All things happy.....except for one

Well......I had a few victories today.

The first is kinda not a victory but kinda a victory.   I have a few pairs of pants...in varying sizes.  What size am I?   I have some 18's that are falling off of me (who knows if the zipper works anymore, I don't unzip them but rather just pull them off)  but I also have 18's that are skin tight.  I have 16 womens that fit perfectly.  Really?   So I decided that after work I was going to hit up the outlets.  I was looking for a pair of water repelling/quick dry pants to wear whilst hiking. (I am SOO tired of being wet while I'm hiking!)   I first went into Eddie Bauer.   I tried some on and I liked them...but I wanted to hit up another store or two...specifically Columbia Sportswear.   I ended up buying the ones at Eddie Bauer.  They were a bit pricier than the Columbia ones that I tried on...but they fit me better and had more features.   So what in the world is the victory?   They are tight, but I can TOTALLY fit into the 16's.   Weeee.    Moving along.  (and yes, I know....if I lose 'too' much weight the pants I bought today will be too big and baggy to really wear...I bought them as tight as I felt comfortable with wearing!)

But the even bigger victory?   Today was the Chinese New Year.  Big whoop right??   Nope...they decided to order Chinese for lunch.  They typically order from one place.....and I don't like that place.  But NO...today they ordered from the place that I actually LOVE.   I had my lunch packed and I was ok with the food I had with me to eat.  But that place is SOOO good and I haven't had it in a long time.  I wrote my order down on the order sheet and went to count my money to give to the gal that was going to pick up our food.  Yup....I caved.   But then I started thinking about money.  I am trying to put money aside......and even more importantly....I didn't want to kill my calorie count for today.   SOOOOOOO...I went over and scratched my order off the list.

Yes, I did!

Lets see if this helps me show a bit of a loss for this weeks official weigh in!  One can hope!

So my ankle has been bothering me a bit more today.  This is FRUSTRATING.  I do have it wrapped today...so maybe that will help matters a bit!!!!   Frustrating is all I can say about it though!

Mud bogging

Well here we are, the weekend is rolling to a close.  Again.    Seriously, this really needs to stop happening!  At least I can say that I had a wonderful weekend!  How could it NOT be fabulous....I got to see friends....I got to spend a lot of time with Jason...and I got some hiking in!!!    Lets start with the friends........(not that Jason isn't a friend...but he's a bit more than a friend ha ha ha)

On Saturday morning I had the opportunity to meet up with some friends (gals that I used to work with).  I've got 19-20 years on these girls but we had a wonderful time!    We laughed.  We covered some important topics of conversation (Someone needs to give these girls some advice!!!  ha ha ha), we had breakfast together  and we hit up some stores and did a bit of shopping!   It was just what the doctor ordered and it's amazing how things like this works.  The one gal showed up and we could see that she was just not herself.   By the end of the first hour we could see that the conversation and girl talk had helped her. That's what friends are for! We did shop a little so I got some walking in at the mall....not enough to really count though, even though I'm really tempted to do so!!!!  See, if I do that, I could possibly say that I counter acted the Cinnamon Supreme Sweet and Stuffed Pancakes.  Seriously, I am embarrassed to say that I ordered those things!   They were tasty...but all sweet and totally NOT healthy!   I'm not even going to write down the calorie count....isn't it enough that I put the link in there??  ha ha ha.    The only good thing?  I was soooo full and just not at all hungry the rest of the day that I ate some cheese, some strawberries and a hard pretzel in the evening and I was not hungry the rest of the day.  And yes...I heeded the voices that my body was saying...and that was 'For heavens sake, please don't eat!'

Yeah yeah yeah....it is obvious in the picture, I was drinking diet soda.....I know, it SHOULD have been water!!!!

Jason and I got to spend a fair amount of time together this weekend.  Lots of time relaxing together in nice warm and relaxing places where we could have long conversations.  But we were also able to get two hikes in.

The first hike was at the Martins Mill Bridge and around the park.  We stayed off the hilly trails and walked the road from the bridge down to the actual park area and circled that snow covered area and then went back to the bridge.  We did that loop a few times until the wind knocked us for a loop and we were too cold to continue.  (ok, until we decided to retreat to the car and the warmth.....I"m sure we could have continued if we had wanted to...but 2.56 miles isn't bad!  It wasn't a bad walk...there were areas that were a bit snow but nothing too intense.




We also decided to hike at Balls Bluff Battlefield/Regional park.     Last weekend was the event of the Snow hike...this weekend we had another snow hike but I think I will refer to it as Mud Bogging instead!   The trails there were a LOT more intense.  Yes, there was a lot more ascents and decents on the trail.  But it was the snow that made those up hill intense....snow is slippery...and going up and down a trail on slippery snow is interesting to say the least. (especially the parts of the trail that were on the edge of a drop off!)  The snow was actually NOT the worst part.  The worst part....when we were NOT climbing up or descending a hill, we were walking on the flat riverbank.  That sounds peaceful and serene doesn't it?   Yeah....not when that said river was at flood stage a few days ago.    Walking through a couple inches of mud is.....interesting, fun and DIFFICULT!  Totally different muscles than normal hiking and different muscles than snow hills.   It was  a GREAT workout!     I didn't get any pictures from the trail...but I did get a few pictures of the National Cemetery that is housed in this park and the sight of a Civil War Battle.  This is one of the smallest National Cemeteries in the United States.  It has 25 graves and there are 54 men buried here, all of them unknown but one.  Sobering to think that 53 families (so many more in the Civil war overall I know)  lost sons who were buried with an unknown gravemarker.  All in all.....3.68 miles at Balls Bluff Park!

So a good weekend with some activity

So....it's 7:30.  I'm home.  Showered up (I wasn't exactly cold but I wasn't exactly warm....and I wasn't exactly muddy but I wasn't exactly clean!) and sitting here watching tv.  Nope....not watching the Super Bowl...does that make me un-American?????

Check In

Be careful what you wish for. In yesterdays post I talked about wanting to break the bad habit of getting home at 8 or 9 and crawling right into bed.   I broke that habit.   I was out with Jason last night and while I was out I received a message that some artwork was waiting for me.  I am designing a new album cover for a guy.  That means that when I got home I had a few hours of work...because I had NOTHING.  I was starting from scratch.    I actually made it to bed about midnight.  I sent the ideas to the client, sent him a text to let him to know to look and went to bed. He was working an overnight shift at his job...so by the time I woke up at 5:30 he had revisions in my email box.  I worked from 5:30 until 7:30, showered and headed to the store before work.   By the time I got to work there were some more revisions.  This guy moves FAST.  (He has told me not to worry about getting things done immediately...but he is appreciative that I am moving this way)  The last CD I did I would make revisions and not hear anything back for DAYS...weeks even.

So I guess circumstances helped me break that habit last night.  Who knows what will help me tonight.   Although I should be home after work tonight so I won't be getting home so close to bedtime making the bed more tempting!  

That said....I skipped my morning run as I was working on this project. (hey, I just put brakes and rotors on my car....the income from this project will help immensely in covering that repair!)

My eating last night...well not the greatest.    Today thus far...spot on!!!!! 

Weekly Weigh In

Well, today was my official weigh in.   232.4  So I am down a bit from last week.   Precious little....but I'll take it.  One week left of this Love Bites Challenge.  Right now I am showing down 1.6 pounds in this challenge (I was 234 at the beginning of this/end of the last challenge).  That's better than nothing and WAY better than a gain.

  There is NO WAY that I will make my goal of 220.0 by next Wednesday.  I'm OK with that.  I'm not HAPPY with myself, but I'm ok with it.   I'm thinking that it would be a victory if I can somehow pull out a 230.0 for this weigh in...giving me a 4 pound loss...and 2.4 pounds in this next week (which is doable.)  Either way...I'm fine with whatever happens this week as long as I actually work toward the goal!

Yesterday I went to the gym and ran just shy of 3 miles.  My foot didn't fair well on that run.  In fairness, it was bothering me before I began.  I know that after the snow hike on Sunday that it was tender, so I'm assuming that the icky feeling after the run yesterday was because of that.    Honestly, the snowy hike is motivating me.   I as pleasantly surprised to realize that yes I was moving my body and it was a workout but I was not sore and achy from using the muscles.  Yay me!  I was with an avid hiker and ended up feeling better when it was over.  (go figure)   So in terms of physical wellness, I know that my running and zumba (we won't even talk about me losing that....but I do have to hit up a class at the gym soon!) have kept me in somewhat decent shape.  I don't want to lose that and would actually prefer to build upon that.  But once again, it comes down to gear.   I was wearing jeans to hike in the snow....not the wisest hiking clothing.  My pants were soaked up to my thighs.  My companion was wearing hiking water resistant/quick drying pants and he was dry as all get out.  Guess I need to invest in something similar for use in hiking if I plan on doing it much more.  (I also have had some similar issues with sweat...jeans just soak up the sweat and become nasty  and wet!)   And that is the crux of the matter.  They are not cheap.....and  I hate to spend the money on pants that I HOPE to have shrunk out of within a few months!   Yes....we talked about it on Sunday and I will buy them on the tight side so that I can just have a baggy pair that is still usable.  But still.....I'm on the cusp of being able to buy these pants at a 'regular store'.....it would be NICE to be able to buy them at a 'regular' store and maybe to be able to not have to replace them in a few months. (Although that will make some person that shops at my local goodwill a happy camper when I drop off a bag of clothes that are too big for me!!!)    Talk about motivation?

I was able to maintain a good balance in my eating yesterday.  I was proud of myself.  I knew that I would be having cake and ice cream last night to celebrate my niece and nephews birthdays so I ate accordingly throughout the day.  And guess what? I kept my calories not exactly spot on...but really close!   One day of success under my belt.  Next day coming up!    I will work to build upon this success!!!

Meanwhile, I have to break a really bad habit.   What is that bad habit?  Last night I got home at 8:30 and instead of settling in and actually DOING something; I have instead put on my pajamas and headed to bed.  I don't go to sleep immediately....I lay in bed and read or play mindless games on my ipad.   I think part of it is because it's cold outside (cool in the basement where I reside) and it just makes more sense to curl up under the blankets and get toasty warm there versus settle in on the chair or couch...get warm there and then have to move to the cold bed.   But it's KILLING my time.   What could I be doing?   Anything really.   I could be playing the piano, surfing the internet, writing, watching tv, something productive!!!!   I could be exercising!   I have a ton of videos!  

We shall see!!!!!!!

Purchased Peace

I was reading a blog post about intuitive eatingthe other day.   The author was talking about the correlation between intuitive eating and weight loss and wanting to make peace with food.  I wrote my response to her post...a really convoluted affair for sure.  I know that intuitive eating works for some people.  I also know that intuitive eating is the goal that I want to be at when I reach my goal weight.  I will say that for me intuitive eating HAS to go hand in hand with some kind of check and balance system in place. (the numbers on the scales....a pair of skinny jeans that HAVE to fit otherwise there becomes a full out panic attack, etc) . 

For me intuitive eating and losing weight doesn't go hand in hand at this time.  I'm ok with that.  I'm still overweight so obviously there is something that isn't clicking in the brain and body.   This is fine with me.

But peace with my food.  Wow...there is the kicker.  I've often talked on my blog about missing the innocence of eating.  The innocence of not worrying about calories, fat, carbs or any number of other things.    And that is when I realized that I CAN have peace with my food.    I simply have to Purchase Peace!  

How do you purchase peace?    For me I purchase peace by earning the food through exercise.   Oh yes, my hike through deep snow the other day...that purchased me peace with what I chose to eat for dinner!   A good run in the morning gives me peace with my food for the day.   (I can still go way off track and ruin that peace...but I'm just  generally speaking here!)

My brother rides his bike...A LOT (crazy insane amounts of miles) and I've heard him on more than one occasion say "I can eat whatever I want because I rode 50, 60 or whatever miles today"   It's not that he is overindulging, he earned those calories.....he earned the peace.  The peace was purchased via those miles on his bike!

As soon as I read that first post about intuitive eating and peace my mind was formulating this post.  But first I wanted to catch up with my other blogs.  And I came upon Shelley's blog and it was just more 'peace'

She was writing an update on how she was doing with making better choices which was a goal that she had made for this year.  I read along and then came to a paragraph about the snacks and tasty treats at a bakery that they visit after running and how she doesn't count those tasty morsels when she is talking about making better choices....and she said this..  "those are bonus treats that come with running"    Ohhhhhh, so can I just go out on a limb and say that she "purchased peace" with a nice run?????

Yes, purchased peace is awesome...and let me tell you.  The food that you eat when you 'purchase the peace' tastes FANTASTIC!

I did make it to the gym this morning...and I 'purchased a bit of peace' with a few miles of running.   I will still have to be careful today, but if I am, I can enjoy ice cream and cake tonight to help celebrate my niece and nephews birthday!!!

I faced the scales this morning....almost the same as last week...and almost the same as right around Christmas...the beginning of the love bites challenge.  Not what I wanted but at least no gain!   I've got one week to show at least a teensy weensie little loss for the challenge!!

Trust your gear

Well, what do I say?    January was a trial run?????

I had grand plans for my Love Bites self challenge has not gone as planned.  Not at all.   In fairness, I haven't weighed myself since last Wednesday, but I can honestly say that I have NOT eaten right.  Ohhhhh  some days were not THAT bad.  Some days were positively horrible with french fries, tator tots, and all sorts of other fattening (but sadly tasty) foods.  Oh and there may have been a donut or two involved in the mix.  Yeah, I just fell off the rails!   

I have a week and two days until the Love Bites challenge is over.   My goal at this point is to try to hang onto the weight that I was at the end of the Saving Christmas Challenge.  My weight last week was right in that range...so hopefully it will be a simple maintain.  

What does that mean for me?  

I'm already gearing up for the Foolish Fat Against Fat challenge.    On February 10th, the last weigh in before Valentines day will start this next challenge.  7 weeks until April Fools.  The Triple F challenge.  I blew this last challenge but I'm soooo planning on rocking this one!  7 pounds...14 pounds is what I'm thinking!!!!

I had a busy and fun weekend.  I sadly had to work on Saturday morning, but was treated to a gorgeous sky on the way to work!

Jason and I spent some time in Old Town Winchester (Virginia) this weekend.

We did some hiking at the Third Winchester Battlefield Park.   That was interesting as in some areas we were walking on slick ever shifting slush and at at other points we were walking in 1-2 feet of snow.  It was definitely a workout!!!!  

It is also crazy to be hiking in 1-2 feet of snow and be stripping off clothes because you are hot.....I started the hike with a tee shirt, sweatshirt and a light jacket.  By the first mile or so I had taken off the jacket...and by the end of the hike I was down to the tee shirt.  Nope, definitely wasn't going to let myself get sweaty!   That is miserable in cooler weather!!!!   And yes, I was more successful than a few weeks ago when we had been out hiking  and it was either REALLY cold or just cool.  No worries....as soon as I got back to the car, I popped my sweatshirt back on to avoid getting chilled as my body temperature adjusted back to normal. I will also say that I gave my newest pair of hiking boots an amazing test and they passed with flying colors.  What test was that?  Well, I've had them out a few times as we have been hiking...and they have been through some muddy areas and some water puddles.   But that was more short periods of being dipped into wetness.  We hiked a few miles (my tracker showed about 4 miles) and for 90% of that time, my boots  were totally encased in snow.  My feet were dry and toasty the whole time!  (shows the beauty of good boots and wool socks!).  My pants.....well, I was wearing jeans which are notoriously horrible for hiking and they were a flared leg....and long.  They were wet at the bottom almost immediately and they just wicked the moisture upward the whole hike so that even though I had never been in snow up to my thighs, the jeans were wet above the knees.  We laughed that if we had hiked longer that they would have been wet the whole way to my waist!!!   (Yup, just add the parking lot at the trailhead for the Third Winchester as ANOTHER place that I've changed my clothes in a relatively public place...hahaha)  

We slowly made our way back home and ended up stopping at a few places just killing time and being together for longer!  

It was a good weekend.....and the icing on the cake?  We were active and it felt GOOD to get outside in the sunshine and surprising warmth!

No Brainer

It was dark.  It was cold.   There was frost on my windshield.  It was early!  

I laid in bed going back and forth.  Go to the gym?  Stay home in my comfy cozy bed?  Guilt over signing up for a more closer albeit expensive ($10 more a month...plus the start up fee) gym pulled me from my bed.   Yes, I went to the gym this morning.

I wasn't there any great length of time.  I went to use the treadmill.  I went to put in a few miles on my legs.  I didn't have grand plans to push it really far or hard.  I want to ease back into running.   By about mile two, my foot was starting to make it's presence known....not really painful, just aware.  I'm going to look at that as a victory as a few weeks ago I could only make it through the first mile before I became aware of my foot issue!

Don't cheer too much.  It was a brutal run.  It was more a run a half mile and then walk a half mile.  Treadmill running is for the pits and I always struggle to keep running the whole time!  Regardless of the walk run dealio, I am happy with what I did.

As I was doing my thing on the treadmill at the crack of dawn this morning, I had the thought.    I want to lose this weight.  I want it down to the core of my being.  Yet I struggled to get to the gym.   Really?   What do I expect?   Do I expect the weight to melt off  if I take a steamy hot shower?   Do I expect the weight to disappear while I'm sleeping?   Do I expect to lose weight while I'm shoveling movie theater popcorn that is smothered in butter into my mouth?    WHY?   Why do I insist on these bad habits and fight the good habits?   I know they are NOT what I need to be doing to get to my goals.....yet I resist!  

Seems kind of dumb to me!

I can't expect different results if I don't change my habits!  So the question really comes into play.....what is more important to me?  The results or the stupid habits that are slowly killing me?

Lets break this down......

The stupid habits....

** laying in bed and doing nothing versus going to the gym

**eating fattening food that tastes good 

Results.......

**being able to run without stopping

**cool clothes

**thin svelte body (or as thin as it's going to be)

**being able to hike, ride roller coasters, go sky diving, or whatever my heart desires without the fears and constraints of being overweight....the sky is the limit, not my weight

**not feeling sick, stuffed and bloated from the foods I eat

Seems such a no brainer to me!

Today is a new day!!!!!!  

Singleminded

I made a decision that was a rough one for me.  A few months ago I joined Planet Fitness.  It seemed a good plan.  I thought I would have time before I went to work in the mornings...even if I decided to go to the gym and then go home to get ready.  I had my zumba class with Anita that I was paying for...so the lower cost was a good deal and I wasn't concerned about exercise classes because I had Anita.  I also had a neighbor/Aunt that was going to go with me. I went a few times...but it just has me criss-crossing back and forth across town(yeah, excuse) that just deters me in the morning when I have to be up and out the door by 5:30-6 at the latest in order to do the gym before work. (Have I mentioned how cold and dark it is at that hour???)   In the interim I lost my beloved Zumba class.  My Aunt has moved.  And Planet Fitness was just not working.  So on Wednesday when I left work, I headed there and cancelled my membership.   Within 24 hours I had secured a membership at Golds Gym.   I have been a member there on two different occasions.  I've never had a problem with Golds and have always cancelled the membership for other reasons that have nothing to do with my satisfaction with the gym.  This gym is about a mile from my house.  So that cuts 30 minutes out of the time needed to utilize the gym.  Awesome!  It is a bit more expensive...but with it being closer AND with the option to pick up a zumba class (and other classes), even if it isn't with my beloved Anita, I think I will be ok.

So I made that decision (even knowing that I would have to ante up the sign up fee and that would set me back a bit).  But I forgot to think about the odd noise my car had started intermittently making a day or two ago...I put it on my mental note to have it looked at.  Jason was in my car last night and heard it and was almost instantly convinced that my brakes were going bad (who knew there was such a thing as a "squealer tab' on brakes)  So bright and early this morning I was having my car checked (NO, I'm not messing with brakes...that's kinda necessary).  Yup, he had diagnosed the noise quite correctly.....so brake pads and rotors later and a nice bill......I'm done.  Isn't it fun being an adult??????

I recently read a book.  It was written by Keith Foskett and entitled Balancing on Blue: A Dromomaniac Hiking.  It is basically the story of a European who hikes the complete length of the Appalachian Trail.  It is a pretty good read.   Practical, insightful and just full of fun.  It is good enough that I am planning on reading his book chronicling his hike on the Pacific Crest Trail.   I would highly recommend the book for anyone that is interested in nature, health and just pushing themselves to the limit. (Of if you particularly liked Bill Bryson's book and subsequent movie "A Walk In the Woods" ....or Cheryl Strayed's book and subsequent movie "Wild")  This book is less of the 'bumbling hike that Bill Bryson attempted"  and a little less than the self discovery that Cheryl was looking for.  It is just a guy hiking, thinking, pondering and moving through a life that he doesn't quite understand unless he is lost in the woods!

What brought this book into the spotlight of my blog?   A passage in the book really stuck out at me!  This passage could easily be adjusted...take out 'hiking' and "trails' an instead insert 'weight loss' and 'Healthy lifestyles'  It is really the same!

"If you attempt a long distance hike, the chances are heavily stacked against you and there is a very real chance that you will fail. Most quit in the first month.  They were not as fit as they thought, new gear is chafing everywhere, red -raw blisters make walking excruciating or it's too cold, too hot, too dry or too wet, sometimes for days on end.  I always say push through that first month and if you come out on the other side, chances are you will be successful.  Above everything else, you have to be single minded and totally fixed on your goal to succeed.  If you are mentally strong, can persuade yourself that you're not in pain and can push another mile out, that your hunger and thirst are imaginary, that it really isn't the seventh straight day of being wet and the fact that you badly misjudged your food supply doesn't really matter, then you just may succeed."

Wow...isn't that an absolute parallel to weight loss? 

***The first month IS the hardest...and the time when people give up on weight loss efforts. (Think about the gym in January as compared to the gym in February).

*** We find out it isn't easy.  Our muscles will ache.  Our new 'equipment' isn't as cool and awesome.  

*** We have excuses....it's too hot, too dry, too wet  etc

*** Weight loss IS a study in being single minded in our efforts.  We have focus on it.  We have to say "who cares that I'm whatever....the end goal is out there!

***If we believe we can succeed...we can hike over 2000 miles over numerous mountains.....we can run a 5k, a 10k or even a half marathon....and we CAN lose weight!

A Bump in the Road

I am soooo not impressed with the numbers on the scales.  NOT impressed at all.  Tomorrows official weigh in is NOT looking good.  I'm up a pound or two.   It's infuriating.   But just making me dig my heels and in. I'm telling myself that I CAN do this and that I WILL do it!

Running outside is a DEFINITE no go right now.  Half of the sidewalks are not cleared around the area....when they are cleared it is usually a narrow path.  The roads are still mostly single lane.  And that is going to keep me grounded for a bit.   Yes, I have a membership at Planet Fitness...but I am struggling with the bitter cold and now the possible icy mornings.....Yeah, that's not a valid excuse!

The good news?  I have been tracking EVERYTHING!   I'm not way off on my calories (well except for the weekend) so not I need to sit back and focus on changing the 'type' of calories I'm eating.....beef up the fruits and veggies.....and cut down the carbohydrates.  Good bye bread and pasta.   WAAAAAHH

The other thing?  I'm going to pound the water for the next few days. Maybe some of this weight things is water retention related.  

Wow

What a weekend!  

I got off work at 1PM and did a few errands and a few things before hunkering down for the storm.  


The snow started about 3PM on Friday.  Once the snow started I headed outside and went on a walk with my niece and nephew.

We walked to Pangborn Park and checked out the pond (partially frozen over) before heading home.

It snowed steadily for about 30 hours.   30 hours and everyone in our neighborhood agrees that we got about 36 inches.  Yes, three feet of snow.  (we have a four foot chain link fence around our back yard and there is only about a foot visible...that's how I came up with how deep the snow is).

So what does three feet of snow mean?

First of all that list of things to do?   I rolled through that.  Lots of big projects that I have been putting off for a while got done.  Things like cleaning out and organizing my file cabinet.  

Secondly?   I shoveled.  A LOT.   I prescribe to the 'work throughout the storm on the shoveling'.   Who knows...but I feel that at least I'm staying even with the snow and not letting it get ahead of me too far.  So 7 hours of shoveling on Saturday.   I woke up Sunday and touched up the sidewalks and the area behind my car that I had been able to keep up with.  Then I attacked the piles of snow that the snow plows had pushed up against the cars. Hours of work....and EVERY TIME I would just be finishing it up, the plow would come through again and push more snow against the car.  (GRRRR living in town is the pits when it comes to snow removal).  Luckily, each time they came through the snow piles got smaller....but regardless, they had to be moved.    ROughly 6 hours of shoveling on Sunday.

So here is the crux of the matter.  I am SOOOOO sore.  My lower back is achy and my arms....oh my arms.  They ache.  Yes, I had to shovel snow...and carry it to the pile and after a while whip the snow up and to the top of the pile.  A pile that quickly grew to height over my feet.   (yup, living in town, the front yards are small and they filled up VERY quickly!)

Eating over the weekend?   I was HUNGRY.  I tracked my food and actually ate about 2000 calories on both Saturday and Sunday.  I did however put into myfitnesspal that I shoveled snow (and yes, I kept track of how long I was out there) and it says that I earned  a LOT of calories each day (an average of 3500 calories.)

I'm not expecting to lose weight.  The numbers say I SHOULD be losing....but I'm not expecting it.  My goal was to get through the weekend and get us shoveled out...without my parents having to shovel (hey...would you want your 73 year old dad shoveling?)

As for tomorrow.  The calories need to revert back to the 1200 calorie range and hopefully I will be back out and about and at work (we shall see how the roads are in the morning, I hear they are freezing up pretty nicely tonight!)

Pink sky in the morning.....

I forgot to take home my water jug last night at work...but not to be deterred...I grabbed some water from my stash of water  bottles of water today!!!!  

On track with eating too this far!   And yesterday I was thinking about food but realized I wasn't terribly hungry...so listened to my body and ended the day spot on with my calories!!!!

Pink sky in the morning, sailors warning!!!

Ready or not here it comes!!!  The snow-apocalypse 2016

Snow snow go away!!!

Lets talk about the life events first....I'll get to the healthy stuff at the end! (Ok, healthy stuff will be interspersed through the whole thing I guess because losing weight and trying to move to a healthy lifestyle IS part of life and has to be incorporated....)    

Snow......arrrggghhh!!!   I don't want this!  They are calling for a mega snow event in my area this weekend.  I do NOT want it!  Take it back!   Send it somewhere else!   

As we get closer they are predicting somewhere between 1 and 2 feet.

It's not that I mind being snowed in for a day or two.  I'm working on a to do list of things to occupy myself while I'm sequestered at my house. (Ultra important things like organizing my file cabinets!)   It is the fact that I am going to be stuck there and it ruins the chances of me doing what I WANT to be doing. First, I had to cancel and reschedule a breakfast date with two friends.  Yes, Saturday morning I was supposed to meet with two gals I used to work with and while we are meeting in my town, they each have a 30 -45  minute drive to get to my town (one is north of me and the other south...I'm smack dab in the middle)  We have already rescheduled the breakfast girl gossip/chat date, so while I'm disappointed that it's being cancelled; it is going to still happen, just a little delayed.    But that doesn't make me feel ok about this snow. OK OK OK, let me admit what the real problem is.... I probably won't get to see Jason this week because of the snow.  Hey, this is a HUGE deal to me...and to him (yes, he's talked about it too!).   Yes, we are to that point in our relationship where we don't like to go without seeing each other for too long.

We have talked...we live 4 miles apart.....but the midway point (one route) is right near a Dunkin Donuts (drat...more donuts) and a Burger King (double drat...that's bad too!)....wait...and a Chinese Restaurant (triple drat.....sodium city!)....and wow....a repeat of what I ate bad last weekend!!!!    So we have jokingly laughed about walking to the midway point.  (That is if he doesn't intentionally go stay with his parents and get snowed in there in order to help his parents clear the driveway and walks...which he has talked about doing.)   That would be good exercise....but not sure it is a valid option that we will actually utilize though...but we have actually vocalized and laughed about it.   Because seriously....a two mile walk in a foot or two of snow is reasonable right?????

Either way, I am trying to be positive about this pending blizzard. 

***Positive that it will be over as fast as possible. (So I can go collect a hug and a kiss!) 

*** Positive that the weather will be in the 40's next week with no chance of snow...meaning that any lingering snow removal and after affects of the snow will rapidly disappear. (Hey, that's the forecast!)  

 ***Positive that at least I will be getting a lot of exercise as I shovel us out!  (Shovel in hand.....one eye on my niece and nephews to ward off any incoming snowballs...either way, I'll be moving!)

***Positively glad that this is my weekend off so I don't have to sit back and worry about driving to work or getting home from work if I'm there while it gets bad!  (Jason has repeatedly talked about this as a positive, even though he also laments about the non-MF weekend in his cards)

***Positive that spring is right around the corner!  (Wishful thinking.........fervent prayer.......)

Food yesterday?  I was right at 1300 calories.  I aim for 1200 but consider anything within 100 calories right on target...so I did well.   It was difficult.  I grabbed food at home before I hooked up with Jason last night and I was SOOOO tempted to get a drink/smoothie that had calories while we were out.  I stuck with water though!   I had already hit the 'complete entry' tab on myfitnesspal...I didn't want to go back and have to correct...and I already knew I was at the upper limit of my calories for the day.  So water it was!   Yes, I ate more carbs than I should have...but lets get the calories in line first and then I will work on dropping the carbs!   Baby steps!

The water is going well!  I am consistently getting in at least 'close' to 64 ounces of water.  Most days over that amount.  I still use my trusty water jug for work days. 

  

On the weekends I tend to go toward bottled water as I'm usually out and about and it is just more handy.  My weekends with water consumption have been easier than before because Jason pounds the water.....it's easier to remember to do when someone else around you is drinking a river dry also!

And back to the snow.....Seriously?  I need to move back to Florida!

Accepting responsibility

I accept complete responsibility for what happened today.  It was 100% my failure. I can't blame it on anyone other than myself!

What happened?   Today was my weekly weigh in and it wasn't spectacular.  OK, so it wasn't all that horrible either.   

My weight fluctuated madly last week.  I was down and excited on Monday, disappointed on Wednesday and showing signs of progress again by Friday (still not as low as Monday though).  Normally my weight does NOT fluctuate that much.   If I take the average of those three weights, my weight for last week was 231.7.  

I had a relatively bad eating weekend.  I know what I have done, and I know how to fix it. (ha ha ha, say no to donuts......and fried cheese.......and vending machine food!)   I didn't know what to expect when I stepped on the scale today.  I hadn't stepped on the scale since last Friday.  Much to my shock I was 231.6.   At first I was disappointed because a week and a half ago I was a pound or two less.  But then I started to think about my weight through last week.  I'm going to call this week a maintain since I was dead on with my 'average'.  

Yes, I am thinking creatively....but shouldn't we sometimes think outside the box?

So where does this put in in terms of my Love Bites Valentines day Challenge?  Well....a lot worse than I assumed just a few minutes ago.   Yes, I had somehow counted four weeks until my Valentines weigh in when I was sending out my accountability emails....and while my goal was attainable by a long stretch, when I realized that my counting was off (how could I have counted four instead of three???) I now know that it is almost insurmountable.    You see, I would need to lose 11.6 pounds in 3 weeks.   3.9 pounds a week.  HA HA HA.  I'm going to push forward.  It's not so much as getting TO the goal (although on one of these mini challenges I'm making for myself I DO want to reach my goal....it didn't happen with Saving Christmas either.)  It's all about me making strides TOWARD my goal and I will call it a success if I get to the end day and I can show that I have lost something!  

So here I am.  I've accepted my role in not showing a loss and I am readjusting my motivation and determination. This journey is one that requires constant fine tuning and adjusting as our lives are definitely NOT static.   Things change from day to day and with that, it means that we sometimes need to change our methods and habits on a daily basis.   We need to roll with the punches and learn how to navigate!   It may seem crazy and not worth it...but I know.....it is SOOOO worth it and I have the pictures to prove it!!!!

I WILL conquer this!

It sure does bite!!!

Love Bites...Not going so well at this moment.  Ohhh...all is well in love and friendship.  Yes, things with Jason are going well.  (Yeah, the guy I finally kinda sorta alluded to for a few posts in November and December and then revealed in my 10 year blogiversary post )  Ok, things are going REALLY well.  I'm just gonna say it...it's hard to admit because I'm so afraid of getting hurt again.  But I will admit it...I like this guy.....and as crazy as it seems to me sometimes.....he likes me!  Seems like a win win!   

No, Love Bites was referring to that Valentines day Challenge that I created for myself.   Last week was eh with eating.  I was over my budget on Monday by a ton, spot on on Tuesday and Thursday , a few hundred calories  over on Wednesday and Friday.   And then it went really bad.  It started on Saturday morning when I left for work HUNGRY!  Why yes, I stopped at Burger King for a drink and caved and got food.  Why?   I don't really like fast food to begin with!  Poor planning.   The weekend just followed that trend.  Ok, in fairness Sunday wasn't that bad.   Monday however was......we got a late start and ended up snacking in the car for lunch while we toured the Gettysburg Battlefield.  I actually did pretty well with that.  I picked up some cheddar cheese and ate a Kind Bar at a 7-Eleven.  Not a bad lunch......

Maybe the Slurpie wasn't that great!  (although not that bad in calories!) But in fairness I drank well over my recommended amount of water for the day even without the Slurpie!  (Wild Cherry flavor of course....Jason had a lime something or other flavor...which wasn't bad, just no comparison to the good old fashioned cherry!)

It was dinner that messed me up.  I was hungry and I was on my way home and I opted for more junk.   Deep fried cheese (so yummy...but can I say BAD for me!)  and a pepperoni sub (wayyyyyyy too salty).   I caved and got a donut also.   Yeah, a donut.  Really?   My mouth was dried out from the super salty sub so when I was home I added on a Chocolate Eclair Ice cream bar thingy.     Ok, so poor planning, because I KNOW that my slurpie inspired lunch had left me hungrier than usual so I binged for my dinner.  

NOT how I am going to reach my goals.  Not gonna reach them that way at all.  I recognize it and I know that the only way for me to reach these goals means I have to PLAN.  I have to think.  I have to be cognizant.  I have to want it badly enough to sit back and say "NO" to the donut! 

The weekend was good.  We got to relax.  We got to hang out together.  And saw some pretty cool things.

This is a monument at the Gettysburg Battlefield that we read about.  It is inspired by a nest of baby birds that got knocked out of a tree during the heat of the battle.  A soldier actually stopped and saved the birds during that battle.  Neat story....cool monument.

And of course beautiful scenery all day....even though it was bitter cold!!!!

Accountability

This journey is difficult.  It's possible to do on ones own, but I can say from serious trial and error, that it is SOOO much easier with a friend, a group, a system, ANYTHING that keeps me accountable!

Really?  What works for me with accountability?   It has changed for me over the years.....or maybe it hasn't changed but circumstances changed.

1.   Weight Watchers.   I LOVED the accountability of the meetings.  Weighing in each week gave me a tangible accountability.  I KNEW the scales would be staring me in the face each week.  I weighed myself each week too....none of that free weigh in pass for me.  I wanted to see what what happening and know where I was each week.    While I would say the accountability of the weigh ins were the biggest part, I also found that the regular attendees of the meeting that I went to provided the other aspect of support that I needed to be a success.   We may not have known each other in any way other than by facial recognition, but those people were my support group. 

2.  Weekly weigh in with Friends.  I at one point instituted a weekly email that went to a group of friends.  Each week I sent an email with my weight to these friends.  I have done this off an on with some of these same friends throughout the last few years.   They WORK!

3.  Challenge Groups    These can be fabulous if they are run well!    I've been in some good ones...and I've been in some not so good ones.  I have participated in some and I have actually led some.   Both approaches work for me in terms of accountability.  I have done these with other people wanting to lose weight.  I have done them with people that are interested in challenging themselves physically with exercise.  (I used to participate heavily on a mileage challenge on  myfitnesspal , through weight watchers, through facebook and any other means.  I recently joined the Hagerstown 100 Miler which is in essence is just another challenge group. 

4.  Running and races.   Actually this could be any event that requires training.   I started with a few bike rides and then started doing some runs.  I'm not exactly consistent, but knowing that I paid for a big race is enough to keep me focused and moving for sure!   

5.  My blog-    I started this blog years ago....and it wasn't until earlier this week that I noticed the pattern.   I lost the bulk of my weight and was my lowest weight between 2007-2009.  Is it coincidental that in 2007 I wrote 230 blog posts.  What about a whopping 334 posts in the year 2008.   The year 2009 wasn't too shabby with 277 posts.  For those three years my average number of posts for the year is 280 posts per each year!    The average of posts for all the other years combined is 129 posts a year.     Coincidence?????    Hmmm, I don't think so!   

So why is the blog so important?  I think it is important because it helps me refocus on my goals on a daily basis.   When I'm not forced to think about it and write about it and whatnot, the focus in my life tends to shift and switch to something.  I am not saying that what it shifts to is not important, but I need to have the daily reminder that this goal is very real and very important in my life and that I need to keep pushing forward.  

Right now I am committed to sending my weight on a weekly basis to two friends. (And I will gladly add more people to my weekly weigh in reports if it will help!  I've at one time shared and emailed with 3-4 friends...the more accountability, the better!)   I am registered for one race (The Cooper River Bridge Run on April 2).  Obviously I am in the Hagerstown 100 Miler.     I am also committed to writing posts to help me stay accountable and to help me stay focused!