July!

 July started out with a bang!  And I don't mean fireworks!  I mean with my determination to be healthy!  Yes, I started the month with a spark of determination within me!

I set up my journal again this month much like I have the last few months, creating it by hand.  I have made adjustments each month to take away things that I didn't do and found unnecessary.  I added things that I realized I needed.  I adjusted and reworked things that I didn't like how they worked.  I am feeling really good with my journal!  I may start working on a version that I can print up so that I don't have to get out the good old ruler each month to create my own boxes, lines and gizmos!  I'm excited about possibly getting the perfect planner for me!   Seriously, I've been looking for YEARS for a planner that would have exactly what I needed it to have, or at least something close!  So I am excited to create my own. 

The month of July rolled around and I sat back and started to think about where I am.  And honestly, I wasn't happy with where I am in terms of my health.   So I decided that July was going to be my month to change my behaviors.  

What is changing?   Well nothing really.  But on the other hand, everything!   Last month in my journal I had 4 habits that I was to work on.   The four habits were very simple.  One, I had to keep my calories under 1500 for 6 days a week.   Second, I wanted to work on my water consumption.  I wanted to have 64 ounces of water bare minimum each day.    The third and the fourth kinda went hand in hand.  I wanted my step count to be over 5,000 steps per day and I wanted to exercise at least 3 times a week.   I quickly noticed that if I didn't exercise, the steps were much more difficult to get!     Simple and easy right?    I failed miserably!  Oh, not all of them.  My calories were spot on most days.  However, everything else was a colossal failure.  I exercised the first week or two and then didn't do it again!  Step count was next to nothing most days and my water.  Eii yii yii my water, lets just say it was a drought! So when I decided to get serious, I knew that those last three things would be on my habit page again.  I decided to not include the calories, that was pretty solid and darn near perfect.  I wanted to focus on things that I struggle with!  Easy peasy decision!   

So July first rolled around. And just like I expected, my calories are spot on and everything is going well.

 Exercise:  I didn't want to exercise when I woke up.  5 AM is not a friendly hour!  But I did it anyway!  I did it on July second also!    Now I am writing this on July third and I have to admit that I didn't exercise this morning.  I was thinking it was going to be a 'rest day'.  But after thinking about it throughout the day thus far, I have plans to knock out SOMETHING after work.  It's not so much that I don't want to skip a day of exercise, but rather I know that exercise will help me increase my step count so that I don't miss that goal today also! 

Steps:    I am happy to say that I got my steps in on both Monday and Tuesday, the first two days of the month.  The one day I was a little shy of my goal as the day was winding down. Nope, Not allowed, not happening!  So I  made sure that I moved and walked a bit more around the yard with the dog to make it to my 5K.   (and yes, I know that 5 K is a low goal....give me time and I will raise it gradually, but right now 5K is a stretch!).   And yes, that is why I KNOW that I need to do something after work.  I'm at 2k Steps right now, and I know getting 3 K will be hard.  Sure I'll be on my feet and making dinner and whatnot, but that doesn't garner a lot of steps!  I NEED STEPS!

Water: I didn't forget my water! On the first of July I actually not only got my 64 ounces, but I also got an extra 32 ounces on top of that!  Go me!   Tuesday was not as over the top, and I just made my 64 ounces.    No extra, but I am still proud of myself!    Today is about halfway over and I am more than halfway through my water for the day, so I'm feeling good about my success for the day.

So there you have it.  I am enacting the changes necessary to turn my health journey around.  Sadly, I am not seeing any change on the scales.  But I am ok with that.  First of all, it is only 3 days in.  I am also aware that my body is probably holding on to every ounce of water since it's finally getting what it needs and that within a few days I'll probably be running to the bathroom frequently as it regulates itself, which is when my weight will drop.   But you know what, if it doesn't;  I will still be ok because I know that the habits that I am working on will have a positive impact on my overall health!

New Habit Progress

This month of December is full of building (rebuilding) healthy habits!  I started with tracking my food ad drinking water at first.  But then last week I added a new one!  The questions is how did I do?

I continued tracking my food.  I'm back in the grove and it has truly become a habit for me to track every bite I eat. I feel happy with my assessment that it was time to add a new habit!  

 My new habit was to keep my calories/points at a good level in order to lose weight.  first day of tracking was ROUGH.  I was honestly trying to eat right and keep my points low..but that first day I was 6 points over!  Eii Yii Yii!  Luckily we have those weekly points to allow us to 'live a bit!"    But the other days, I was able to eat pretty decently and had no issues staying within my points.   Ok, lets be honest, I WANTED desserts.  I WANTED more food!  I WANTED to eat junk food.  But I didn't!  I've kept my eating right where it needs to be!

My other original healthy habit......drinking 64 ounces of water.  What in the world?  This one is SOOO difficult!  I struggled.  Oh, I freely admit that I struggled!  BUT, slowly...surely I managed to start to bring it back around.  By the end of last week, I was getting my 64 ounces of water.  I was chugging the last 8 ounces at hte end of the day sometimes, but I was doing it!  I had to default to putting some flavor packs in my water (which I try to limit) but I got it!  This habit is far from set in stone.  But I finally feel as if I have taken a step in the right direction!

So how is my weight doing?  

I honestly have no clue!  I weighed myself on Monday, the first day I started to try to eat the proper amount of points/calories.  I have not weighed myself since then.  Part of that is due to convenience.  I've been showering in the hall bathroom....my scales are in the master bath.  But a bigger part is that I haven't felt the need.  I know that my eating over my birthday weekend was horrible...so I know that on Tuesday and Wednesday and maybe even Thursday my weight was still trying to regulate after that.  I didn't want to see a higher number.  I didn't want to be demoralized!  So I have stayed away from the scales.  Maybe next week!  :-)

Christmas is around the corner.  I'm as ready as I'm going to be.  Dinner on Christmas Day should be low key and not too big, which should help with my eating!  And if it does go a little crazy, well that's ok also.  It's only one day....one meal.  Meanwhile we had an ice storm....but no snow.  Will we have a white christmas?  It remains to be seen!

Adding a New Habit

 The other week I decided to start afresh and make this weight loss thing happen.  I am tired of being overweight.  I am tired of hurting.  I am just sick and tired of it!   So I started.  Now I didn't start full steam ahead and vow to do everything right.  I made a vow to work on two habits at a time.  I vowed to work on tracking my food and drinking at least 64 ounces of water. 

The tracking has gone splendidly.  Even through my birthday weekend it was a win!  I have tracked religiously for the last two weeks!    I have gotten back into the habit and routine of keeping a record of what I am eating.  I feel as if I have done a good job with my tracking.  I tracked everything.  Honestly, I am too ashamed to even share my points /calories that I ate some days.  It was ugly!  But ugly or pretty the goal was to track regardless.  I nailed this habit setting venture.  I will be continuing to track my food!

I wish I could declare the same victory for my water drinking habit that I was/am working on.  This one has proven to be very elusive to capture.  Some days I come really close to drinking my 64 ounces.  Some days I'm rather far away.  I think that I only managed this once or twice.  This habit definitely is NOT cemented yet.  I've still got some work to do on this habit building venture to drink my water!

So I am continuing to work on creating the water habit but since I have the tracking down, it is time to add a new habit to the mix to work on.   So what is the new habit going to be?   Well it is going to be working to keep my calories/points in line each day.  I'm not aiming for perfection.  Aiming for perfection is a good way to get discouraged because life is not perfect. I am aiming for 5-6 days a week of perfection.  I am aiming to be within my points for the week (using the weekly points for WW).    So water and keeping my food intake at a correct level for weight loss success is my habits that I will be focusing on.   Now just because I am focusing on these two habits doesn't mean that I will be ignoring the tracking...that is in theory now a habit and will be continuing!

I had a nice birthday weekend.  On Thursday we ran all of our errands and went to see my mom.  On Friday we headed north and visited the abandoned coal mine town of Centralia.  This is the town that was abandoned when the coal seams/coal mines caught on fire under the town....and continue to burn out of cotntor.   (you can watch my youtube video here for some more info) Sadly for us, all the buildings are gone and it is simply roads and sidewalks that are being reclaimed by nature.  But we visited the cemeteries and soaked in the abandoned nature of this town. 

On my actual birthday we headed up the road again, but a lot closer this time.  We went to Carlisle PA and visted the Army Heritage Museum.   I have driven up the interstate so many times and noticed the army equipment situated along the walking trail but I never realized that there is a very nice museum there also.   We had a few enjoyable hours exploring the museum and walking trail. 

It was a nice birthday weekend.  Now that I am half a hundred, it's time (past time) to get my health in line!   

This is it!

Why oh why does December pose such problems for weight loss?  It’s just not right!!!!    I’m not throwing in the towel and saying ‘January is when I start’.  No!  I’m trying now...two weeks is a long time and I CAN make changes between now and then.  I can take small  steps and find skills that I can refine and build into a habit!!  Even if I don’t lose a pound because of crazy Christmas functions, I can at least set myself up for success so that when holiday functions are over I will be ready to rock this weight loss thing!

Why is it so hard?  December is birthday month in my family.  Now as I get older it’s not that big of a thing to navigate...but since my birthday is one of the ‘holidays’ it is hard to ignore!  And I failed on my yearly cookie gift from my mom!   Ohhh they are so delicious...and if she had more for me this week I would be eating them this week also...maybe a bit slower though, since it would not be such a once a year treat that I gobble up!    Why else?  Holiday functions. Work/site wide dessert day is on Wednesday.  My specific team is having a pot luck meal on Thursday.  On Saturday...another function.  Christmas Eve...Christmas Day.....food food food everywhere!

So what am I planning to get myself in line?

In terms of eating,  I will not be partaking in the desserts on Wednesday for the work site dessert fest!   I usually do ok at potlucks at work so I’m not too concerned about Thursday...a pot luck  is ONE time when having a tendency to closet eat  hide my eating) comes in handy!!  

I will also be utilizing the same challenge that I gave myself at thanksgiving.  It was successful...if not for weight loss...at least for maintaining!!!  The challenge is easy.   Exercise the day of the holiday....only one plate...no second helpings....no nibbling on food while cooking...only food on the single serving plate!   The original challenge that I copied also had the added item of ‘picture of your food’.  That one did nothing for me and actually just didn’t work for me ...so I am ditching that one this go-round!

My goal for my eating through the next week until Christmas is over is to control my eating.  To NEVER feel that stuffed sick feeling that I get when I overindulge!!   If I don’t lose weight...that’s ok.  I just want to be in control!!!!

My next big change is to recommence with tracking my food!  I’ve been really really bad of late!  Tracking for me is important... vitally important.  I tend to lose control easier when I’m not tracking.    So I will track in the next weeks.   As best I can for this holiday food events...but religiously for everything else!   I will rebuild this habit!!   Once again, I’m not looking for any certain caloric count right now or anything.  I am just tracking!

This is definitely one of the hardest things I’ve ever attempted to do....losing weight is not for the feeble minded!  It takes work, persistence, ongoing motivation and desire.   It’s difficult!   I am stepping back ...I’m out of control.  So it’s time to work on this small skills that I will use for success!  I’ve done it before.  I can do it again!

When it’s just not working: quit or adjust

I started to work at my current job about a year and a half ago.   I quickly fell into a couple habits.   Honestly, they were pretty decent habits!  And they were working for me!  But just this morning I realized that one of the habits is no longer working for me!  That means I need to either give it up or alter it!!!  Continuing on with something that is not working is a futile attempt at success!

So let’s talk about some of these habits that I fell into:

The first habit was that I began walking on my 15 minute breaks and on my 30 minute lunch break. When winter hit it was more difficult but I continued on days that were not ‘too cold’ and when it was too cold?  I walked the steps on each break.  Not exactly a complete workout, but it was at least some activity in an environment that has me sitting for hours on end while I do my job.   I feel better when I do this and however small, it’s doing my body some good.    I have admittedly gotten lazy on this one and I need to alter my behavior to get back into this and to stop being lazy.

The next habit I got into was eating a small snack in the morning on the way to work.  This was mainly when I was leaving the house at 6AM and had a two hour commute. When I moved closer to work I just accidentally stopped eating breakfast.  It worked for me and I found that I felt better not struggling to force myself to eat when I was  not really feeling it.  I later found that what I was doing was intermittent fasting.  And it worked for me in terms of my lifestyle.   I am not a sadist.  Ok those days that I can think of nothing other than food in the morning?  I will break from my routine and actually grab a bite to eat.   So this habit stays.

The last habit  is the lunches that contain ‘portable’ foods that I could eat while walking.   Typically this was a piece of fruit and a piece of cheese...easily nibbled on  on while walking.  This is the habit that I’m struggling with.   In the last few months I  found it more and more difficult to be ‘satisfied’ physically and emotionally with this light lunch.  And I often cave and go to the cafeteria.  The other morning while I was packing my lunchbox I had a lightbulb moment.   Two of them really.   The first was that it makes sense that that type of lunch no longer works for me.  I started intermit fastening and I’m breaking my 16 hour fast with that meal and it’s virtually nothing.   Well then.....

The second thing is the memory of lunches I ate when I was losing weight years ago. I still ate a meal that was heavy in fruit and veggies (mostly fruits and veggies) but I always had some kind of  carbohydrate ...or something crunchy...without it I felt dissatisfied.   A lot of the time I ate a Wasa cracker   (Amazon Affiliate Link).  That’s a cracker that is high fiber, low calorie and relatively nutritious...it added the crunch needed. Sooooo...realizing and remembering these two things helped me come to the conclusion that I will be altering my lunches to include a bit more food...I don’t want to be ravenous...or unsatisfied.   Sustainability requires satisfaction!!!

So that is my main change...I will be adjusting how and what I pack for my lunches at work!!!   This weight loss thing is an ever adapting every changing life!  What works today may not work next week...we just have to roll with the punches!

False hunger

Are you really hungry?  Or is it a false hunger?   How can you tell if you are really hungry?   There have been many times in my life when I have been convinced that I am literally starving with hunger.  (I am too ashamed to admit how many....oh wait, I can't quickly count that high!)  In reality, what I usually think is hunger is really not hunger.  There are different things in life that masquerade as hunger.  All of them are manageable, as long as you recognize them for what they are.....NOT HUNGER.

On Monday evening I ate something that didn’t agree with me (or maybe too much of something...although I didn’t overeat).  I was sick for a while in the middle of the night.  Nothing a few trips to the bathroom didn’t take care of.  Way too much information, I know.  But the point is, I probably emptied my system a bit more than normal.   I’m usually not at all hungry at breakfast and thus many times don’t eat at that time...I’m not forcing myself to eat just because the clock says it’s time to eat.  So I didn’t eat breakfast on Tuesday morning.  Around 10 or so my head started to pound.  I drank water and took more Advil.  Nothing worked!   I immediately thought about caffeine, but then I decided to get a sandwich for lunch instead of eating my low cal/light lunch.   I couldn’t wait until 1PM when my lunch break would roll around!  It finally arrived...I got a turkey sandwich and ate it with my packed cherries.  I skipped the chips and did not cave to get a soda.  And guess what?  The headache went away.   I was hungry!!!!

I had experienced true hunger!  However, usually what I think is hunger is actually something else entirely. Here is a short list of possible culprits when we THINK we are hungry.

Thirst
I've heard it said that close to 50% of people mistake thirst for hunger.  It's actually a common thing and easy to understand how it could happen, the same part of the brain controls hunger and thirst.  This is an easy one to fix.  Literally....drink up!  If you feel hunger, the first thing to ask yourself is "When was the last time you had something to drink?"   I bet you find that it has been a while!

Boredom
Yup, we eat out of boredom.  When we have nothing to do, we look for something to fill that void. One  of the most recurring things we do in our life that takes up our idle time is to fix, prepare and eat food.  So it's only natural that we turn to food when we are bored.  So if you are feeling hungry, find something to do.  Pick up a book to read or go take a walk!  If you are experiencing true hunger those hunger pangs will not disappear but only intensify.  But I bet you find that you don't think about food at all while you are otherwise occupied

Stress
This one is a hard one because we don't have a lot of control over the stress that enters our life.  I can  look at the history of my weight loss and see a direct correlation between weight gains and those really rough spots in my ex-marriage.  Stress hunger.   More recently I experienced the death of my father.  Stress hunger came into play.  I gained about 10 pounds in that first week and a total of 20 pounds in the first month.  That's a LOT of donuts (and other bad stuff) eaten through stress hunger.  I obviously haven't mastered this one yet.  However, I vow to indulge in healthy snacks the next time stress hunger hits!

Habits
I leave work every day and drive the two or three blocks to the interstate.  As soon as my car is safely merged into the traffic I have an incredible need.   I have a need for some gum.  Now let me say this, I don't normally chew gum.  But EVERY DAY on this stretch of highway I NEED my gum. It's a habit that I somehow picked up.  Even on weekends when I'm with Jason, if we happen to be on that stretch of highway, my mouth begins to water and I just NEED that piece of gum!

Food is the same way.  Eating a small snack as soon as I get home is a habit.  I tell myself i'm hungry, but it's a habit.  You see, if I get sidetracked and miss my wee little snack, I find that I don't miss it in the slightest and I feel no signs of hunger from the missed snack.

Even though I ate a much larger lunch on Tuesday,  my body still told me that I was ‘hungry’ and needed that snack after work that day.   I didn’t give in, because I knew it was a false hunger!  I worked on my dollhouse during that critical time!

Eliminating habits is something I've talked about before.  It's simply a practice of recognizing it as a bad habit and having the willpower to resist and change.

True Signs of hunger
There are some signs of true hunger.  Some of these include
*gurgling, rumbling or growling in stomach
*dizziness, faintness or light-headedness
*headache
*lack of concentration
*Nausea

  I still remember the day that I felt true hunger, probably for the first time in a LONG time (maybe ever).  I was convinced I was getting sick because my stomach was hurting.   How sad is that?  I was  (am) so overfed that when I do feel real hunger I don't even know what it is!  Hunger, it happens.  It's ok to eat when it happens.  But we need to be careful to make sure that we are really hungry and that we are not false hunger.

New habits: eliminate the bad and add the good!

Another one bites the dust....week that is!  Thank heavens it’s Friday!  Woohoo!  Bring on the weekend! This week I focused on building some healthy habits.   I also got in some mid week exercise.  We had a mid week holiday which meant time off work!  It was really hot this week, and that brought about some splurges of ice cream....so my weight...well....we will get there.   Let’s  just say that in the grand scheme of things I’m going to call it a good week!

Habits

Habits, wow I could write forever about routines and habits.   We all have them.  I do.   My morning routine is exactly the same every day.  I wake up, go to the bathroom, lay out my clothes for the day, go back to the bathroom, turn on the water, weigh myself, shower....same exact order every single day!  That routine/habit isn’t a bad thing.  It is early and I am sometimes half asleep, so the habit is good. But sometimes we have habits that are not so good.  I have written about the sweet treat every night habit that I somehow picked up.  That’s not such a good one!  And I have managed to break the every night routine of getting something sweet....I still indulge but not every night as a rule.

Somehow when I took away the sweet treat habit, I picked up a ‘after work snack’ habit. Usually it’s Cheetos or chips so nothing remotely healthy!  Yeah I jumped right from the frying pan into the fire!  This is a bad habit that I am trying to break.  I have been working in baby steps to eliminate bad habits and begin good habits.  I have worked to combat the closet eating gorge-fest that I was having while Jason was in the shower. Talking to him and letting him know that I do closet eat helped, as does putting my snack into a bowl and leaving the kitchen.  So that was a break in the routine and a change of a habit.   That’s a victory!   But next up is breaking that snack after work routine.  I don’t REALLY need a snack!  Stay tuned for another victory as I break that habit!

The daily multivitamin habit that I started a few weeks ago is going well.  I do not believe that I have missed any day as of yet!  It has become part of my mindless morning routine!  VICTORY!

The next habit to work on has been begun!   A few months ago Jason and I talked about upper body strength and core strength.  We vowed to do push ups and planks every night.  I remembered for two...maybe three nights before I totally forgot!   It was an utter failure. Fast forward to last weekend.  I saw an article about planks.  I decided it was time to try to rebuild this habit/routine.  I immediately linked the article to my Facebook page and did something else that was bound to make me successful.   I set an alarm on my phone, set to go off each and every evening.  I tried to chose a good time that I wouldn’t be eating dinner, or cooking dinner, or already wiped out and half asleep.  And each night when that alarm has gone off I’ve gotten up off the couch and done my planks..standard, side and even some push ups.   My core strength and arm strength is weak...but that is bound to change!!!  Building healthy habits!!

Heat and weigh in

As I mentioned earlier, we have been in high heat and high humidity weather.   That makes me want ice cream!!!  It makes me want cold stuff!   So I have indulged  a few times.  This has affected my weigh in. It wasn’t as bad as it could have been, but I definitely didn’t do as well as I wanted!  I weighed in this morning at......

 That said, it’s been hot and while I’ve been drinking lots of water, I wake up thirsty....which tells me I still need more water!  And of course the monthly female ick has come and that causes water retention for me also.  So I’m not going to stress my weigh in this week!

Fourth of July Holiday

We had the Fourth of July holiday mid week.  That meant a day off of work for both of us.   It was hot. We stayed inside for much of the day.  However, we really wanted to do ‘something’ so we did drag ourselves out into the heat for a bit.  What did we chose to do? We went to the Monocacy Battlefield.  We enjoyed the nice cool visitor center and museum.  They have some walking trails that we decided to forego until the fall. (We now live close to this battlefield, so doing the trails this fall is not out of the realm of true possibility.). We opted for the driving tour instead.  We did get out of the car at each location to walk around a bit...

It was hot and a when we finished the car tour we hightailed it home to our wonderfully cool apartment!  It was a good way to spend a hot holiday!

No Brainer

It was dark.  It was cold.   There was frost on my windshield.  It was early!  

I laid in bed going back and forth.  Go to the gym?  Stay home in my comfy cozy bed?  Guilt over signing up for a more closer albeit expensive ($10 more a month...plus the start up fee) gym pulled me from my bed.   Yes, I went to the gym this morning.

I wasn't there any great length of time.  I went to use the treadmill.  I went to put in a few miles on my legs.  I didn't have grand plans to push it really far or hard.  I want to ease back into running.   By about mile two, my foot was starting to make it's presence known....not really painful, just aware.  I'm going to look at that as a victory as a few weeks ago I could only make it through the first mile before I became aware of my foot issue!

Don't cheer too much.  It was a brutal run.  It was more a run a half mile and then walk a half mile.  Treadmill running is for the pits and I always struggle to keep running the whole time!  Regardless of the walk run dealio, I am happy with what I did.

As I was doing my thing on the treadmill at the crack of dawn this morning, I had the thought.    I want to lose this weight.  I want it down to the core of my being.  Yet I struggled to get to the gym.   Really?   What do I expect?   Do I expect the weight to melt off  if I take a steamy hot shower?   Do I expect the weight to disappear while I'm sleeping?   Do I expect to lose weight while I'm shoveling movie theater popcorn that is smothered in butter into my mouth?    WHY?   Why do I insist on these bad habits and fight the good habits?   I know they are NOT what I need to be doing to get to my goals.....yet I resist!  

Seems kind of dumb to me!

I can't expect different results if I don't change my habits!  So the question really comes into play.....what is more important to me?  The results or the stupid habits that are slowly killing me?

Lets break this down......

The stupid habits....

** laying in bed and doing nothing versus going to the gym

**eating fattening food that tastes good 

Results.......

**being able to run without stopping

**cool clothes

**thin svelte body (or as thin as it's going to be)

**being able to hike, ride roller coasters, go sky diving, or whatever my heart desires without the fears and constraints of being overweight....the sky is the limit, not my weight

**not feeling sick, stuffed and bloated from the foods I eat

Seems such a no brainer to me!

Today is a new day!!!!!!  

Mistake

Today Todd and I went out to lunch. I was perusing the menu, looking for a healthy option. I decided on the vegetable platter. I was just starting to look at the options of veggies when the waitress came. Todd ordered and I was forced to make my decision right then and there. I ordered mashed potatoes (bad bad bad), pickled beets (good choice), a side salad (dressing on the side.....good choice), it came with a roll (looking not so good) and OUCH...I don't even want to say it.....mac and cheese. It was sooo yummy going down. BUT then I came home and did my calculations. I am watching calories. OUCH. I only had a bowl of special K this morning....with just a tad of milk (I don't like milk)....and when I added lunch....ouch, I have only like 200 calories for the rest of the day. I didn't realize this until about 2PM when I started to feel hungry (yep...). So I hurried over to calculate.....that way I could judge my snack. Hmmmm...not good. I guess a salad is my friend for dinner tonight!