So, I went out running this morning. Ohh the excuses were flying at me full force. "My foot hurts." "It's pretty dang cold." "Seriously, there is frost on the car windshield, I don't have time to wait for it to defrost." "It's getting late." Yeah, they were flying at me!
I ignored them though. I actually forgot to even tape my foot because once I started getting dressed the pain miraculously disappeared ..and the pain never reappeared during my run. (Showing that it was in my head this morning). I just bundled up in warm clothes. I ran on my road instead of driving to the battlefield or canal. I overcame every excuse and got out there to run!
However, my run was cut a bit short. Why you ask. Well, I usually have strict 'rules and regulations' for getting myself ready to run. I was trying to overcome the time factor this morning and kinda rushed through them. I may or may not have skipped a step or two. Yeah, I skipped the 'make sure the morning bathroom duties are attended to" Not a big deal? Yeah, it's a huge deal. My body works like clockwork...and well...mornings always necessitate a trip to the bathroom. I didn't take that trip before I ran. So halfway down my road I was feeling an urge that is not to pleasant when you are a mile away from the bathroom. I ran a bit over a mile and walked a bit over a mile today. The good thing? That mile I ran was the fastest mile I've run in a training run in a long time (and only one or two times EVER did I beat that pace.) Was I running fast out of necessity? ha ha ha...NO, I wasn't in dire straights, I was just aware of a future need.
So I was reminded of excuses in my own life today......and blowing those excuses to bits is an awesome feeling!!!
Showing posts with label excuses. Show all posts
Showing posts with label excuses. Show all posts
Monday, November 04, 2013
Tuesday, October 01, 2013
No longer insurmountable
A while back I was having a conversation with a friend. I was remarking about how the last few months have been a constant barrage of things that have derailed me from my weight loss efforts. It was being diagnosed with plantars fasciitis (and the pain that accompanies that), the flu, a sore arm (who knows what that is), some personal issues. One thing after another hit me. I would just get myself back in line and it seemed as if another thing would hit me square in the forehead and derail me again.
Excuses? Yes. Are they valid? Absolutely. They were all valid things that cropped up in my life. However for the last week or so since that conversation I've pondered this. I've thought about the fact that I've struggled with my weight. I've not really lost anything and I've been struggling with getting myself regulated with my exercise routine. I haven't known what to say or what to think about it.
That is until tonight. I was talking to a different friend and she mentioned that she wanted to lose weight so that she could like herself when she looked in the mirror. I started to respond. "The trick is you have to learn to love yourself before you start. Love yourself because you will need to know that you are worth everything. If you know that you are worth it, nothing will stop you. You will know that you are worth every minute of hard work and every dollar of money that you spend at the gym or on healthy pursuits. As I started to talk to her it hit me that THAT was the answer.
In the last three months I stopped liking mself. Or rather, I liked myself but I was struggling with self worth issues. The excuses in my life were stoppable to me only because I allowed them to rule me. I'm worth a whole lot more. I'm worth the extra time and energy to overcome each and every roadblock!!!
So yes, they are valid excuses. But they are STILL excuses and should have no affect on me. THere is always a way around it!!!!!!
Excuses? Yes. Are they valid? Absolutely. They were all valid things that cropped up in my life. However for the last week or so since that conversation I've pondered this. I've thought about the fact that I've struggled with my weight. I've not really lost anything and I've been struggling with getting myself regulated with my exercise routine. I haven't known what to say or what to think about it.
That is until tonight. I was talking to a different friend and she mentioned that she wanted to lose weight so that she could like herself when she looked in the mirror. I started to respond. "The trick is you have to learn to love yourself before you start. Love yourself because you will need to know that you are worth everything. If you know that you are worth it, nothing will stop you. You will know that you are worth every minute of hard work and every dollar of money that you spend at the gym or on healthy pursuits. As I started to talk to her it hit me that THAT was the answer.
In the last three months I stopped liking mself. Or rather, I liked myself but I was struggling with self worth issues. The excuses in my life were stoppable to me only because I allowed them to rule me. I'm worth a whole lot more. I'm worth the extra time and energy to overcome each and every roadblock!!!
So yes, they are valid excuses. But they are STILL excuses and should have no affect on me. THere is always a way around it!!!!!!
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Guilty as charged
However, what really transpired was something much different. I woke up early. Todd asked if I wanted to watch a tv show that we had recorded. I said yes, it was afterall 6AM. I could watch the show and STILL have time to do everything. I flipped on my computer and started to edit pictures from the wedding that I photographed on Saturday. I have only halfway edited and processed the tons of pictures. I started editing. Todd and I finished our show and Todd headed out the door. I was enmeshed in my work. Time passed. I did briefly think about going out for a ride, but by that time I could see the end in sight. I chose to finish the pictures and get it off my plate. I worked right up until I left for work. (all I have to do is burn the disk for the bride and groom and also a disk for the lady that arranged the flowers as she and I had talked and I had offered her some pictures with her flowers).
A conscious decision was made. Was it a bad decision? Maybe. Was it a good decision? Maybe. I am walking with Sherry tonight so I will get some activity in. (If I don’t walk with her, I will go out for a short run). I feel like I made an excuse to not exercise. Realistically, I know that while I spent a few hours on Sunday that since then I’ve only been able to spend a few minutes here and there with the pictures and that they were not going to get done if I didn’t devote some serious time to them.
A conscious decision was made. Was it a bad decision? Maybe. Was it a good decision? Maybe. I am walking with Sherry tonight so I will get some activity in. (If I don’t walk with her, I will go out for a short run). I feel like I made an excuse to not exercise. Realistically, I know that while I spent a few hours on Sunday that since then I’ve only been able to spend a few minutes here and there with the pictures and that they were not going to get done if I didn’t devote some serious time to them.
I need to remember that this is a journey of making exercise fit into my life. It means that when I have other obligations that I adjust to make them work and to STOP FEELING GUILTY! Ok, I feel guilty because I haven’t been on my bike at all this month…and only two runs….yikes…BINGO…there is where the guilt is occurring. But I’m back on track. I ran on Monday, Zumba’d on Tuesday and Wednesday. I’m walking tonight. I’m doing ok. No guilt! (if I say it to myself enough times maybe I’ll actually start believing it!)
I'll leave you with a few of my favorite pictures from the wedding.
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Excuses
Drat but I hate excuses! I'm finding that I have no tolerance for excuses of late. I hear the excuses why people can't exercise. Some of the excuses are nuts too. Stuff like, 'My big toe has a pimple on it so I won't be able to exercise for the next five days.' and I just want to say 'so?' Ok maybe the excuses are not as far fetched as that...but it sure feels like it. Excuses have no place in my vocabulary.
Don't worry...I've got a tentative plan though!
My spiel about excuses said, I'm struggling. I ran yesterday morning and had a phenomenal run. Seriously...I ran faster longer and more consistently than ever before. I amazed myself. (And ironically my original thought process for today's blog was to talk about how amazing our bodies are and how our bodies can do things that stun us if we only try....but I digress). I went to work and my legs tingled throughout the day. I could feel the muscles. That's ok. I'm not stupid enough to think it isn't going to hurt. But my feet just ACHE. My bone (a pain I've had since childhood) reared its ugly head. It was rough. But excuses are excuses so I went to Zumba last night and powered through. I actually felt better when it was over. (And not because it was over...my body felt not as achy)
This morning is when I hit the wall. I was set to wake up at 5:30...ride my bike from 6 to 7 then have a nice breakfast and run an errand or two and then come to work. I woke up at 5:30 just fine. (5:20 actually). And that's where it went sour. I dozed and fell back asleep. I moved and realized my back was really hurting (same area that went out a few years back...it sometimes bothers me). My feet hurt and well....I listened to those darn excuses and voila...no bike ride for mf this morning. Grrrr. It's stinkin' hot out today....and my time is tight tonight. I swore I was riding today. I've thought about making today a rest day and riding tomorrow. I've toyed with lots....but I'm disgusted because I let excuses rule my decision.
Friday, April 19, 2013
My bone
As if I haven’t beaten the excuses dead horse conversation enough….lets rehash it again.
Growing up in school, I always had issues with my feet. I went to doctor after doctor. They immobilized my foot for a while. Don’t ask me why it was immobilized, it wasn’t broken, but I was in a cast for weeks upon weeks upon weeks. It seemed like a lifetime for an 8 year old girl. The casts came off and the pain was still there. They continued to poke and prod me. Eventually one of the doctors came up with a surgical plan. It would have called for total immobilization for months upon months. I had already tried this and that and to myself and my parents it just seemed as if this was another shot in the dark. It was opted to pass on the surgery. Right about that time we stopped going to the doctors. I had by that time learned how to deal with the chronic pain. The pain was pretty intense at times while I was growing up. My pain developed its own catch phrase within my family. I would just say “my bone” and everyone knew. The problem is that this foot pain is partly what set me up for the colossal failure that my weight has been in my life. I was a very active kid. I was always outside playing, just like any kid in the 70’s I’d wager. I didn’t really gym/PE at school. I loved when they pulled out the nets and we played floor hockey, but I just wasn’t athletic and it wasn’t my favorite subject in school. And then these mysterious feet problems reared their ugly head. When it hurt I had no desire to play outside. I didn’t have any desire to participate in gym classes. I had the perfect excuse, “my bone”. I even had doctors notes that made it A-OK for me to sit on the sidelines during gym class should ‘my bone’ be bothering me. It was a recipe for disaster. For a girl that didn’t get into the team sports that is so typical in gym class I used the ‘my bone’ card much more than I probably had to. Don’t get me wrong, there were some days where I really did ache. But there were many more that I skipped simply because I didn’t want to participate. I know that in high school for that required class, I milked it for all it was worth. It was very easy to find someone that had PE before me , simply to find out what we were doing. If I didn’t feel like doing it I used the ‘my bone’ card. I’m not saying that ‘my bone’ is what made me fat. But it certainly didn’t help matters.
As I stopped participating, I let my fears start to rule me. Seriously! I wasn’t athletically inclined but with a foot that I DID hobble on and with the lack of continual exercise I became the girl that got hit with a softball (true story) and the girl that got hit with the volleyball (true story) and quickly became the last one picked because I was a liability to any sporting team. It was a self-perpetuating manifestation of obesity inspiring factors.
Luckily as I’ve gotten older the pain slowly died away and I can go for weeks, months even without any pain. Or maybe, just maybe it’s just a way of life and I don’t even pay attention to it. I think it’s a combination of the two. Either way, it is an excuse. It’s an excuse that I worked for 30 years. I am was the queen of excuses
Today is my rest day. I used to cheer and applaud when I would declare it a rest day. Looking back, I had NO CLUE. I woke up feeling fresh as a daisy. I was chipper and my body felt fine. Now-a-days, I am working out much much more. I am working out with a much higher intensity. By the time my rest day rolls around, I feel like I’ve been through a war! My all or nothing personality/mentality makes me want to exercise, but I know that I need the break. My body screams at me to take the break. And even as much as I want to exercise, I can’t imagine what it would be like to not take the day or rest at this point. It makes me want to cry just thinking about it. The good thing about the day of rest? I wake up the next morning and I’m ready to go. That one day is pure magic.
I’m holding my own with my eating. I’m trying to incorporate snacks into my day. I’ve been simply eating my three meals and calling it good. (yeah, I know….but it’s worked for me in the past and it’s still working). But I am really trying. SO I am incorporating snacks. Today it was really stressing me out. I got to work at 7:45…and I was sipping on my breakfast smoothie. I leave at 2. If I didn’t finish breakfast until 8:30, how in the world am I supposed to get a snack and lunch in before 2PM. And I certainly don’t want to eat lunch at 2 today. Ahhhh stress about a snack? Only me! I eventually decided that I would eat my morning snack at 10 (well I nibbled on my grapes for a while so it was longer) and I’m going to go to lunch at 12:30….can’t really push it too much later since I get off at 2. The one thing about the snacking thing…I’m not hungry…my lunches have been half eaten since I incorporated this new habit.
Growing up in school, I always had issues with my feet. I went to doctor after doctor. They immobilized my foot for a while. Don’t ask me why it was immobilized, it wasn’t broken, but I was in a cast for weeks upon weeks upon weeks. It seemed like a lifetime for an 8 year old girl. The casts came off and the pain was still there. They continued to poke and prod me. Eventually one of the doctors came up with a surgical plan. It would have called for total immobilization for months upon months. I had already tried this and that and to myself and my parents it just seemed as if this was another shot in the dark. It was opted to pass on the surgery. Right about that time we stopped going to the doctors. I had by that time learned how to deal with the chronic pain. The pain was pretty intense at times while I was growing up. My pain developed its own catch phrase within my family. I would just say “my bone” and everyone knew. The problem is that this foot pain is partly what set me up for the colossal failure that my weight has been in my life. I was a very active kid. I was always outside playing, just like any kid in the 70’s I’d wager. I didn’t really gym/PE at school. I loved when they pulled out the nets and we played floor hockey, but I just wasn’t athletic and it wasn’t my favorite subject in school. And then these mysterious feet problems reared their ugly head. When it hurt I had no desire to play outside. I didn’t have any desire to participate in gym classes. I had the perfect excuse, “my bone”. I even had doctors notes that made it A-OK for me to sit on the sidelines during gym class should ‘my bone’ be bothering me. It was a recipe for disaster. For a girl that didn’t get into the team sports that is so typical in gym class I used the ‘my bone’ card much more than I probably had to. Don’t get me wrong, there were some days where I really did ache. But there were many more that I skipped simply because I didn’t want to participate. I know that in high school for that required class, I milked it for all it was worth. It was very easy to find someone that had PE before me , simply to find out what we were doing. If I didn’t feel like doing it I used the ‘my bone’ card. I’m not saying that ‘my bone’ is what made me fat. But it certainly didn’t help matters.
As I stopped participating, I let my fears start to rule me. Seriously! I wasn’t athletically inclined but with a foot that I DID hobble on and with the lack of continual exercise I became the girl that got hit with a softball (true story) and the girl that got hit with the volleyball (true story) and quickly became the last one picked because I was a liability to any sporting team. It was a self-perpetuating manifestation of obesity inspiring factors.
Luckily as I’ve gotten older the pain slowly died away and I can go for weeks, months even without any pain. Or maybe, just maybe it’s just a way of life and I don’t even pay attention to it. I think it’s a combination of the two. Either way, it is an excuse. It’s an excuse that I worked for 30 years. I am was the queen of excuses
Today is my rest day. I used to cheer and applaud when I would declare it a rest day. Looking back, I had NO CLUE. I woke up feeling fresh as a daisy. I was chipper and my body felt fine. Now-a-days, I am working out much much more. I am working out with a much higher intensity. By the time my rest day rolls around, I feel like I’ve been through a war! My all or nothing personality/mentality makes me want to exercise, but I know that I need the break. My body screams at me to take the break. And even as much as I want to exercise, I can’t imagine what it would be like to not take the day or rest at this point. It makes me want to cry just thinking about it. The good thing about the day of rest? I wake up the next morning and I’m ready to go. That one day is pure magic.
I’m holding my own with my eating. I’m trying to incorporate snacks into my day. I’ve been simply eating my three meals and calling it good. (yeah, I know….but it’s worked for me in the past and it’s still working). But I am really trying. SO I am incorporating snacks. Today it was really stressing me out. I got to work at 7:45…and I was sipping on my breakfast smoothie. I leave at 2. If I didn’t finish breakfast until 8:30, how in the world am I supposed to get a snack and lunch in before 2PM. And I certainly don’t want to eat lunch at 2 today. Ahhhh stress about a snack? Only me! I eventually decided that I would eat my morning snack at 10 (well I nibbled on my grapes for a while so it was longer) and I’m going to go to lunch at 12:30….can’t really push it too much later since I get off at 2. The one thing about the snacking thing…I’m not hungry…my lunches have been half eaten since I incorporated this new habit.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Excuses and opportunities
I’ve been thinking a lot about one subject of late. Excuses…..so here we go with another post about excuses.
Last night I was at zumba. We were doing some move across the floor and my ankle flipped and I stumbled. The pain was immediate. I lifted my foot and started rotating it to stretch it out and see what was up. The pain was sharp for a few minutes then abated. Now let me tell you, this is not a rare occurrence. My ankles do this somewhat regularly. Todd is used to it….happens when we go out walking and hiking…happens in zumba…it just happens. Last night I sucked in my breath with pain and waited for a few minutes for the pain to subside. It did finally drop to a dull roar and I recommenced with the exercise. It still pricked painfully for a song or two…but overall it was ok. As I moved on the foot that was a little achy I started to think about it. For years upon years I used this phenomenon as an excuse as to why I couldn’t exercise. Last night I wasn’t going to be swayed. If the pain was intense I would have stopped. If the pain wouldn’t have eased up I would have stopped. I’m not in this to injure myself. However, I can’t abide by the excuses anymore!
I have eradicated excuses from my vocabulary in the last few months. I’ve pushed through sickness. I’ve pushed through bad weather. I’ve pushed through all sorts of obstacles. There is nothing going to stop me right now.
Consequentially, I’m kind of getting really sick of hearing everyone else’s excuses. Suck it up buttercup. Seriously, the excuses as to why you can’t do something is getting OLD! I don’t care if your leg fell off….get up and run! (Oh hell, I sound like Jillian Michaels now) I’m not saying that there are never any valid excuses. Quite the contrary, I think there does come along a valid excuse on occasion. I think that the true valid excuses are rare and far between. We give up and use anything we can come up with as an excuse.
We don’t run because we are uncomfortable. We don’t go to an exercise class because we have the sniffles. We skip going to the gym because we are tired and don’t want to get out of bed. I’m sorry….exercise IS uncomfortable. EVERYONE gets sniffles….if you still go to work you are ok to workout. As for being tired….the gym and a good round of exercise is energizing….I’ve had a good workout eradicate a headache too! Excuses no longer hold a power over me.
So last night my friend Paula and I met up with a personal trainer. He’s just starting out. He had been looking for some people that would be willing to be trained by him…for free. In return we will give him feedback about his techniques. We will also submit to before and after pictures that he can use as he builds his business. (success stories…lol). I was somewhat skeptical when I agreed to it. I have my routines and I don’t want to mess it up. I made my commitment to run and that is important to me. I also really enjoy my zumba social hours and don’t want to totally throw them under the sacrificial bus. I also know that I’m a bit of a picky eater. Come on now, I eat very limited meats (only chicken or turkey maybe 2-3 times a week). I’m not a fan of milk….or yogurt. Mushrooms are nasty and eggs are ok, if they are in a cake, but plain…..blech! So it had to be someone that understood that and was willing to work within that. It also had to be someone that understood that food IS and always will be a part of my life. Telling me to give up pizza is not a valid way to change my lifestyle. Allowing me to learn how to manage it is the route that I want to go. Deprivation is not the way to go.
So we met. He is quite nice to look at…so I was impressed at the first moment. Ha ha When he found out about zumba and my running he made it very clear that he wanted those things to continue. In fact he is training to run a 10k and since Paula also is starting to run, he talked about the three of us doing a 5k together. So that was one hurdle crossed. He didn’t seem too phased by my eating preferences. Just kind of chuckled when I would say ‘eww’ at some suggestion. Each time he immediately rattled off some alternatives and seemed comfortable with my eating preferences. Ok, so there is another hurdle crossed. . Ha ha ha As for understanding that there WILL be food that while I could give up, I just don’t want to. He started to laugh. His words were “this is life, you have to live and have fun” and then he went on to talk about his addiction…..Oreo cookies…and proceeded to validate his words by showing us his kitchen cabinet with a few packages of Oreos in waiting. I laughed and said Pizza is one of my non-negotiables. He immediately asked if I’d had a certain restaurants pizza and seriously looked at me and said “you have to try it!” So he understands that this is life and not a quest for eating the most perfect and healthy foods 100% of the time. I felt quite comfortable with it. And of course did I mention that he’s quite easy on the eyes????? He is realistic in his plans for how long it will take us to lose the weight and seems like he is it in for the long haul with us (remember before and after pics to help build his portfolio).
So unless for some reason he rescinds his offer or fizzles out on his plans, I’m in. I talked to Todd about it when I got home. I told him the highlights of the evening. I then asked him what he thought. Right now I’m already committed to a few nights a week of zumba and of course I disappear a couple times a week to go running. Committing to working out with a trainer and working with a trainer on other weight loss aspects will take even more time, especially going up to mert him to workout...30 minutes each way fir me to get to town and my gym. My husband looked at me and said, You are going to have a personal trainer for a few months where you work out with him a few times a week and he is going to also help advise on diet and exercise and be there for you via text/email/fb the rest of the week….and you are asking me if it’s ok. He reminded me what this ‘deal’ would cost me were I paying for this. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity (well I could pay…but being free is a once in a lifetime). He said that he would help me work around the scheduling stuff. So I’m on board. We shall see how this goes.
Last night I was at zumba. We were doing some move across the floor and my ankle flipped and I stumbled. The pain was immediate. I lifted my foot and started rotating it to stretch it out and see what was up. The pain was sharp for a few minutes then abated. Now let me tell you, this is not a rare occurrence. My ankles do this somewhat regularly. Todd is used to it….happens when we go out walking and hiking…happens in zumba…it just happens. Last night I sucked in my breath with pain and waited for a few minutes for the pain to subside. It did finally drop to a dull roar and I recommenced with the exercise. It still pricked painfully for a song or two…but overall it was ok. As I moved on the foot that was a little achy I started to think about it. For years upon years I used this phenomenon as an excuse as to why I couldn’t exercise. Last night I wasn’t going to be swayed. If the pain was intense I would have stopped. If the pain wouldn’t have eased up I would have stopped. I’m not in this to injure myself. However, I can’t abide by the excuses anymore!
I have eradicated excuses from my vocabulary in the last few months. I’ve pushed through sickness. I’ve pushed through bad weather. I’ve pushed through all sorts of obstacles. There is nothing going to stop me right now.
Consequentially, I’m kind of getting really sick of hearing everyone else’s excuses. Suck it up buttercup. Seriously, the excuses as to why you can’t do something is getting OLD! I don’t care if your leg fell off….get up and run! (Oh hell, I sound like Jillian Michaels now) I’m not saying that there are never any valid excuses. Quite the contrary, I think there does come along a valid excuse on occasion. I think that the true valid excuses are rare and far between. We give up and use anything we can come up with as an excuse.
We don’t run because we are uncomfortable. We don’t go to an exercise class because we have the sniffles. We skip going to the gym because we are tired and don’t want to get out of bed. I’m sorry….exercise IS uncomfortable. EVERYONE gets sniffles….if you still go to work you are ok to workout. As for being tired….the gym and a good round of exercise is energizing….I’ve had a good workout eradicate a headache too! Excuses no longer hold a power over me.
So last night my friend Paula and I met up with a personal trainer. He’s just starting out. He had been looking for some people that would be willing to be trained by him…for free. In return we will give him feedback about his techniques. We will also submit to before and after pictures that he can use as he builds his business. (success stories…lol). I was somewhat skeptical when I agreed to it. I have my routines and I don’t want to mess it up. I made my commitment to run and that is important to me. I also really enjoy my zumba social hours and don’t want to totally throw them under the sacrificial bus. I also know that I’m a bit of a picky eater. Come on now, I eat very limited meats (only chicken or turkey maybe 2-3 times a week). I’m not a fan of milk….or yogurt. Mushrooms are nasty and eggs are ok, if they are in a cake, but plain…..blech! So it had to be someone that understood that and was willing to work within that. It also had to be someone that understood that food IS and always will be a part of my life. Telling me to give up pizza is not a valid way to change my lifestyle. Allowing me to learn how to manage it is the route that I want to go. Deprivation is not the way to go.
So we met. He is quite nice to look at…so I was impressed at the first moment. Ha ha When he found out about zumba and my running he made it very clear that he wanted those things to continue. In fact he is training to run a 10k and since Paula also is starting to run, he talked about the three of us doing a 5k together. So that was one hurdle crossed. He didn’t seem too phased by my eating preferences. Just kind of chuckled when I would say ‘eww’ at some suggestion. Each time he immediately rattled off some alternatives and seemed comfortable with my eating preferences. Ok, so there is another hurdle crossed. . Ha ha ha As for understanding that there WILL be food that while I could give up, I just don’t want to. He started to laugh. His words were “this is life, you have to live and have fun” and then he went on to talk about his addiction…..Oreo cookies…and proceeded to validate his words by showing us his kitchen cabinet with a few packages of Oreos in waiting. I laughed and said Pizza is one of my non-negotiables. He immediately asked if I’d had a certain restaurants pizza and seriously looked at me and said “you have to try it!” So he understands that this is life and not a quest for eating the most perfect and healthy foods 100% of the time. I felt quite comfortable with it. And of course did I mention that he’s quite easy on the eyes????? He is realistic in his plans for how long it will take us to lose the weight and seems like he is it in for the long haul with us (remember before and after pics to help build his portfolio).
So unless for some reason he rescinds his offer or fizzles out on his plans, I’m in. I talked to Todd about it when I got home. I told him the highlights of the evening. I then asked him what he thought. Right now I’m already committed to a few nights a week of zumba and of course I disappear a couple times a week to go running. Committing to working out with a trainer and working with a trainer on other weight loss aspects will take even more time, especially going up to mert him to workout...30 minutes each way fir me to get to town and my gym. My husband looked at me and said, You are going to have a personal trainer for a few months where you work out with him a few times a week and he is going to also help advise on diet and exercise and be there for you via text/email/fb the rest of the week….and you are asking me if it’s ok. He reminded me what this ‘deal’ would cost me were I paying for this. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity (well I could pay…but being free is a once in a lifetime). He said that he would help me work around the scheduling stuff. So I’m on board. We shall see how this goes.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Excuses
Thursday was a busy day for me.....Ran/jogged in the morning, worked for an hour in the garden and then walked after work for an hour! I rocked out the chocolate gear. Wilbur's Chocolate factory hat and a Reeses' cup shirt for my run...and I wore my Hershey Kiss hat for my evening walk!
I love to write. I have recently started a project. This new project is to basically write 'lessons learned' about my weight loss. I've got a few pieces written. Some is very introspective, others are more general. Today I was out jogging and I had some thoughts come to me. I went to work and I wrote.......this is the first draft, simply my first thoughts of what came out of my mind today.
EXCUSES
I love to write. I have recently started a project. This new project is to basically write 'lessons learned' about my weight loss. I've got a few pieces written. Some is very introspective, others are more general. Today I was out jogging and I had some thoughts come to me. I went to work and I wrote.......this is the first draft, simply my first thoughts of what came out of my mind today.
EXCUSES
I wasn’t paying attention to the TV that Sunday morning. I was working around the house while my husband watched the morning news. I don’t know what caught my attention but something did. Was it the word triathlon? I don’t know. I had long been interested in completing a triathlon as it seemed like the ‘ultimate’ sport…three things rolled into one. Was it the promise of getting my life in line health wise that caught my attention? I don’t know. Whatever it was, the news report caught my attention. I watched as they ran clips of the lucky chosen viewers from the previous year as they completed a transformation in their lives which culminated in them participating in a triathlon. I sat on the edge of my seat watching with interest. The report ended with the call for video applications. Yes, they were looking for a new group of people to work with to train for a triathlon that would take place in about 9 months. They would provide the tools and the training; I would simply need to provide the grit to complete the training and ultimately the triathlon. I sat there quietly. I didn’t say anything to anyone. The television continued to play, but my mind was stuck on the concept of becoming one of the tri-athletes for CNN. Over the next few days and weeks I spent a lot of time in thought about this possibility. I scoured the Internet for the I reports from the previous group of participants. My desire to apply and to actually do it increased each day. I finally broached the subject with a few people. I got the green light from everyone that I talked to. I made my video and submitted my name as a hopeful and then I waited. I wanted this. I wanted it so badly. I wanted to complete an item off of my bucket list but even more I wanted so badly to get my life in line. By the new year I knew that I didn’t make the cut. I was not chosen. I was disappointed. I felt hopeless. I didn’t feel as if I had any valid options to me on my own. I gave up. I felt like I had absolutely no chance to make the changes necessary…not with out the assistance that I would have gotten from CNN. I wasn’t despondent, life went on, but I threw my hands up in the air and consequentially gained more weight. A year went by. They called for a new round of applicants. I briefly contemplated applying once again. I didn’t do it though. I was still mired in my helpless pity party. Then one day I woke up, figuratively speaking. I knew that I wanted to be healthy and it didn’t matter what it would take. I was ready to pay any price. I started moving more. And then I started to run. It was slow going. I had to research information on my own. I didn’t have a coach standing at my side advising me. I did it on my own.. I started thinking about getting a road bike. I started saving my extra pennies so that I could buy an entry level road bike, and in the meantime have decided to be happy with my current bike. (and just stay off the roads) I didn’t start doing these with the goal of running a triathlon. I ran because I wanted to be healthy.
Excuses. I have always been full of excuses. I wasted one year of my exercise life by making excuses about why I couldn’t get out and train myself to participate in at least aspects of a triathlon. There was always an excuse. If it was the fact that I didn’t have the coaching I found another excuse. My knees are riddled with arthritis so they are a prime excuse. Housewife duties? They make great excuses also. Too cold? Too hot??? Rainy??? Snowing??? My gym (any gym really...living in the country is a pain sometimes) is about 20 minutes from my house... that is a huge excuse as to why I can’t work out. Give me more time and I can fill pages with the various excuses that I have used. Excuses were my best friend.
Are there valid excuses? I’m sure. Are there workarounds for almost any excuse? Yes. But it is truly amazing how the excuses fall away when you desire something from that deep place within your heart.
I’ve made this commitment to be healthy. I’ve made a commitment to really give running a valid fair shot as a part of my life. I want this healthy lifestyle more than I want anything else. (Maybe I should be honest and say that I want to be thin more than I want anything else.) Because that desire is so intense I am willing to push myself to great lengths to succeed.
I push my body out of its comfort zone on a continual basis. When you are pushing your body out of it’s comfort zone it is the perfect environment for change….good change. The problem? Being pushed out of it’s comfort zone means that most days I wake up and my body is stiff and sore. It’s different muscles at different times. It’s part of my life right now. I accept it as a necessary step to the rebirth of myself. Aching muscles are no longer a valid excuse.
Cold weather? I completed the c25K program and never, not once did the temperatures raise above 35 degrees. There were days that I ran with temps in the single digits and teens. There were days that I ran with snow falling around me and yes, I have run in the rain. Heat? Well, that’s rolling into my neck of the woods and I am out there sweating it up. The weather will NOT stop me. I may adjust my run schedule a bit to accommodate the weather as much as possible…but if I am scheduled to run three times in the week I WILL run those three times. (Even if it means going to the gym and running on the much hated treadmill.) Weather is not a valid excuse.
Arthritis? Yes, I was diagnosed with arthritis when I was about 28 years old. Arthritis in my knees. I take the steps that I need to in order to make sure that my knees don’t hurt. But not all precautions are foolproof. Yes, my knees hurt. I know why they hurt. I know that I’m not injured. I also know that the more weight I remove from my body, the less pain I will feel. (and consequentially the knees are what may ultimately make me decide that running is not my cup ‘o tea). Right now they are just an invalid excuse as to why I should stop. (Ironically, my knees are feeling good on my runs…..it was the Thirty day shred that ripped them up…….and I DID stop the thirty day shred for time and knee issues)
Excuses are no longer welcome in my world. Will I run in a triathlon? I don’t know what the future holds. I will say this…..if I decide to do it there will be NOTHING that holds me back! (And possibly could there be a duathlon in my future??? Hmmmm food for thought.)
I was running on the battlefield thinking about my failed attempt to be selected for the CNN triathlon training group. The usual disappointments flickered in my brain. But then I looked at my progress that I had made on my own. Maybe a year later, but I’m finally making progress! I am dang proud of myself. Furthermore, I instantly knew without a doubt that had I been picked a year and a half ago that I would have failed miserably. I didn’t have the drive and determination to succeed. I would have hated every minute of the pain. I would have tried to back out when my knees started to ache. I would have NEVER had the fortitude to run in bitter cold, with high winds and falling snow. I wasn’t ready and thus they made the best decision.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Excuses meets dedication
I'm still a bit congested, but really do feel well enough to exercise. I need to get my exercise mojo on. Tomorrow will be easy as I will be trying out a new exercise class. OK, it's new to me..... Masala Bhangra is the name. Hey, sounds like it could be a hoot. :-) It is an type of Indian Dance and I figure it will be worth a try out. Then of course Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday are my zumba days. So I just need to find the mojo to exercise today.
That said, I was totally floored this morning. The road I live on is a back road. It's narrow and dangerous in the BEST of conditions. We are plowed last and even when plowed the road remains pretty bad until nature takes care of the snow. This morning I was driving Todd to the studio and I was coming home. It was about 9 AM. I was taking my road slowly because of the treacherous conditions. And what should I see? A JOGGER? IN this weather! With snow on the ground!!! Jogging on small country snow covered road!! That my friends is dedication. I can't say that I will ever be that motivated. However, it really does go to show that my excuse of snow/cold/weather etc etc etc is a crock of doo doo!
Enough said...today is my stay home and vegetate on the couch (or in bed at times)day and I need to get back to that activity! :-) (well maybe after some xbox kinect!)
That said, I was totally floored this morning. The road I live on is a back road. It's narrow and dangerous in the BEST of conditions. We are plowed last and even when plowed the road remains pretty bad until nature takes care of the snow. This morning I was driving Todd to the studio and I was coming home. It was about 9 AM. I was taking my road slowly because of the treacherous conditions. And what should I see? A JOGGER? IN this weather! With snow on the ground!!! Jogging on small country snow covered road!! That my friends is dedication. I can't say that I will ever be that motivated. However, it really does go to show that my excuse of snow/cold/weather etc etc etc is a crock of doo doo!
Enough said...today is my stay home and vegetate on the couch (or in bed at times)day and I need to get back to that activity! :-) (well maybe after some xbox kinect!)
Monday, September 08, 2008
Thoughts, plans, goals and a little soul-searching
Let me get the bad and the ugly with first and foremost. I weighed in this morning at 186.6. YIKES! That is abominable! Utterly disgusting and sickening! That is way up! Much more than I prefer....I'm in the danger zone. (anything outside of 5 pounds from my lowest weight is danger done!!!!)
So I started really thinking deeply about where I am, where I want to be, and what has brought me to this point (long term and this short term situation). I've come up with a couple things.
The first thing is excuses. I use them way too much. If I work outside hard I use it as an excuse, "ohhh I worked hard, that means that I can have a little extra food, even though it's over my daily points". I also use the excuse in the morning. I had been so diligent about exercising first thing in the morning. I've gotten out of that habit. My excuse? "Well, Todd and I are planning on working outside this afternoon when I get off of work, I don't want to over do it". That is an excuse. There is no guarantee that we will work outside, and many times something comes up so that we end up NOT working outside or going for that 'walk' or 'ride' or whatever. I need to simply get my butt moving, do the exercise in the morning and get it over with. If I'm LUCKY, those tentative plans to work outside (manual labor/activity) or a walk, or a ride will materialize and I'll get a double workout that day! Working out twice is NOT going to hurt me!
Secondly, when my daily points are gone, I am done! No ifs ands or buts. I realized a long time ago in this journey with Weight Watchers that unfortunately, my body does not lose weight if I eat those 35 flex points. It just doesn't happen. These last weeks, I've not been bad. I've gone over my daily points by 3-5 a day. That should be perfect.......it's the flex points that I have at my disposal....but I gain! I can not eat them. So I need to eradicate them from my mind. If I DO eat something after that point, it sure as heck better be a zero point food item! Basically, when my dailies are done...I'm done. Period, end of story!
Next, WATER WATER WATER! The last few days I've been TERRIBLE with water! One day last week (Thursday) I was actually thirsty and I couldn't drink enough water! That is not a good position to be in. They say that by the time that you are thirsty, that you are already dehydrated! I tried to drink a lot the next day....but I don't' think I made a dent in the dehydration (just from watching for and knowing what to expect when I do start drinking and when my body does seem to finally agree that I'm giving it enough water). So Friday I did fairly well......and then Saturday came. I don't think I even drank 10 ounces of water. I did drink a can of diet Sunkist and I had a diet Pepsi at dinner....oh and lets not forget the chai latte that I had! What is up with that? Those are TREATS......a treat that I give myself when I've finished my water for the day!!! That is a steadfast rule!!! Sunday I did a little better. I did pretty much get 64 ounces down.....but I'm still watching and waiting for my body to give me the sign that it trusts me to drink enough water......it hasn't happened yet. I'm floating on at least 5 days of dehydration......with one or two days of attempts to end that situation stuck in there. DRINK DRINK DRINK!
I guess when I look at it and if I'm honest with myself I can say that I'm tired. I get tired of being diligent. So I slip up...my weight goes up a bit, it scares me, so I am diligent and get it back down a bit. And then the cycle starts again. I was hoping that my wager with my friend would help.....in the first 4 days, I've gained about 4 pounds! Uhhh what's wrong with that picture???? It's not the weight watcher program that is not working. It's me. I'm not working the program. Weight watchers works! I know what to do. I know what needs to be done and I'm doing it.......somewhat half-heartedly. But to have weight watchers actually work, it takes more than knowing what to do. It takes actually DOING it! Yes, it's been a good thing to see my results from this last year...to realize that I am pretty much maintain my current weight loss. However, I'm tired of sitting on the fence! I've been sitting here way too long. I need to decide which way I'm going to go. Am I going to lose more, or am I done?
I do not want to be done......I just need to get my head totally back in the right place......100% of the time. OK, I'm human 95% of the time!
So I started really thinking deeply about where I am, where I want to be, and what has brought me to this point (long term and this short term situation). I've come up with a couple things.
The first thing is excuses. I use them way too much. If I work outside hard I use it as an excuse, "ohhh I worked hard, that means that I can have a little extra food, even though it's over my daily points". I also use the excuse in the morning. I had been so diligent about exercising first thing in the morning. I've gotten out of that habit. My excuse? "Well, Todd and I are planning on working outside this afternoon when I get off of work, I don't want to over do it". That is an excuse. There is no guarantee that we will work outside, and many times something comes up so that we end up NOT working outside or going for that 'walk' or 'ride' or whatever. I need to simply get my butt moving, do the exercise in the morning and get it over with. If I'm LUCKY, those tentative plans to work outside (manual labor/activity) or a walk, or a ride will materialize and I'll get a double workout that day! Working out twice is NOT going to hurt me!
Secondly, when my daily points are gone, I am done! No ifs ands or buts. I realized a long time ago in this journey with Weight Watchers that unfortunately, my body does not lose weight if I eat those 35 flex points. It just doesn't happen. These last weeks, I've not been bad. I've gone over my daily points by 3-5 a day. That should be perfect.......it's the flex points that I have at my disposal....but I gain! I can not eat them. So I need to eradicate them from my mind. If I DO eat something after that point, it sure as heck better be a zero point food item! Basically, when my dailies are done...I'm done. Period, end of story!
Next, WATER WATER WATER! The last few days I've been TERRIBLE with water! One day last week (Thursday) I was actually thirsty and I couldn't drink enough water! That is not a good position to be in. They say that by the time that you are thirsty, that you are already dehydrated! I tried to drink a lot the next day....but I don't' think I made a dent in the dehydration (just from watching for and knowing what to expect when I do start drinking and when my body does seem to finally agree that I'm giving it enough water). So Friday I did fairly well......and then Saturday came. I don't think I even drank 10 ounces of water. I did drink a can of diet Sunkist and I had a diet Pepsi at dinner....oh and lets not forget the chai latte that I had! What is up with that? Those are TREATS......a treat that I give myself when I've finished my water for the day!!! That is a steadfast rule!!! Sunday I did a little better. I did pretty much get 64 ounces down.....but I'm still watching and waiting for my body to give me the sign that it trusts me to drink enough water......it hasn't happened yet. I'm floating on at least 5 days of dehydration......with one or two days of attempts to end that situation stuck in there. DRINK DRINK DRINK!
I guess when I look at it and if I'm honest with myself I can say that I'm tired. I get tired of being diligent. So I slip up...my weight goes up a bit, it scares me, so I am diligent and get it back down a bit. And then the cycle starts again. I was hoping that my wager with my friend would help.....in the first 4 days, I've gained about 4 pounds! Uhhh what's wrong with that picture???? It's not the weight watcher program that is not working. It's me. I'm not working the program. Weight watchers works! I know what to do. I know what needs to be done and I'm doing it.......somewhat half-heartedly. But to have weight watchers actually work, it takes more than knowing what to do. It takes actually DOING it! Yes, it's been a good thing to see my results from this last year...to realize that I am pretty much maintain my current weight loss. However, I'm tired of sitting on the fence! I've been sitting here way too long. I need to decide which way I'm going to go. Am I going to lose more, or am I done?
I do not want to be done......I just need to get my head totally back in the right place......100% of the time. OK, I'm human 95% of the time!
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