HI HO HI HO It's off to work I go

My eating has been totally spot on the last few days.  I feel so proud of myself.  It really is crazy that the 'high' I get from that sense of pride.  It is a feeling that is so much more long lasting and pleasant than the high I get from eating.  The high I get from eating is a fleeting feeling...this empowering prideful high totally feels me with a sense of happiness.  It just feels good to be in control!   And no, being spot on does not mean that I am not eating or just eating one thing.  I'm eating nice quantities of food.  It's amazing that when you are choosing healthy options that you can eat a decent quantity.   It reminds me of the book that used to be a big hit..'this or that'. You see, I can have one serving of chips for 140 calories (give or take) OR I could have a serving of applesauce, grapes AND a string cheese for roughly the same amount of calories.  I'm not saying that I won't have the chips...some days are just 'chip days'....but if I'm choosing the correct foods, I don't have to eat 'less'.

And just to prove that I'm still eating normally and not depriving myself...YET still staying in the correct zone of calories..... why yes, that is the biggest loser on the tv,...and why yes, I have cats that LOVE ice cream!  

Ethel (right) and Desi (left) both eyeball my ice cream

On Monday the bank was closed so I was off work. Hip hip hurray!   Todd didn't have to work until 2, so we headed up to town,  What did we do?  Why we went to the gym!  I spent a half hour on the treadmill running.  I then moved to the upright bike for thirty minutes on a hill climber program.  I was sweaty but feeling great when I was done. 

From the gym, Todd and I headed out to lunch.  We went to a small eatery called Cafe Del Sol.  I got a turkey wrap (no cheese, the calorie buster is the flavored mayo on the sandwich....but OHHH so worth it) and the field greens with a balsamic vinaigrette instead of their homemade chips.    Not bad in terms of calories.   I was happy with my choices.  I felt satisfied with the food I ate and proud of myself.  

After a quick trip to the store, we went home and Todd almost immediately left for work.  I sat down and did some work on my computer, worked on some laundry and did some things around the house.  I contemplated working on some scrapbook stuff, but when I looked at the clock I realized that by the time I got it set up I would be heading out the door.  

Where would I be heading???  Well Monday night is my normal zumba night.  Since I was home and feeling so awesome, I decided that if one hour of zumba sounded fun than two hours would send me into total rapture.  Yes, I headed out to a double session of zumba. I have fun at zumba, I wasn't thinking about the exercise...I was just thinking about the fun and camaraderie that the extra hour would give me!!!

The first hour of class I was on fire!!  I had a pep in my step and I was pushing myself hard.   I was feeling GOOD.  The fifteen minute break came and I stopped moving to talk to my friends and get some extra water before starting round two.  (Technically round three of exercise for the day.)  I don't know if  if was just that my legs were about shot by then or if it was that minimal 15 minute break but the second hour was ROUGH.  The natural pep had totally disappeared from my step.  I had to mentally tell myself to jump and move.  I had to make a concerted effort to push myself.  Even then, I allowed my body to work at the level that I was comfortable with, afterall, I was working on three plus hours of exercise for the day.  I was just having fun.    

I came home from zumba, had dinner and took a shower.   Some nights after zumba (or a really hard workout) I get home and I am totally freezing.....shivering cold.  I stayed in the living room for a few minutes but then decided that I was just COLD.  I decided to go to bed and read!   I curled up under my blankets, petting my cats (they took turns visiting me) and read for a bit.  By the time Todd got home, I was sound asleep!

Today was the big day of the projected snow.  I woke up and it was just starting to fall. I am supposed to be at work until 10.  I know for a fact that we are open for business, so I'll be heading out the door for work in a bit.  I'm only hoping that they realize that the snow is coming down steadily and that it is only going to get worse and thusly send us home at a decent hour.  Like noon....(the news is saying get out in the morning if you MUST go out, but be home by noon). .....however, I have my serious doubts as to getting released early today....

What a busy day yesterday was! I woke up eary and got my breakfast and started Todd's coffee. By the time he woke up the coffee was ready and I was raring to go. I got two loads of line out on the line by 7:30 or so and I was out digging in the dirt. I dug up some more beds (I had gone outside on Tuesday evening and dug up a few beds), seeded a few areas, I planted strawberry roots, I mulched the flower beds (this involves shovelling the mulch from the pile to the wheelbarrow and then again onto the beds), I planted some flowers, I raked and picked the sod out of the new beds that I had dug and Todd had tilled. I was just a busy beaver. I did stop working outside long enough to make lunch for us! But all in all, I worked non-stop for hours on end! When it came time to exercise, I just couldn't do it!

No matter though.....I was down to 199 pounds this morning. (the last few days I've been hovering above 200....I'm a little worried about tomorrow though)

Today I got up stiff as a board. And sore!!! Am I ever sore! I didn't let it deter me. I got on the exercise bike and rode away. I then made a cake (cupcakes actually) for a co-worker...we are celebrating his birthday tomorrow. (he likes plain cake...so I'm doing yellow cake with chocolate icing...nothing fancy...no decorations..nada. Well, I do have some candles to put on it). Soooo my problem? Cake batter. I had some! I am very proud to say that I immediately went to the computer and adjusted my food for the day. I took out some extra things I had thrown in for fun...and swapped out some higher calorie items for some lower calorie items. Stuff like that. ANd in that way, I brought my calorie count back to where I want it to be!

I was emailing back and forth with a friend this morning and we were talking about the pride that one feels when eating correctly. It's a sense of pride and accomplishment to know that one ate correctly and actually conquered the pull of food! This is nothing new. But then I started to think about the fact that this sense of accomplishment is just phenominal and I walk on air and feel so good about myself...and it lasts for a while. This is in comparison to that high or good feeling that I get from eating food. I freely admit that I eat some foods simply because that first bite or two is just soooo good and that it gives me a rush...a high. What high lasts the longest? What high makes me feel the best? Well most definitely the high and satisfaction that I get from making wise choices and being on top of this addiction. The high that the pride infuses in my body is much stronger and more lasting than any food high!

The problem???? Remembering that the high of my pride is a stronger more powerful high than anything that food can give!

Looking at the big picture

I can proudly say that I've lost 15.6 pounds since I started weight watchers. That in itself is pretty exciting. But Sallie, my boss was talking the other day and she was like, "MaryFran, you really need to use the TOTAL number of pounds that you hvae lost." I started thinking about it. Yes, the 15.6 is nice to announce. BUt yes, to date, I've lost 68 pounds from my very highest weight! That is pretty darn amazing! That makes me step back and say..."woah, I've actually accomplished something that I can be REALLY proud of!"