time at the beginning of the week and no matter how badly we each wanted to not follow through and not ride our bikes, we did it anyway.  So let’s talk about these bike rides.

On Saturday afternoon, after our weekends errands were done we headed out with our bikes.  Where did we go?   No where other than the Trail of Tears, the location of not one, but two meltdowns.  I figured I could at least make it to the furthest meltdown location.  Am I a glutton for punishment or what?   My goal was to make it af least to that 4.5 mile mark with no tears.  Well....I charged onto the trail.   I even hit the stream crossings like a champ! I didn’t end up with a wet foot either!!!   I also did not rip my pants like the week before!  I was slow at times...but the miles passed and low and behold I made it  to the END of the trail!  Really?   But yes, the trail marker clearly said ‘the end’.   I wasn’t to gung ho about the 6.2 hilly miles I had to ride in order to get back to the car(this trail is an out and back.). But I attacked them like a trooper.   I did have to walk a few hills on the way back, but for the most part I was in the saddle propelling myself forward on the bike. I did it!!!!!

I was sooo sore and tired! My body ached!   That night while I slept every time I moved I was cognizant of my body and the sore muscles.  I believe at one point when I woke I even though, ‘we have a bike ride scheduled for this upcoming morning shortly after we wake up......there is no way!’  I ended that ride completely decimated!   Did I mention that I DID IT?  

On Sunday I woke up pretty much dreading the scheduled morning mountain bike ride.  I knew we had to go in the morning due to plans to visit our families in the afternoon.  I luckily knew that we had planned a shorter ride.  But still, I sooo did not want to go.  When we started to watch a movie at 7am  I was secretly relieved because I was thinking that  we wouldn’t have time for the ride if we watched the whole movie.  But alas we did.  We went out to a trail  that is a bit closer to our place...the one I have  been riding as I have tried to avoid the trail of tears.  I got on the bike and immediately my legs burned like they were on fire.  I knew it wasn’t going to be a pleasant ride.  But I pushed on.   We headed up the hill and while me legs burned, it didn’t seem quite so difficult. It was really odd to be hurting more but handling the trail better than ever.   The trail kinda flew by.  Jason even mentioned that my speed had increased since the last time we were on the trail.  Before I knew it, I was at the top of the trail!  What????? I have had to walk a portion of that trail each time recently (I did manage to ride it once without walking last August....and I pretty much collapsed with exhaustion at the end of the trail!).   So I had a victory on Sunday, even though I was so tired and achy!   I managed to ride the trail without stopping...and it seemed, well kinda easier!!!

Two victories!!!!  Two HUGE victories!   I have also managed to continue making good choices with my eating.  I again passed up the chick fil a milkshake and  the cookie from Jimmy Johns.   I did have a small piece of cake that my mom made.  So I did splurge a bit...but it was controlled and only ONCE! Oh and did I mention that I burned mad calories bike riding?  And did I mention that my calories each day was only  about 1500 calories...kinda what my garmin said burned on the Saturday bike trip alone!  

So it was quite the victorious weekend.  Now it’s time to rock the work week.  I plan on focusing on the fact that what I do is a choice...and I can indulge with unhealthy choices or I can do the healthy choice that will bring me closer fo a healthier life.   Oh and yes...this week after work..I plan hope to exercise after work!  

Weekend weight loss

Ahhh what a weekend!  I was so ready for the weekend after the last week of work.  (Ok, I’m really ready each weekend, butast week even more so!). I was anxious to get my official weight for the week and I was looking forward to the quietness and relaxation of the weekend!  I was was also determined to add some activity back into my life this weekend!  

So let’s start with the weight!   I showed exactly 2 pounds down for this new year.  (1.6 down for the last week).  Not too shabby!  But that brings me to my deep thought of the day.   How crazy is it crazy how our minds work!  I lost 2 pounds this new year (woohoo). yet I had to tamp down disappointment and disgust  at what the scales showed!  I don’t like the numbers I see.  I’m working to change those numbers, and I showed results...but I still cringed when I saw the numbers.  In reality I should have been jumping up and down with joy!  (Which would have also incidentally burned an extra calorie or two had I literally jumped up and down!). It shows how skewed our minds really get!!!  

I stumbled across an old picture of me this weekend. Part of me feels sad that I let this go!  But part of me is super motivated to get it back!!!!

My eating was about what I expected this weekend.  I was higher than my projected range.  I’m ok with this. I didn’t binge eat.  I didn’t overeat.  I didn’t go crazy with desserts.  I just had higher calorie foods...and I knew I was doing it when it happened.  It was a conscious decision.  I am not in this to live a life of total deprivation...I’m in this to live a life of health and balance.  That means that some days could be considered a failure ..but that’s ok!   I’m giving myself permission to have those days of ‘failure’.    How and I rebounding?  My lunch is packed for work today...an salad and some fruit!   Since I indulged this past weekend, no snacks after work this upcoming week!   It’s a trade off....a balancing act!

So more good news?    On Saturday we did our errands early and headed to a local park so that Jason could fly his drone before the snow hit..  Instead of standing there immobile, I took the opportunity to walk around the field that he was standing in!  It wasn’t a whole lot, but 1.5 miles is better than none!!!!!    Even more?   On Sunday we headed out in the snow and walked 3.5 miles!  (Hard miles in a couple inches of snow!)

I am happy with my weekend.  I’m ready to face this upcoming week of healthy living!  I’m a bit stressed about some changes at work and a new activity that I will be embarking upon today. (Stressed enough and nervous enough that I kept dreaming and waking up about it.).  I’m not going to eat my stress though!!!!!!   I w got this!   Here comes Healthy Maryfran!!!

Friday fun: tired but excited

The end has come. It is Friday. I have finally reached the last day of work before my vacation starts! The end of my long wait has come. It’s been quite a while since I took an extended period of time off for vacation. (I am talking like more than two years…maybe three) this upcoming vacation is long overdue. To say I’m excited is an understatement.

Before I roll into vacation, I need to wrap up this week. (And get my last day of work done.). So let’s get on with it.

Highlights of the week

I work my normal schedule every day this week, and I stay busy every evening with working Through my list of things that needed to be done before vacation. What kind of things? We needed to clean out the car and his work van, (the  work van so that if his boss needs it, his personal stuff was out of it) laundry, packing, organizing… Etc. I am a list maker and us started gathering things as early as Monday night. It made for a busy week, But will pay off tonight and tomorrow morning when we just have last minute things to do versus running around like chickens with our heads cut off trying to pack everything at once.

Eating for the week

I went off target this week.I want to say I did really bad. I kept my calories right around  1600 to 1800 calcal each day. It could have been a lot worse. But, it could have been a lot better. I don’t know what happened, one night I ate dinner and found myself ravenous before bed. One day I found myself exceedingly hungry at work. I did not binge on any of those occasions but I did indulge.

Weigh in  results for the week

The indulgence from my hunger...well I maintained at least!

Failure of the week

This weeks failure actually pertains to commenting on other people‘s blogs and replying to comments on my blog post. About a week ago I became unable to post any comments or replies using my iPhone. It doesn’t work on my iPad either. I can post on my computer and I did a test, and using Jason’s  phone and it worked just fine. I am frustrated beyond belief. I comment almost solely using my iPhone or iPad and have for years.  I do a lot of my reading and posting at times where I find myself having a few minutes, but not enough time to go get a computer or be near my computer.  Have I mentioned how frustrated I have been? I think I may have fixed it!!! (By downloading a different web browser on my phone...). But any other suggestions would be appreciated!

Vacation

I have had lots of deep thoughts this past week.  Concepts and ideas  hit me in regards to weight loss and my healthy lifestyle that I am trying to create. There have been way too many for one post… They are written (for the most part) and will be posted while I’m on vacation. So stay tuned for my thoughts on addiction, sacrifices and One or two other thoughts that are swirling around in my head.

We have a fun vacation planned. We are spending some time at the beach. We are spending some time in the mountains. We have hikes and bike rides planned. On the agenda is a trip to Field  of Screams. And we plan on getting some relaxation in. The hotels are booked so I know for sure where we are going… The rest will happen as it’s meant to happen.

I know that there will be indulgences in terms of food. I also know that if history is any indication that the trip to the beach will result in one of two things… Maybe both.  There should be lots of walking and/ or lots of miles on the bicycle.

Of course there will be a recap post when I return. Until then…

Friday review

Happy Friday!   I am so thankful that this hotter than blue blazes week is just about done!   Especially since the weather forecast is calling for a break in the heat and humidity.  The week was rather lackluster in most ways that count.  Nothing exciting or earth shattering to discuss.  

Victory of the week:

About a week or so ago, I decided to go totally without sweets for a few weeks to see what would happen.  I don’t plan on doing it forever...I do plan on going back to the random every once in a while indulgence...because that is a more sustainable lifestyle for me.  But hey...a few weeks sounds doable. 

I have held absolutely firm on this.  One evening I was having a banana with peanut butter and I was so ready to drop some chocolate syrup on top.  The syrup was in my hand when I realized that the chocolate would take my healthy evening snack into the realm of ‘decadent sweet treat’.  I put the syrup back.   The hardest evening was the night that I made a batch of edible cookie dough for Jason!  I wanted to cave!  I wanted to sneak a little bite!  I struggled to not lick the beater from the mixer or the spoon.   But I resisted!   I can tell you though...that just may be the treat I break my self imposed sweet treat fast with when my pre-determined time frame is over!!!

No matter what the scales say...loss, gain or maintain...I will refrain and make my goal of two complete weeks without a sweet treat!  (It actually is longer but I didn’t start paying attention and make my official vow until last Friday)

So a victory!  A huge victory over my addictions!  

Struggles of the week:

The heat!  The heat made riding our bikes pretty much non-existent!   It made walking outside on my lunch break and my 15 minute breaks absolutely miserable.  It just sucked the life out of me (us).

Eating:

My calorie count was spot on all week long!  (With the exception of last Friday...we order pizza and wings...it’s my cheat meal!!!)

My carbs were a bit more than normal, I felt. But according to the macros workup in myfitnesspal, I was under goal most days on my carbs.

Weight:

So the big question, how is my weight?   As I mentioned previously, I gave up my occasional sweet treats, so I was excited to see my weight drop! Well. All week long I maintained and saw no drop!  

My week wasn’t a bust!  There were some definite good parts and victories!  Hopefully the cooler weather  that is forecasted will help us get back out on our bikes!  And maybe...just maybe, the weight on the scales  will finally really start to consistently show my weight loss efforts!

Feeling stronger everyday

I saw this the other day and little did I know that it was going to have such a profound impact on my mentality later this week. Yesterday I listened to my body and did no exercise.  I was starting to feel better but just still felt sluggish and run down.  I did however have to do some work in the kitchen.  Mainly, I had to make cookies for a workshop that our business is hosting on Saturday and I had to make Chocolate covered cherries (filled with cheesecake filling) for a co-workers going away party today (Friday).  I ate my food...and then I had a cookies worth of cookie dough and a baked cookie.  I then had a chocolate covered strawberry.   Yes, I went over my allotment of calories for my day.   Yes, I tracked!

I had planned on making a few kinds of cookies.  I however stopped baking midway through my baking marathon.  Why?   Because I knew that I had already consumed too much and that if I kept baking, I would consume more.  I KNEW I would.  There was no talking me out of it.  I KNEW it would happen.  So I stepped away from the kitchen.

I am at war with myself.  Part of me wants to scream that yesterday was a total failure.  I didn't manage to stay within my 1300 calorie goal.  HOWEVER, I was only slightly over 1500 calories.  I didn't blow it and eat 3000 or 4000 calories.  I went over by 200 calories.  Which is still a respectable calorie count.  Was it what I am for?  No.   Was it terrible?  No.    So I am going to count yesterday as a victory.  It could have been MUCH MUCH worse....but I kept my eating in line to lose (just not at the rate that I normally do).  Meanwhile, I learn from my mistakes.  :-)  That is what is making me stronger!

Today...potluck at work.  GRRR   I'm really going to do my best to keep this under control today!!!  I don't know what dinner holds, so I can't even say I've got 'such and such amount of calories."   So I am being tested and I WILL SUCCEED!

Epiphany (isn't that just such a fun word???)

Yesterday I had an epiphany. It's not willpower so much as just total focus and planning. If I'm prepared focused and ready I can plan and think about eventualities.  This happened last night and it felt good to not just go crazy. I left zumba and I was HUNGRY.  I had to swing by a grocery store.  The last half of Zumba I DREAMED about just picking up a deli sandwich and chowing down on it during the drive home.  I got to the store and I looked at the pre-packaged deli sandwiches.  500 calories for one sandwich. (ok 490 but I thought it would be easier to round up...my bad)  I had the calories in my budget for that sandwich (even without touching my zumba earned calories) but I knew that the sandwich would not be enough.  I thought about adding a prepackaged salad for 170 calories (so tempted to round up to 200...lol) but then I was like, NO, I have food at home.  I walked away.  But I knew that the process of making my planned dinner (grilled cheese and tomato soup) would be problematic because I was so hungry, it would be so tempting to eat a piece of buttered bread, extra cheese, a nibble of that raspberry cobbler.  In fact, it would be tempting to just eat the rest of the cobbler (about 3-4 servings) in lieu of dinner (OK who am I fooling.....WITH dinner).  So knowing that I was about out of Sargento Colby Jack cheese sticks, I purchased another pack at the store.  I got in the car and had one on way home.  It curbed the hunger and allowed me to effectively make dinner without gnawing the cabinet doors off the wall!  I actually had planned in my calories yesterday to allow for a piece of cobbler.  I was full after dinner and didn't bother with it!   THAT is just me listening to my body.

My knee made it through zumba. It was stiff and sore and some songs about brought me to my knees with pain. But I made it through and honestly, at the end it felt more limber and loose and better. So I am thinking it is a seized muscle (happened to a muscle in my back a few years ago). I went home and put the heating pad on it trying to keep it limber (if possible).


I have a great friend.  I met her during weight watchers meetings a few years back.She was there when I reached goal and when I made lifetime.  She's been there encouraging me to not give up as I've regained....she's been a motivator for me to try get this weight off! She is awesome.  She has listened and helped me come up with numerous ideas to try during this lifelong journey that I've embarked upon.  (weight wise and personal wise......LUV ya Sherry!) She struggles like the rest of us.   I've mentioned Sherry quite a bit on my blog (maybe not by name all the time, but she's been around).  She just started a blog.  Check her out (PS it's her birthday so she deserves a shout out just for that!!!)   OK, in case you missed one of those three links to her blog....  http://twogirlsmama.wordpress.com/   :-) 

Ok, I actively decided to take Saturday as a 'day of rest' and not weigh and just eat normally. That turned into two days. Holy Hell. Last night for dinner I had frozen yogurt and doritos. (WTF?....but it was yummy).


My weight today..... up!   In defense....the monthly scourge...the ever reoccuring monthly ick is upon me. (which affects my weight) andI did also drink near next to nothing yesterday. But Those are excuses (they may be valid) but I'm just going to say my eating did it and refocus. GRRRRRR

So my victories for the weekened?  Well I can say that I had that frozen yogurt and the doritos and I stopped there.  But my major victory?  We went to breakfast on Sunday morning.  I wanted pancakes and also home fries.  My normal behavior would have been to order a stack of pancakes and the side of home fries.  I ordered a SINGLE pancake and the home fries.  And I felt fantastic.  I was in control and I wasn't stuffed!  That is a true victory!

Rode my bike 21 miles on Saturday afternoon.  The last two miles pert near killed me.  OK, I wasn't near death....but I just wanted that ride to be over during those last two miles.  I made it back to the car perfectly safe and sound.  I was happy becuase my foot doesn't hurt when I ride.  My foot really is only bothered by activities that have any kind of impact.  I can do light walking....for a short period of time.  Any length of walking and the repetative impact gets it to aching.  Zumba...well, we don't talk about what that makes my foot feel like....more on zumba later....  So I made it to my car.  I was tired but I felt good.  I lifted my bike up to the top of my car.  I thought the bike was seated in the mount so that I could let go.  I was wrong. The bike started to fall over on top of me.  I did what anyone would naturally do.  I reached up to grab it and to protect my body from the falling bike.  As best I can tell.....my pinky was pushed back against the top side of my hand...(very unnatural position, I garauntee you).  So my pinky is all swollen and I can barely move it.  And when I do move it pain shoots through my hand and up my arm.  JOYOUS.   I think it's a bit better today....so hopefully it will heal on it's own.

Zumba....I know that my foot aches from the pounding impact.  I know that whatever this injury to my foot is, is not helped by Zumba.  But I so don't want to give it up.  Zumba to me is a release. It has somehow morphed into something more than just an hour of exercise.  It's almost like I need it for my 'mental well being' or something.   That is why I go...even though i know that my foot will ache during and afterward. 

I've tried to take a few weeks off and not do the impact....but it just doesn't seem to help.  SOOOOO  After my vacation, I'm goign to go to the doctor.  (not goign before...hell if he's putting me on crutches before my vacation!)

A bad day turns out to be not too bad

I sat here tonight all down in the dumps because I thought I had done so badly. I ate my meals and afterwards I just HAD to go to the cafeteria at work and I ended up buying a piece of cake and three cookies. I thought I had ruined my daily totals. So, it was with fear and trepidation that I entered my food intake into the nutrition log. I was very shocked to see that even with those extra foods I was still in my target calories..... I don't think I should do that every day. But at least I moderated my food intake.