The jury is in

So yesterday I was debating a run at the gym after work.    I hate the treadmill...but I knew that I was  3.66 miles behind Jason in the mileage challenge and that if I didn't run I very well would fall helplessly and hopelessly behind if he ran today.   But I really didn't want to do it!

I changed my clothes at work so that I didn't have any thought, excuse or even time to pause.   I wanted to drive right there and just get it over with!!!!

I did it!!!

Yes I did say that I was 3.66 behind.  It was no coincidence that I stopped running when I was one hundredth of a mile ahead of him.   

So this morning....I knew he was planning on running....I had to run!!!!   4.53 miles later and I was shot!!!!  My legs were done!!!

So I sit at 4.54 miles ahead.  Let's see if I that's enough for the win!!!

My eating is pretty well under control at the moment.   I'm just working on being 'normal' with eating.  Nothing crazy in either direction...normal!!!!

What if a dog were chasing you?

Amazing!  That’s all I can say.  A week or so ago  I realized that I had to put a LOT of miles on my body in a very short amount of time (for me at least).  I attacked it with an optimistic hope and view.  I could do this.  12 miles a day wasn’t that bad….right?   Not a problem!   I started….riding daily, trying to knock in a few extra miles here and there with walks and runs.  I started to chip away at the mountain that I found before me.  I saw the miles that I still needed to drop away.  Yet on Monday I allowed doubt to fill me.  I was ready to quit.  I didn’t quit and I’m happy to say that I have completed my mileage.  In fact I completed it with two days to spare!!!!!!

 

A week or so my brother was talking to me.  I made a comment about hills being my nemesis.  I HATE hills.  SERIOUSLY!   I mentioned a ride a few weeks back. In this ride I attacked the hilly section of the battlefield.    I made if up the worst hills and was just attacking the gently (ha…nothing is ‘gently rolling’ on a bike) rolling hills that cropped up every time I blinked.  I mentioned my need to stop half way up the hill due to the fact that I was struggling to carry enough speed to stay upright (yes, I started to fall).  My brother had one comment for me.   “I bet you would have flown up that hill if a dog was chasing you!”

 

That comment made me think.  Yes, if my options were to ride like the wind up a hill or be bitten by a dog, I’d have to say that my adrenaline and body would not even think about how tired I was and I’d be FLYING.   (On the other hand, maybe I’d just lay there and let the dog maul me…ha ha ha….JUST JOKING)   So these thoughts were floating through my mind for a few days.

 

Then I read a book called Finding Ultra  by Rich Roll.  In this book Rich tells the story about how he had abused his body for years and on the eve of his 40^th birthday he had an epiphany and realized that he had to change his life….drastically and without delay.   He changed his diet and while the book does expound on the benefits of his chosen diet, it was the exercise that touched me.  You see, he dreamt big.  REALLY big.  He started riding and running and picked back up swimming (a sport from his youth).  He bypassed the marathons and century rides.  He bypassed the triathlons and even the Ironman competitions.   He attacked an ultraman race.   Haven’t heard of this race?   Well, lets start by saying it is an unsupported race. You don’t have hydration stations.  You have to provide your own crew.     Not a biggie right?  This is a three day race.  Day one is 6.2 mile swim in the open water followed by a 90 mile bike ride (including 6000 feet of climbing).  That about sums up day one.   Day two is a simple leisurely bike ride of …ohhh nothing short of 171.4 miles (including 4000 feet of climbing).   Ready to quit yet?   Day three is the running portion.  It’s a pretty much a double marathon…don’t know how many miles that is?   52.4 miles.  This was the premiere one of a kind, invitation only event that offered no prize money, only personal satisfaction.  (they have since added a few ‘qualifying ultraman events’). 

 

This race really isn’t about the numbers (although I know that people give heir eyeteeth to win it). It really is about beating yourself.  It’s about persevering through personal pain and the mental challenges. 

 

So anyway, this guy Rich did it.  He pushed through odds and pain that the average person can’t even begin to think about.  He ran that race not once, but twice.  He also talks about completing 5 Ironman courses in a week.   This guy was in great shape, but what spoke to me most was that he also had the mental fortitude that is needed to push through the pain.

 

“When you believe you've reached your absolute limit, you've only tapped into about 40 percent of what your truly capable of.  The barrier isn't the body.  It's the mind.”    David Goggins

 

So reading this book on the heels of my brothers comment really hit me squarely in the forehead.  It reminded me that this battle to get better at running and on my bike is a fight not in my body…but rather in my head….it’s not my body giving out, it’s my head!

Who'd have Thunk?

Todd and I were both off yesterday afternoon and we spent the day running errands and trying to get everything we need for some of the big 'projects' that we hope to complete very soon.  (Some shelves, a raised flower bed, and the biggie...a patio...which includes getting the hot tub into place on the patio and getting it wired and running).  We ran around in the rain and had a good day.  We debated long and hard about where to eat for lunch.  We eventually decided to go to a place that we hadn't gone in ages.  However it was a place we remembered well, you see in our 'I don't care' stage which coincided with the 'mega chain restaurants are good' stage we ate there a lot.   Yes, we decided to go to Uno's.  I sat down and got the salad and quickly decided on an individual cheese pizza.  Nothing major right?   I was hungry so I'll freely admit that I ate my whole portion.   Do you see where this is going?   I of course didn't even THINK to put my calories into myfitnesspal until I had a break in the activities (which means I was sitting in the car waiting for Todd for some unremembered reason).   I put the meal in.....and it was a good thing I was sitting down!

The individual deep dish tomato and cheese pizza is 1750 calories.   That did not include my salad!   Holy freakin' cow!   Seriously?   I aim to eat 1200 calories a day......combined for the WHOLE day.  I just not only blew my daily calories in one meal but I had gone over my calories by well well over 500 calories!   And of course, I had eaten breakfast and seriously...it was noon when I ate, I KNEW that I would be eating dinner.  Come on now.....     Oh, and we had already stopped at Sweet Frog for a little cup of frozen yogurt so I couldn't drop that from my calories to try to keep my caloric expenditure as low as possible.

So how did I handle the rest of the day?  I still ate dinner.  I couldn't skip, that would have just set me up for failure today.  I chose to not beat myself up over it.  I made a mental note to not do daily weigh ins until Saturday.  I chose to move on....accept what was done.  Accept that life happens and move on.   This is life and I'm LIVING it!

In other news.  I am 23 miles from making my mileage goal for this month.  (Thanks to a ride on the exercise bike last night......I don't get as good of a workout on the exercise bike at home.....and I feel  a bit like I'm cheating when I ride it...but it is still miles.....it is still movement....and I"m counting it!!  And oh yeah, I HATE riding inside!)   As soon as I hit the publish button on this post (or very soon thereafter)  I'll be changing my clothes and heading out on the bike.  I"m hoping to get at least the same 13 miles that I did the other day....that would put me at 10 miles left.....I'm supposed to walk at work with  a coworker on my lunch break...so there will be about 2 miles....and I'm scheduled to go walking with Sherry tonight.  We go anywhere from 2 miles to 5 miles....but typically about 3.  So I could conceivably end my day with 5 miles left! 

update:   I just got back from my ride.  19.29 miles in the hopper.  If my scheduled walks go off at the projected mileage I could finish this TODAY!

Happy

I weighed myself this morning.  I was 213.1.  Drat….one pound away from that elusive 10 pound gone goal.  No fear.  I WILL conquer it!  (plus this will give me more time to look for that perfect charm!)

On Monday night I walked with Sherry and I admitted to her that I was having serious doubts about completing my mileage goals for this month.  Yeah, I’ve literally ridden or otherwise propelled myself about one hundred miles (ok, I think  as of right now it is 89 miles…but seriously, don’t we all round up in that case?) in the last week to put myself in spitting distance of this mileage goal.   I was fighting that fat mini me that was telling me to quit.  Why bother.   The fat mini me was telling me that “You are tired” and “seriously why does it matter anyway?”  I was starting to listen to the voice.  

Once I voiced it with Sherry and she gave me her support (Thanks Sherry…you are tops!) it was out in the open.  I can’t say that I was gung ho to finish the challenge after our talk…but I DID get on the exercise bike and knocked out a few miles last night.  And this morning I got up and rode.  After my ride this morning I find myself with 37.57 miles left to complete before midnight Saturday night.  That is about 9.39 each of the remaining 4 days.  I can do this if I ride each and everyday.  My walk with Sherry on Thursday eveningis extra…as is my planned lunch time walk with Shantel at work on Thursday.  Maybe with those extra miles I can finish this up on Friday and be one day early!!

My ride this morning was a good one.  I just felt good.  Yeah, my legs screamed at me a few times.  Yeah, my right wrist kept going numb.   Yeah I was breathing hard on a few of the hills.  But you know what? It was a damn good ride!   And the numbers proved it!

I screeched to a halt (ok, my bike doesn’t screech…but it sounded so awesomely dramatic didn’t it?) in my drive way and whipped out my cell phone that was tracking my stats through the app mapmyride (That is the app/website that I use to track my progress).  I glanced down at the numbers while I wheeled my bike onto the deck.  I started grinning from ear to ear.   I added almost 2 miles to my ‘typical’ distance today and pushed myself over the number that I wanted to see today.  I then noticed my average speed. Yup…I’m the killer!  I’ve been averaging about 12.5 and today I knocked out a 13.2 average speed.  WEEEE

DONUTS

Sometimes things happen for a reason.  Seriously, they do!  I’m going to just say one last time…July has been the month from H E double hockey sticks!    It’s been a disaster emotionally and physically.  I ate and ate and ate.  I gained a total of 1 pound for the month of July.  It could have been worse (thank God for the flu).  I can use excuses about the restricted exercise.  I can use excuses about the emotions that kicked me A$$.  I can do all of that, but I have to also admit that I was like a shark in  chum filled water.  It was a feeding frenzy that grew a little more crazy each day.   No more.  I want to get to my goal and I know how to do it!

When the doctor told me I had a debilitating and life threatening injury that would prevent me from running or doing anything high impact I was bummed out.  My running was progressing.  I was seeing progress in my running.  I was having some fast paced runs. Seriously, I was starting to rival Jackie Joyner Kercee  in speed.  (shut up….. I know that I’m old and out of touch with the current stuff….but that’s the only runner I could think of!)  I was flying on my runs.  I was even breaking a 12 minute mile on some of my good runs.  OK, so maybe I was only rivaling her in my head, but the victory to me was just the same.  It was only a few months earlier that I couldn’t even run 60 seconds without feeling as if I was going to collapse in a heap of sweaty fat on the side of the road.  I had gotten to the point where I could run straight without stopping. I had pushed myself through the ‘You can’t do this’ mentality and starting just doing it.  I was starting to see my average pace drop.  I was DOING IT.    I had broken my goal of running a 5k in less than 40 minutes…in fact I blew my goal out of the water.   I was registered for the Krumpes Donut Alley Rally.   In case you don’t know what Krumpes is….Krumpes has been a tradition in my family for longer than I’ve been around.  My parents would leave church on Sunday nights (way back int he 70's)  and swing down to this little alley donut shop that was open from late evening until early morning and pick up donuts.  When my parents left Hagerstown to go to Bible College and work in the ministry as a preacher and preachers wife, we would still visit family in Hagerstown,  Krumpes donuts were a staple on each visit.  Eventually we moved back to this area and my brother introduced his kids to the love of a Krumpe Donut.  So when I heard that Krumpes was doing a 5k I KNEW it was one I wanted to do.  In fact, I wanted to do this run before I even started running seriously.  This is the epitome of running. (and they BETTER give me a free donut after I flail around acting like I’m running!)  Anyway, I registered for this run a few months back.  In fact, this is the run that I based my future running off of.  I’ve said over and over that I will give running a go until August 9^th…..I will reevaluate at that time.  Ever wonder why August 9^th?   Well, because that’s the date of the Donut Alley Rally!  I wanted to do this run.  I NEEDED to do this run.  So when the doctor told me on July 3^rd that I shouldn’t be doing anything that was remotely high impact and to even limit walking for 4-6 weeks I was panicked.  That put me RIGHT at the Donut Alley Rally.  I waited….I watched.  I tried the sleeping boot.  I tried the shoe inserts, I bought the slip over arch supports.  I started taping my foot.  I iced and simultaneously rolled my foot on a frozen water bottle.  I stopped wearing heels.  I stopped any activity that caused an impact.  About a week or two I bought new running shoes.  I was getting antsy to recommence with running.   Yesterday I started to run.  My foot isn’t 100% well…but I’ve got a race to run.   I’m only giving myself a week and a half to prepare for it after exactly 5 weeks away from running.  So while I talked for a while about aiming for a new PR on the Donut Alley Rally, I will be running it to just plain and simply run it.  My goal is to finish it at this point.   

Oh, and my reevaluation about running….I’m going to continue.  

This upcoming race stressed me out for a while.  I wanted to run it so bad and I sat nursing an injury….trying to learn how to manage it and cause it to ease up.  I eventually said, ok…the event is raising money for a good cause one that escapes my memory at this time, so my money isn’t going to be wasted if I don’t run it.   That made me feel a bit better.   But this morning when I was running I realized that being preregistered for this race was a good thing…just as having the injury was a good thing.

The injury was good because it forced me to get out on my bike and push through the pain of ridinga road bike versus a mountain bike.  This was made easier since biking was my sole form of exercise (that could be because I was too lazy to make it to the gym to use the elliptical….oops).   Being preregistered for the race has motivated me to push myself.  Some may say I started back too early….but seriously, how long must one wait…because I know the old Maryfran would have waited until 6 years after the last twinge of pain had left my body.

Yesterday morning's run left me with 4.09 miles left to complete in July.  There was NO FREAKING WAY that I was going to miss my mileage goal by 4.09 miles.  I knew that Wednesday was to be a zumba day and that there was a good chance that I would get a short walk in with my husband but nothing NEAR the 4.09 miles….so I got off work at 6, ran to the pharmacy to pick up my husbands medicine, went to a store and picked him up a snack and then stopped him off his snack, drink and meds.  Then I rushed home to gear up like Lance Armstrong (albeit one without drugs in my system) and head out to get a few miles under my belt. Oh wait, it was getting late so I ended up gearing up and riding my exercise bike like a wild woman.  7.5 miles down..and my mileage goal is COMPLETE!!!!  YAY!!!!!


This morning....weighed myself and my weight is DROPPIING!   ~~cue angels singing~~