Have my cake and eat it too

As I'm embarking on this journey for the second time in my life.  I sit back and look at my first attempt at losing weight.  It was highly successful.  I managed to knock about 130-135 pounds off of my body. I was able to see myself at a thinner weight.  I was able to experience the joys of being thin.  I bought really cool clothes.  (that's what's it's all about isn't it?)   I stayed near my lowest weight for quite some time.  But ultimately,  I wasn't able to maintain.  Why?   I have tons of excuses.  I lost the support of my weight watchers meetings and the friends I had made at the meeting literally the same night I made goal. (they closed down my meeting and not other meeting would work well enough with my schedule for me to attend regularly...well one did...but after I started attending that one, they cancelled that meeting and combined it with another......I must be the kiss of death for weight watchers meetings!)  Vacation occurred...and well that is kinda self explanatory.  But you know what, I need to look at this realistically.  I can make excuse after excuse about why I failed.  But I need to delve deep and find the real culprit so that I can keep it from happening again.  So after looking deep, what did I find?  While losing the weight the first time around I was absolutely fanatical about my weight loss.  I said no to cake.  I said no to cookies.  I ignored fattening foods like they were the plague.  This is good because honestly, does anyone really need to eat those empty calorie fattening foods all the time?   No, we do not.  However, I forgot that this was life.   Serious deprivation.  I was single mindedly focused on losing weight so I didn't eat cake.  My treat if I had a few calories left over at night was to drink a small glass of fruit juice.....or to drink a diet soda.  Yeah, really.    So when I reached goal at weight watchers, I let out a sigh of relief and when we left for vacation shortly thereafter I cut loose.  I said to myself, "Well I'm at goal so I dont' have to worry about losing this week."  So when the waiter would ask if I wanted dessert I would promptly answer, "Why yes!"   It started me on a bad habit....without the support of the meeting I struggled to get my focus back.   I slipped NOT because  of vacation.   I slipped NOT because of the cancelled weight watcher meeting.  I slipped because I had not learned how to PROPERLY have my cake and eat it to!

So fast forward to years later.  It is January 15, 2013. (yesterday).  A customer here at the bank brought in a cake.  Her food is usually to die for.   She announced that it was eggnog flavored.  Seriously?  I've never had an eggnog cake.  I wondered what it tasted like.  I pondered it.  And then I decide.  This is NOT a deprivation.  This is NOT about me curling up in a corner and refusing to participate in life.  I went back to the counter and I got myself a piece of cake.  Did I blow my day?  Absolutely not.  Even while I was eating the cake, I had myfitnesspal pulled up on my computer screen in front of me and I was looking at what adjustments I could make to the rest of the day to make this work.  It was actually easier than I though because since I had the cake at 11:30, I really wasn't all that hungry for the food in my lunch box.  I ate my green beans and I ate the carrots out of my lunchbox and left the rest and with just a bit of tweaking to my dinner menu, I was fine.  (conversely I would have been fine anyway because I knew that I was going to zumba and that I hadn't planned on utilizing those earned exercise calories..)   I literally had my cake AND ate it too!  And guess what....it WORKED.  I did do zumba and I also added 30 minutes on the exercise bike (just cuz I wanted to, not because I felt guilty or felt like I needed to) and this morning, I couldn't resist....a sneak peak on the scales shows me down further!  :-)  (ps sorry for the crappy cake picture...but hey, I was in the middle of savoring that delicious goodness and couldn't be bothered to stop for a better picture...and yes, I savored EVERY morsel....SLOWLY!)

The trick of this path that I am on is contingent upon one main thing.  I have to know my level of focus and determination before I make the choice to do something like have a piece of cake.  I made cookies last week. I still lost 3 pounds.  How?  Because I felt strong and knew that I could stop at one cookie.  I ate the cake because I KNEW that I could adjust enough to work it into my food plan.  Next week a co-worker is leaving.  On her last day we are having a potluck to bid her adieu.  They asked me what I was bringing.  They stared at me as they waited for the answer.  I honestly didn't know what to say.  Finally I answered.  "If I'm feeling strong, I'll make cookies or something snacky....if I'm feeling weak, I'll be bringing a bag of chips or something that doesn't require me to resist temptation as greatly as baking cookies does"   That my friends sums it up.  Shazaam!