10 week Challenge Week 1 Recap

 I started my 10 week challenge one week ago.  The week has flown by and it is time to share my progress!  If you are doing the challenge with me, let me know in the comments how you did!

 To start with, I will go ahead and recap quickly what the 10 week challenge is.  There are 4 basic parts.  Food, water, cardio and a few strength moves to be done 5 days a week with two days of rest built in (or two days with extra opportunity to get more movement).  The strength moves are easy and focus on functional movement.(you can download the chart here)

 Cardio

I totally nailed the cardio aspect of this challenge. I got my cardio and completed each of the five 'required' week days cardio workouts.   On the weekend I didn't do any formal exercise routine but rather  stayed busy with life and yard work and other manual labor things.  (I used the push mower and did all the trim work, I weeded a LOT, I moved downed tree branches to the burn pile, took mulch from our big pile and mulched a complete path, etc.  )

Admittedly, there was a one day (Day one actually) were the cardio just about killed me.  OK, killed is rather dramatic!   But seriously, that day I was NOT feeling it and wanted to quit every one of those 20 minutes!  But I stayed consistent and completed it.  The only thing that kept me from quitting was this 10 week challenge!

While I did have my day of struggle, I also had some victorious days where I went above and beyond to complete 40-50 minutes of cardio.  Some in one sitting and once with a double workout! (Once before work and once after work, for 20 minutes a piece.)

Water

I nailed my water consumption also!  Totally nailed it.  I did so well on this that toward the end of the week I went from 64 ounces of water consumption to 80 ounces.  I did have a few issues with bathroom trips in the middle of the night on one day when I didn't get my water done early enough in the day. My typical plan for water is to drink the bulk of my water during the day and to be done heavy drinking by 5PM.  I still drink in the evening, but not as much.  This has historically always been the trick to keep me from getting up a gazillion times in the night for a potty break. I didn't do that one night this week and I lived to regret it with multiple bathroom trips that interrupted my sleep.  But I learned my lesson and didn't do that again! 

Strength

As you can see from the above chart the strength stuff is really just functional movements.   I am embarrassed to admit how difficult these have become for me.  There was a day just a few short years ago that these movements were NOTHING.   I remember when Jason and I were talking about planks one day in our early days of dating.  We did a plank challenge to see who could hold it the longest.  I lowered to a plank and  held it....and held it....and held it.  Minutes upon minutes.  No shaking, no quaking no struggle.  I just held that plank.  This week I discovered that my plank ability has disappeared.  5-10 seconds was a struggle.  How sobering is that?

It wasn't just the plank that was difficult. The sit ups and crunches were tough and the wall sits were murder.    I don't know why I was so shocked at how difficult they had really become.  If I am being honest with myself, simple functional movement in life has become quite difficult for me in the last year.   It was seemingly overnight that it became difficult for me to kneel and then stand again.   Even sitting down and standing again has felt like a lumbering chore.   It has freaked me out.  It happened overnight.  I'm only 51! I'm too young for that!  This challenge is a place to start to regain that movement!

It was difficult, but I completed my week of movement for this aspect of the 10 week challenge.  I may have had to do my planks in 5 second intervals.  My push-ups may have been the sissy version and barely a push up at that.    I may have been shaking and struggling on the wall sits and my sit ups and crunches may have not been perfect or even correct.  But I did them!

Food and the Scales

I did great with my eating!  I kept my calories within the proper range each and every day.   I had a few struggles through the week, but I kept it under control.  I was so super proud of myself!   So how in the world did I manage to only maintain my weight?    I was sure that I was going to show a loss!  How could it be anything else?   Yet, the weight didn't budge.  (In fairness, it didn't go up either, which is a good thing!)

How disappointing!  How demoralizing!  How utterly horrible!

On to week Two of the 10 Week Challenge

I'm not letting it get to me though.  I made great first steps toward regaining some of the mobility that has been slowly slipping away.  I have been drinking my water.  I've been exercising.  And my food has been controlled.   What I did would have been enough to see BIG losses in past years.  However, it's not working for me now.  My body and hormones are adjusting, so that means I need to adjust also.   I just need to tweak one or two things to start losing.  I can't blame it on anything other than my food this time because I've gotten all the components for success in place.  So food is where I am focusing.

My first thought was to up my protein.  I've heard protein is huge for a woman of my age.  So I did my research to see how much a 51 year old woman should be eating.  I then went to Myfitnesspal to see what my recommended daily amount was. (It was the same.)   I then looked at my past week to find out where my stats lay.   I was pretty spot on with my protein.   There may have been one day that was a bit lower.  But for the most part I was spot on.  So I knew that protein was not the issue. (However, I will continue to monitor and try to increase wherever I can.)

So that left me with my second thought.   Calories.   I have long kept my calories at a low level.  1200-1500 is my range (and honestly, I prefer to keep them 1200-1300 for weight loss).     Now immediately, I know that some people will be like 'well that is your problem, it's too low".  BUT, I have long tried to hold on to some semblance of normalcy.  I am already hyper focused on tracking my food, I wanted to retain some sense of freedom by not weighing and measuring every bite of food I eat.  So for me, the lower calorie count is my way or allowing myself to not measure everything and to not worry about counting that squirt of ketchup or drizzle of chocolate syrup.  It has historically worked for me, so I had no thoughts that it wasn't working.  But clearly SOMETHING is not working.  So, the goal for this upcoming week is to measure, weigh and count EVERYTHING.   It's possible I will need to do this long term.  However, it is possible that I just need a reset of my mental judgement for measurements and portion sizes.

Honestly, I am NOT looking forward to this.  I have always resisted losing this last piece of freedom.  But it is what it is!   I want change to occur, so that means I need to change.   Crazy that that thought of change came to me a few days ago.....and this disappointment on the scale that has forced me to look at myself and forced  ME to change.   I don't like the view of where my life is going without change.......so I will change myself to change my future!

Fred , Oh Finicky Fred - Sourdough Experiences

In the true typical MaryFran trend of jumping from hobby to hobby and constantly picking up something new that 'looks interesting and I really should know how", I decided to try to perfect a sourdough bread.  OH yes, I did.

I researched and I totally realized that I could buy sourdough starter from a variety of places online.  For that matter, I could get sourdough starter from any number of people.  However, isn't that cheating in the grand scheme of  learning how to do it from start to finish?   It seemed relatively simple, mix water and flour and let sit 24 hours.....repeat.   And keep repeating until it is consistently doubling in size after you feed it.   I was all in!  I even went out and ordered a really neat little sourdough starter kit.  This was going to be a breeze!

Except it was not.  My first attempt wouldn't grow.  I lovingly fed that sucker religiously.  I watched it daily as it sat on my counter waiting for the magic bubbles to indicate active and natural yeast in the starter.  I waited in vain for over a week and it never got the bubbles or doubled.  I just wouldn't grow!  I researched more, adapted some new techniques and tried again.  I was still clinging to hope that my first round would experience a miracle and start to show signs of life so I kept that one going while I started round two.   I now had two jars of starter that I cared for every morning. This time was going to be the magic, I just knew it!   Every day while I would tend to them Jason would come into the kitchen and excitedly ask if we had any signs of life.   Dejectedly, I would have to respond with negative shake of my head.  

I watched more videos and read more articles.  Everything and everyone talked about how sourdough was so forgiving, hard to kill and easy to feed and keep alive.  Yet, here I was with two jars of seemingly dead starter.  I was undaunted and started a THIRD jar of starter, trying new techniques that I had learned.  (A quick perusal of sourdough starter instructions will show you that everyone does it a bit differently, with 'great success'.)    By this time I was going through flour faster than a bakery at Christmas!  Because every day I was adding four and water to each of these jars (and doing a daily discard so that my amount of sourdough starter didn't get out of hand).  Surely one of them would be magical!     By the time another week had passed with no growth in ANY jar, I had decided that enough was enough.   Jars one and two were emptied and I started yet another jar of starter. Jars three and found had my full attention.  Jar three never accounted to much. But  finally, by some stroke of benevolence that fourth jar worked!   

I was so happy, I had active starter.  However, this starter didn't seem to grow EVERY day, it had days where it seemed angry with me.  If I changed it to a different container (as in the special container I bought at the very beginning) it would not grow and double.  If I missed the normal feeding time, it wouldn't double in size for the next two feedings (feeding is what you call the act of adding more flour and water).  If I fed it anything other than Rye flour, it wouldn't double in size.  This starter was anything but easy, it was downright finicky!   I started to call it Finicky Fred.  Of course Jason kept telling me that if it was finicky it must be a female.  ha 

I attempted to use the discard a few times, once by making pop tarts (which turned out way too sour to really enjoy) and once by making crackers (they weren't too bad).   I then tried to make a loaf of bread.  It was super tasty, but a little dense.   Fred showed his displeasure by not rising the day or two after I  made the bread.  (I kid you not....it's insane).    I stayed faithful to Fred.  I kept feeding him the rye flour.  I used jars that he liked.  I kept my feeding schedule as consistent as humanly possible.   I was determined to make Fred a nice strong starter.

Finally this past week I decided to switch to a whole wheat flour for a feeding (seriously Rye flour is a pain to find and is a bit more expensive).    Fred did GREAT!   I pulled some of the starter out and I set about making sourdough english muffins and Fred performed well!  My dough rose and the english muffins turned out great.  Even better  when I fed Fred afterward, he doubled! 

Hopefully finicky Fred is past his finicky stage and I can move on to making all sorts of fun things!  He may not be finicky any longer

, but the name Fred has stuck! 

Change

 

This dog

 Zoey was a fun addition to our little family.  And sometimes she is adorable!  But sometimes this dog drives me to insanity.   She can swing wildly between the angel dog behavior  and the devil dog persona at the drop of a hat!

While at work I noticed Mertz the cat sleeping with her feet pushed up against the foot board.   Of course I had to take a picture of her.   

Which of course woke her up. But hey, she was still cute. This was in my office/spare room where Zoey is not allowed.  Not because I don’t want the dog in there, but because the office is the cats dog free zone.   Zoey sits at the baby gate in the door so she can be as close to me as possible during my work day.  So she of course noticed me taking a picture of the cat.  She was immediately jealous.

For the next hour or two, this is what I saw.

Yes, Zoey had pushed her big fat head through the cat door in the car and sat there giving me the saddest look to make me feel guilty for paying attention to the cat and not her.

Awwwww  how sweet.

But remember I mentioned devil dog.   I was working on the strength moves that are part of my 10 week challenge.  The dog doesn’t like me doing anything on HER floor.  She made planks difficult the other day.  Today it was the situps/crunches that caused her to flip to the other side!    

Meanwhile, I have aced 3 almost four days  of my 10 week challenge!  Go me!   

My First Day and a downloadable plan

I am not waiting for the month of August to officially begin for my challenge.  I am making this a true 10 week challenge and starting today!

 

The link for the plan  can be found here and join me on this adventure!

It is only 5:30 AM and I have already knocked out my 20 minutes of cardio.   Monday mornings are so difficult for me to workout early.  I just want to curl up on the couch and send out silent laments about how the weekend is over!  Today's early morning workout  was extra difficult due to my extremely busy day yesterday.  I spent the day in the kitchen yesterday.  I baked homemade pretzel rolls, cheese crackers and  blueberry cinnamon swirl muffins.  I pulled out my canner and all my canning supplies and made a batch of orange jelly, a batch of corncob jelly (sounded interesting) and a few batches of zucchini relish.   We also ran a few errands and took the dog to Tractor Supply for a bath (which takes over an hour).  And of course I made dinner.   I was wiped out and my body felt it this morning with a sore lower back.    So while I was exercising, I wanted to stop and just say 'not today'.   But I pushed through to complete my 20 minutes!

I have pre-planned my foods for today. I have it all entered into myfitnesspal.  So food should be easy.  I just have to  eat what  planned!  

I have my first 32 ounces of water beside me already and  I am ready to kick the water consumption into high gear!

But first, I am going to chill on the couch with the dog and hang out with Jason until he heads out to work.

10 Week Fitness and Health Challenge

It is time to challenge myself!  And I am going to challenge you too!  This is a 10 week challenge that will be easy to follow and will open the doors to amazing success and progress in our health and fitness journeys!   So join me and lets do this!

 

 Back in 2021 I embarked upon a 12 week plan.  It was a simple plan that I did right about the same time of the year.   I was 12 weeks away from eloping with Jason (one of the best kept secrets I have ever had) and  I wanted to be in good shape for our vacation (which was when we actually tied the knot.....you can read about that experience here) .   I started a 12 week plan that focused on 5-10 minutes of strength training, a burst of cardio, eating within my plan and drinking my water.  (You can read about my 12 week challenge and plan here.)  I followed it and I had some success with it.  (I lost 12 pounds).   

It was super easy to follow!  The strength training portion I was able to do on my 15 minute break from work!   Yes, it was that quick! (notice I didn't see the workout was easy.....push ups are hard for me and surprisingly the wall sits would have my legs shake).   It seemed perfect for me at the time.  Not a huge time commitment but a promise for some positive progress.   

So here I am 3 years (almost to the day) later and I have gained some weight.  And I am not happy with the weight gain.  Not happy at all!  I know that I need to so something to get this weight off!  I need a challenge!  I thought about quite a few things.  Should I do the 75 hard?   Should I do zumba?  Running?  A healthy wage challenge?  What?  I was ready to pull the trigger on a 75 hard and was actually looking at times and time frame and realized that I didn't have 75 days until vacation.  (For some reason I like the idea of a challenge before vacation).  Once I brought the concept of vacation into the mix I realized that i have 10 weeks until vacation!   So a 10 week challenge was born in my mind.    I also knew that I would need a posse of peeps with me as accountability partners!  So while I am calling this my 10 week challenge, I am also referring to it as the August through September Challenge! (that way there is a day or two to gather some peeps to join me!)   So whatever it is to you, 10 weeks or two months.....join me!  Help me.  Help yourself.  And lets see what results we can get!

So what does this challenge entail?  Not a whole lot!   

1.  Follow a healthy plan for eating (if that is WW, calorie counting, intuitive eating or whatever you do.....just follow it).   For me, that is currently counting calories and keeping my calories in my desired range with one 'vacation' day each week.  You may call it a cheat day, but I think cheat is a negative word...so I have vacation days!   It doesn't matter what plan you follow, just follow it!  

2  Drink water!  64 ounces a day!  

3.   Complete 20 minutes of cardio 5 times a week.  Once again, it doesn't matter what you do.  If you like zumba, go for it!  Are you a runner?   Then get out there and run.  Bikes?   Yes that works too!  I will probably do a combination of things, zumba step aerobics and maybe, just maybe a bit of running. (I seriously do miss running).     20 minutes is the minimum.  If you have the time and the energy and the gumption feel free to do 30 minutes..or 40..or 60.   Whatever your heart desires.   Just get the bare  minimum of 20 minutes!

4.  Strength training.   I have a plan worked up.  This is the plan that you can do in 5-10 minutes each day.  Simple and easy to follow!   5 times a week!  

The plan is set up with two rest days.   So you will only do the strength stuff 5 days a week.   If you want to do your cardio the same 5 days that is fine, but I do highly recommend giving your body a rest here and there!

I will be posting on my youtube channel also about this challenge.  I will also be posting daily on my facebook page.  https://www.facebook.com/BelievinginMaryFran/   I would like to invite you go join me there so that we can encourage each other.  (Even if you don't join me on this challenge, feel free to join so that I can encourage you and you can help inspire me!)

Nothing left to it but to do it!  Lets see what we can accomplish in 10 weeks.  I would LOVE to see 20 pounds gone.....2 pounds a week.  But any loss during this time will be a victory!  Even better though, 12 weeks of cardio and these strength exercises and I will be STRONGER!   That will be a great win!  So lets do it!!!!

 

 

So much to say

 I have so much to say!   I have had so little time to actually say (write) it!  It seems as if life just keeps going faster and faster and crazier and crazier.    I set out to make July ‘my’ month in terms of health and fitness.   I had a doctor’s appointment with the gastro doctor..  We had a sale at mom’s house.  Zoey continues to grow and entertain.  So much to talk about, and yet I’ve failed to write.  So here we go, a big catch up!

Mom’s House

We prepped the house and stuff that is left for a sale.  A ‘bakers’ sale if you must.  We planned to have the sale inside and just open the doors for anyone to come on in and purchase.  So on the 20th, we pulled it off.  We didn’t do too bad.  We sold a fair amount…there is still a fair amount of stuff left.  It’s like the house has this magic act that for every item you take out of it, two more will appear!  Ok, it seemed like that at first, the more we cleared out, the more there was.  It’s not that bad anymore, but there is still a fair amount of stuff left.   Small stuff.  Lots of baking pans and utensils.  That kind of thing.  We are getting there.  Slowly but surely.

July, my Restart

Yes, July was supposed to be my month of great new beginnings.  And honestly, I totally nailed the first two weeks in terms of exercise, and step count and water consumption!  Totally nailed it!  But my food was not exactly spot on. It wasn’t horrible, but not perfect.  Add into that my monthly cycle hit (first time in like 4-5 months)  and I  didn’t lose any weight.  And I got totally disgusted.  And at that point it all went to hell in a hand basket.  Exercise?  What’s that?   I didn’t stop totally, but it’s been a struggle to get 1-2 workouts a week.  Water?  I am getting about 32 ounces of water a day.  Not enough at all!   And food!  Well I it was a struggle and honestly, for the last week (I just checked, exactly a week) I haven’t tracked a single solitary thing I have eaten!)  I haven’t gone off the rails with my food,  it hasn’t been totally horrible.  I’m still trying to make wise decisions but I know it hasn’t been ‘good’.

I’m a fraud

Meanwhile, I have been struggling with feeling like a fraud.  I have been posting on here about weight loss for 18.5 YEARS.  Sure I have had some success.  But lately it’s just been failure.  I am the highest weight I have been since before I lost all the weight back in 2007/2008.  I feel horrible.  I ache.  I am miserable.  I am disgusted with myself.  And I continue to post on here and on my YouTube channel.  Sure I’m being honest and talking about my struggles…but I feel like a fraud.   I know, I’m not….I'm authentically honest, talking about my struggles with weight.  But still…..

Doctors Appointment

I had a follow up appointment with my gastroenterologist last week.  This was to get the results of the biopsies from my endoscopy and to also plan how to move forward with this acid reflux dealio that I have been working on since my visit to the ER almost a year ago.   The doctor told me that everything looked great with my endoscopy.  The biopsies were all normal.  The only thing they found was the hiatal hernia that he had mentioned the day of the endoscopy.    We talked about how the medication has not helped me. And he said, that the medicine would help reduce ACID, but the hiatal hernia would continue to cause a ‘back up’ into my esophagus.  It’s just a fact of life with a hiatal hernia.  So with his permission I am not taking any meds. He said the odds of damage is slim to none.  It also helps that my symptom is simply a cough or throat clear once or twice after I eat.  (I have no heartburn, stomach issues, acid taste in my mouth, etc). We agreed that for me an  endoscopy will be something that I have to do every few years, along with my colonoscopy.  Preventative, just to check for damage and take steps to stop damage from getting worse should there be any.  I’m good with that.  So moving forward the focus is on getting the weight off of my body.  In his words all the stomach fat is pressing and squeezing that hernia and compounding the issue.  He said that it is quite likely that my problems would disappear almost entirely should I lose weight.   So there you have it.  

Moving forward

So what is the plan moving forward.   I’m not exactly sure.  I’ve been disgusted enough that I’ve actually for the first time started to contemplate taking a medication. But am still somewhat  resistant to that.

 I know that I need to get myself back to tracking my food!  I also need to focus on getting in that exercise and drinking my water.   The big thing for me is that I know that I have an unhealthy relationship with food.  It’s very unhealthy.    But how does one create a healthy relationship ship?  That is the question of the hour I guess!  (Suggestions welcome!!)    

I have started to question my choices though.  Each time I eat I know what I WANT, but I am questioning myself,  ‘what would a person that doesn’t have an issue with food choose’.  And then I copy what I think a person with a healthy relationship would eat.   So for lunch today I did have a handful of potato chips.  Normally I would either ignore them because they are the devil (if I was feeling strong enough to resist) or I would eat potato chips with wild abandon. (For those days where I lose control!)  today I eat about 5 chips…that sounded ‘normal and healthy’ to me!   I also did that with some homemade bread.  I wanted to eat the rest of the loaf…but I asked myself, is that something a ‘non food addict’ person would do?  And so I didn’t eat the rest of it.  I just ate two slices.    Is this healthy? Maybe not but it is making me really think about my choices!

It’s a small thing, but that is where I am starting.  Hopefully it will help me retrain my mind to a mindset that is less addict fueled and more ‘normal’  (whatever normal really is)

So that is where I am at.   Crazy times.   July wasn’t what I had thought it was going to be…but I can end strong 

 

July!

 July started out with a bang!  And I don't mean fireworks!  I mean with my determination to be healthy!  Yes, I started the month with a spark of determination within me!

I set up my journal again this month much like I have the last few months, creating it by hand.  I have made adjustments each month to take away things that I didn't do and found unnecessary.  I added things that I realized I needed.  I adjusted and reworked things that I didn't like how they worked.  I am feeling really good with my journal!  I may start working on a version that I can print up so that I don't have to get out the good old ruler each month to create my own boxes, lines and gizmos!  I'm excited about possibly getting the perfect planner for me!   Seriously, I've been looking for YEARS for a planner that would have exactly what I needed it to have, or at least something close!  So I am excited to create my own. 

The month of July rolled around and I sat back and started to think about where I am.  And honestly, I wasn't happy with where I am in terms of my health.   So I decided that July was going to be my month to change my behaviors.  

What is changing?   Well nothing really.  But on the other hand, everything!   Last month in my journal I had 4 habits that I was to work on.   The four habits were very simple.  One, I had to keep my calories under 1500 for 6 days a week.   Second, I wanted to work on my water consumption.  I wanted to have 64 ounces of water bare minimum each day.    The third and the fourth kinda went hand in hand.  I wanted my step count to be over 5,000 steps per day and I wanted to exercise at least 3 times a week.   I quickly noticed that if I didn't exercise, the steps were much more difficult to get!     Simple and easy right?    I failed miserably!  Oh, not all of them.  My calories were spot on most days.  However, everything else was a colossal failure.  I exercised the first week or two and then didn't do it again!  Step count was next to nothing most days and my water.  Eii yii yii my water, lets just say it was a drought! So when I decided to get serious, I knew that those last three things would be on my habit page again.  I decided to not include the calories, that was pretty solid and darn near perfect.  I wanted to focus on things that I struggle with!  Easy peasy decision!   

So July first rolled around. And just like I expected, my calories are spot on and everything is going well.

 Exercise:  I didn't want to exercise when I woke up.  5 AM is not a friendly hour!  But I did it anyway!  I did it on July second also!    Now I am writing this on July third and I have to admit that I didn't exercise this morning.  I was thinking it was going to be a 'rest day'.  But after thinking about it throughout the day thus far, I have plans to knock out SOMETHING after work.  It's not so much that I don't want to skip a day of exercise, but rather I know that exercise will help me increase my step count so that I don't miss that goal today also! 

Steps:    I am happy to say that I got my steps in on both Monday and Tuesday, the first two days of the month.  The one day I was a little shy of my goal as the day was winding down. Nope, Not allowed, not happening!  So I  made sure that I moved and walked a bit more around the yard with the dog to make it to my 5K.   (and yes, I know that 5 K is a low goal....give me time and I will raise it gradually, but right now 5K is a stretch!).   And yes, that is why I KNOW that I need to do something after work.  I'm at 2k Steps right now, and I know getting 3 K will be hard.  Sure I'll be on my feet and making dinner and whatnot, but that doesn't garner a lot of steps!  I NEED STEPS!

Water: I didn't forget my water! On the first of July I actually not only got my 64 ounces, but I also got an extra 32 ounces on top of that!  Go me!   Tuesday was not as over the top, and I just made my 64 ounces.    No extra, but I am still proud of myself!    Today is about halfway over and I am more than halfway through my water for the day, so I'm feeling good about my success for the day.

So there you have it.  I am enacting the changes necessary to turn my health journey around.  Sadly, I am not seeing any change on the scales.  But I am ok with that.  First of all, it is only 3 days in.  I am also aware that my body is probably holding on to every ounce of water since it's finally getting what it needs and that within a few days I'll probably be running to the bathroom frequently as it regulates itself, which is when my weight will drop.   But you know what, if it doesn't;  I will still be ok because I know that the habits that I am working on will have a positive impact on my overall health!

Long Fasts and Why the are not Good for Me

 There are people out there that swear by the longer fasting windows.  I just read the book Fast like a Girl that encourages longer fasts for more fat burning and cell rejuvenating benefits! (link for book....it was a good one!)  I understand the concepts and benefits.   I even think I could do it easily if I set my mind to it.  However, I have learned recently that it's just not for me.

So a month or so ago, I decided to try a longer fast.   It was a bit of a failure in that I didn't make the pie in the sky goal of 36 hours of fasting.  However, it was a victory in that I did make it 24 hours without fasting.  I was super proud of myself for the 24 hours and was so excited to see what would happen on the scales.  You an imagine my surprise when I stepped on the scales and found that I had GAINED weight!  Yes, you read that right.  24 hours without food and I showed a gain.  (You can read about the experience here.)  I was disillusioned by the experience, but vowed to try again.

Again, happened the other week when I had my Endoscopy (which I wrote about in my last post here.)  I was not allowed to eat after midnight, so when I was finished eating dinner the night before my procedure I was done until after my procedure the next day.  By the time I got done with the procedure it was late afternoon.  I knew that unless I was utterly miserably hungry that I would just wait until dinner. And lets be honest, I knew that I would be fine.   Thirsty, now that was a different story!  But thirst is not part of this post, so back to fasting and food.   I knew that I would be fine to wait for dinner at the normal hour. I had a super healthy dinner planned for us and I had made a cake that morning to go with dinner (since it was a Friday and I splurge on Fridays.  Plans were made and it was going to go great.   Except I was so tired and lazy feeling and I was getting hungry.  I wanted pizza!  I wanted wings!  I wanted it all!    And that is what we did.  We ordered wings and pizza.   And yes, I ate a half of pizza and half the order of wings!    No holds barred!  I hadn't eaten in 24 hours, I deserved that food!  At least that is what my brain was saying.  My stomach was hungry and was egging the brains thoughts along.  It was a bad combination.

I didn't think much about this until just this week, almost two weeks after the endoscopy when I realized what had really happened.  I had allowed myself to get so hungry (I didn't have a whole lot of say in the matter, although I could have had a light snack when I left the doctors office.  my in-laws were ready and willing to take me someplace to grab a bite to eat.  Food quickly became this huge thing in my mind and nothing would satisfy until I gorged myself.

So, with that said, I love fasting and I do think there are benefits of longer fasts.  But for me, I will stick with the 16:8 fast.  It allows me to eliminate a meal.  It allows my body to reset a bit.   But it keeps me from getting ravenously hungry.  Or maybe I should say what my brain tells me is ravenously hungry   For me, as a food addict, long fasts are not a good thing because it sets that addiction into full play!

Lesson learned!

The endoscopy

Where is time going?   I swear time just seems to go faster and faster each year!!!  I have had plans to sit down and write about my experience with the endoscopy and time just slipped by!   But I’m here now, only two weeks later!  (It could have been worse!  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!!). 

So on June 14th I had my endoscopy!  As I spoke about in my previous post, by the time it was done I had fasted about 24 hours.  And I was hungry!   I made a a few discoveries during that forced fast, which I will delve into in a future post.  ((And I promise to write it SOON!). Anyway, back to the endoscopy!

My in-laws drove me up to my appointment, and my mother in law said she would go in when it was over to hear the report with me, since I would most likely be loopy from the anesthesia.   The fast and the drive were uneventful. The office is efficient and exactly at my appointed time they called me back.  Immediately they got me hooked up to all the machines and gizmos and placed the line for the IV.   The nurse struggled to get an IV.  Three sticks later and she hit gold, or rather she hit blood.  Luckily needles don’t bother me!   At that point, they also made me drink something.  They said it was to break down the gas bubbles in my digestive system.  Thank heavens it didn’t taste bad. Honestly, it was tasteless!   And then I waited for my turn in the procedure room.  The took in my neighbor on the other side of the curtain and the nurse told me ‘he is a colonoscopy and they typically take 20 minutes and then it will be your turn.’   

20 minutes passed, 40 minutes passed, 60 minutes .  I waited an hour and 15 minutes before they came to take me into a procedure room.  

During that time the gal that had come out of the procedure room laid in her bed moaning!  ‘Ouch ouch ouch ouch’. And then more  moans.  Followed by ‘not cool not cool not cool’ then more moans .   The nurses checked on her but never gave her the meds that I am sure she was angling for!  Hahahaha.   Too bad the curtain was pulled, I would have loved to see that drama!

Eventually they came for me.  They apologized and said that the guy in the room took a lot longer than expected.  I , of course said no problem and said ‘not a good sign when they take longer I imagine’.  The nurse grimaced and agreed.   Made me thankful all over again that my colonoscopy in January was quick and they found nothing!!

They finally took me into the room.  I looked at my watch when I went into the room and right before the doctor said hi.  They put this stopper thing in my mouth.   From what I saw it reminded me of a big pacifier that I had to bite down on.  I was focusing heavily because that kind of stuff makes me gag and it was freaking me out a bit in my mind.

The next thing I know I was wondering where the remote control was to turn off the tv!  Yup, the tv i was thinking about turning off, was actually the monitor that the doctor had used during my endoscopy.  My mind was wanting to turn off I guess.  Quickly I realized that I was still in the procedure room.  No worries, I didn’t wake up halfway through the procedure!  I was done!   I remember talking to the nurse but I can’t remember what I said.  I’m sure it was witty and totally coherent!  (Ha). I also looked at my watch and less than 10 minutes had passed. Whew, I hadn’t gone long!

Back in my little recovery/prep area they removed my IV and various monitors.  They alsogave me a drink of water.  (They gave me the smallest  glass of water  for someone that hasn’t had a drink in 8 hours…I was a thirsty girl!!). And I laid there for a few minutes.  The doctor stopped by and gave me the thumbs up.  While my mother in law was supposed to be there for the results, he gave them to me without her.   When the nurse was ‘discharging me’ she asked if I actually remembered what the doctor had said.  I was able to repeat it back to her verbatim.   

They took me and placed me in the care of my parent in-laws and I asked them to take me right away to get a drink!  That Diet Pepsi tasted so dang good!!!  The drive home was uneventful…just lots of chit chat.   

Rather anticlimactic of an experience.  Which is good.

So the results.  The doctor said everything looked good.  They did a biopsy (which I asked if that was normal and they said yes) which of course we will have to wait for the results. The only thing of note was that I have a hiatal hernia.  A very small one apparently. (2 cm). I asked the doctor what we do about that and he immediately answered, “Nothing.”  He went on to say that if it gets bigger and becomes an issue it’s surgery but otherwise nothing.  Ok then.

I see him again in a few weeks (middle of July) and I will get the biopsy results then.  I will talk to him more about the hiatal hernia too.

But you know me, I came home and checked out Doc Google!  Everything I found indicated exactly what he said…except for one thing that I stumbled upon.  That was a doctor of physical therapy.  She does videos (with her dog nearby..how cool) and she had one for hiatal hernia. She makes it sound like certain movements (basically lots of stretching of the torso) will help alleviate symptoms of a hiatal hernia and possibly repair it.  I need to go back and research that some more.  Looking at the comment on her videos people were saying ‘I started this and within weeks the symptoms of the hiatal hernia were gone, and that is after my doctor told me that the only thing to help would be surgery’.  So hmmmmmm.   Ohh and as a side note…hiatal hernia and acid reflux for what I read go hand in hand…more to talk to the doctor about!!!

So that is the scoop…more to come in a few weeks!!!

Shine

I am still doing my word of the week.  Yes, I am kinda shocked that I have maintained it for a half of year!   If you have been reading this long enough, you will notice that I try things but long term seem to ‘forget’ or fall away or move on to something else.  But the word of the week has been fairly consistent!   Sure, I have had weeks where I have maybe forgotten or just plopped a word in there just to have a word of the week.  But for the most part, I have been pretty good with my words of the week.   And even more interesting, I choose words at the beginning of the week and many times they turn into something that is meaningful or motivating for me.

My word of the week last week was Shine.  I was happy with that.  I was going to shine.  But then the whole scale fiasco happened.  (Read about that Here). I didn’t give up and maintained keeping my journal and every time I went to enter my information into my journal, I saw that word of the week.  Shine.  I even laughed a few times because I felt like anything BUT shine.  But the word reminded me daily that we sometimes have to shine even when it’s dark.  So I did it, shine I did.  Maybe it was a bit more like a dull luster, but I did it!

I stayed on course even though I was disappointed and frustrated.  I held myself together.  I I managed to lose 2.6 pounds!  So by holding onto whatever shine I could, I was able to lose 2.6 pounds!

So when this week rolled around, I decided to try the SHINE again.  I am proud of my full luster week!   Just in holding it together was a victory, the weight loss was just icing on the cake.  And if I only can generate a full luster again this week, that’s fine.  But I am aiming for a full sparkle shine!

This week I am continuing the 16:8 fast plan.  I will have a 24 hour fast in this week also.  Makes me nervous because  I did try a 24 hour fast a few weeks ago and failed.  You can read about it Here.) I had no problem reaching the 24 hours. But I gained a pound!    This fast is due to a medical procedure.   I am having an endoscopy on Friday.   No food after midnight…and by the time I get back from the procedure it will be 4ish…so it will be close to dinner…so I will just wait for dinner.    So kinda a forced fast.  I am working to keep my calories under 1500.  I need to get it a bit lower.  I know that 1200-1350 is my sweet spot and I have been hovering closer to the 1500!  But this is a work in progress!

Disappointment

The last week had been full of disappointment and frustration for me as I journey through this effort to lose weight. It’s been a one two punch for sure!

Late last  week I was out picking berries.  I had the dog with me.  She was hooked into a lead that I have set up down in that area of the yard.  All was going well.  I was paying attention to where she was and watching the location of the lead/long leash.  I have been clotheslined by her before.  It’s not fun!  (I had a bruise around my ankle and it looked like I had tried to strangle my ankle to death.)    So being mindful, when she moved in one direction, I hopped over the lead to avoid being caught.   I made it over, but the line got stuck in my sandal.  The dog wasn’t aware and kept going.  I remember my foot in the air being pulled as I tried to shake it off.   And then I went down.  Hard.  On my left side. It hurt and actually brought  tears of pain to my eyes. Fror  a few seconds, I thought that I was seriously hurt. But I was able to move everything and get to my feet.  The dog came rushing to my side. Awww how sweet, she wanted to help, right?  No, she sniffed at me once and then she decided to feast on the bowl of berries that I had dropped.  Because yes, she picks them up off the ground under the tree, but she PREFERS to eat them from my bowl or from my fingers!  Once on my feet, and with my berries once again protected from the dog, I actually was able to continue picking berries.  I figured I would be sore as all get out the next morning.

The pain the next morning wasn’t any worse.  It was just a dull ache when I used my arm.  As a few days passed,  I didn’t even notice it anymore.   That is until this morning.   I made a vow to exercise at least 3 times each week.   I only had one for this week, so I started a walking workout routine this morning (YouTube is great for workouts!)  this one apparently had me moving my arms a lot more than the first one for this week.  Half way through the workout I found myself clutching my shoulder/arm.  Not good.  I toned down the arms and got through my workout.  But now I am in pain just sitting here.   Seriously, this hurts worse than it did in the first day or two after I fell!   Frustrating!

And of course a picture of the berry snatcher.

Of course I remain frustrated at the fasting experiment that I did the other day where I fasted 24 hours and gained a pound! (You can read that Here !)   The pound did not come off.  In fact the scales went up again the next day!   Frustrating

Yes the scales went up the next day too.  By 11 pounds!   Yes, you read that right. 11 pounds!  At that point I was pretty sure that what I had been suspecting was right.  What had I been suspecting?  I had long suspected that my scales were going bad.  My weight was all over the place.  3 pounds up, three pounds down, 5 pounds up.  All within 2-3 days (or less).  That has never been the case for me. I have always been able to identify why my weight was up…or down…or whatever.  But I chalked it up to being in my 50’s.  Hormones you know.   Adding to that though, was the fact that I would step on the scales and the scales would bounce around for up to a minute before settling in its chosen weight.  Half the time I would have to try two or three times because it would give me an error message.  I thought I was just moving around, or the floor was not level.  Or something.  But with the gain of 12 pounds in  2 days, with a one day increase of 11 pounds. I knew that something was wrong!  I mean, one of those days I fasted and the next day I ate about 1400 calories. There was no way!  

So I went out and bought a new scale! I prepared myself.  The scales would probably weight me differently.  I decided to not worry about any gain I saw and just take the new number as a fresh start in June.  And let’s be honest, I was hoping for a loss with the new scales!    Considering that I started this whole post with the line that it has been a week of frustration in my weight loss journey, I’m sure you have already figured out that it wasn’t a loss!  No, it was a gain.   A big one!  So the amount of gain is depending on how you look at it.   If you don’t include the 12 pound gain from the old scales and go back to my pre fast weight, I gained 20 pounds!  (It was about 10 pounds up if you include that 12 pound gain that I experienced).

Demoralizing. Frustrating. Disheartening. Heart breaking. Disillusioned.  

Yes, all those words and more describe how I feel.   I was so happy because I was seeing my weight drop.  I was getting closer to my first goal.  (To be the same weight I was when I met Jason.)  I was killin’ it!  And then in one fell swoop I was 20 pounds heavier.  Instead of being 10 pounds away from that mini goal I was now  30 pounds away. It was enough to make me want to sit and sob.

I know, I know,  my weight the same as it was before the new scales and I didn’t really giant weight and it is just a number.  My losses from May are still effective.  And I know intrinsically that had I not lost 7 pounds in May that it would show me even higher on the new scales.  I KNOW that my efforts were not for naught.   But it sure does feel like it!

It’s been hard for me to wrap my head around an instantaneous weight gain of 20 pounds or shall I call it a recalibration.  Either way, it’s been hard for me to wrap my head around it!  I feel beat down.  I mean.  60 pounds to lose is bad enough…80 is just horrible!  

I haven’t given up. I’m still doing the 16:8 fast.  I’m still keeping my calories at 1400 or less.  I’m still trying to limit my carbs.  But admittedly, my heart hasn’t been in it this week.

A Failure

 My experiment in fasting was a failure the whole way around.  100% failure!

Ok, maybe not a total failure. But mostly a failure!

I have been doing intermittent fasting for the last few weeks and after reading the book Fast like a Girl, I decided that I wanted to do a longer fast!  I was gung ho and decided to aim for a 36 hour fast.   I gave myself an out if it was just too difficult.  I gave myself permission  to stop at 24 hours and make it an OMAD fast, which is one meal a day if I needed to. Maybe that was my first hint that failure would arrive on my doorstop!  

I made it through the day just fine.  I admit to thinking about food on occasion.  However, for the most part I didn't miss food at all.  After work I headed outside and picked mulberries and then I rushed back into the house so that I could start to process my bounty.  I ended up making 3 batches of jelly and 2 batches of syrup, about 30 jars canned in total.  All was good with my fast as I approached hour 24.

And then the unthinkable happened.   I was starting to clean up the kitchen and I picked up a pan that I had made jelly in.  Without thinking, I swiped my finger through a line of jelly and popped my finger into my mouth.  It tasted so good, but immediately I realized my mistake with my mindless taste.   I had messed up my fast with that simple taste of the sugary jelly goodness.  Furthermore, while I hadn't been really hungry or thinking about food, the taste spurred my tastebuds, body and mind (mostly the mind) to all of a sudden want food.  I NEEDED food, or so I thought.

Sooooo, I made myself a grilled cheese and ate some of the mashed potatoes that I made for Jason's dinner. I failed to reach the magic 36 hours.  Not a total failure though, because I did make it 24 hours.   I was disappointed with myself, but ok with what I did.

I couldn't wait to step on the scales.  It was going to be fabulous for sure!  Yeah.....about that......I gained a pound!    I kid you not!  I gained weight!   Isn't that a hoot!  (Not really, but I have to laugh!)

So I learned a few lessons about my longer attempt.

* Remove myself from food and I really don't miss it.

* A single taste will start the mental game telling me to eat.

* Cooking dinner for Jason and then expecting me to not eat is just not going to happen.

* Surprisingly, that grilled cheese and mashed potatoes filled me up completely and I actually even felt stuffed.

* I CAN make it a OMAD without too much difficulty.

 

Will I try it again?  The 36 hour fast?  That is debatable.  I like the concept of burning the fat.   But while someone else is in the house eating, well I'm just not sure it is for me.   The One Meal A Day?   Yes, I probably will.  I think doing the same 16:8 fast is not a long term plan.  Our bodies get used to the same things and I think that switching it up to have a no fast day and /or an OMAD day is good for the body. So I will probably do it again, even though I gained a pound.  Maybe that one pound gain was an anomaly.

 But hey, I have a medical test coming up in 2 weeks and I can't eat after midnight for the test that is at 12:45.   I'll be in the office until about 3 or so and then I have a 1 hour drive home.  So I won't even get home until 4 ish.   I will most likely just wait until dinner at that point so it will be a forced OMAD.   That will be the perfect chance to see if I end up gaining again!  :-)

 My thoughts came to me while I was fasting and going through this process.  And that is, is it even possible to get enough nutrients to function efficiently if one does an OMAD fast?

 Lots of food for thought there.   

 

Lets Try It

​A few weeks ago I started intermittent fasting. I have been doing the 16:8 method.  And surprisingly, it is working for me!   I have actually lost 7.6 pounds in the last few weeks!  I am tickled!

In the midst of me trying the intermittent fasting thing, I received notice that a book that I had on hold was available!  Hot diggity dog!   I had heard about this book months ago and had been waiting for it.  It was Fast like a Girl by Mindy Pelz.  It was all about fasting for women.  Basically learning to fast so that your fasts are in line with the different hormones that ebb and flow throughout the cycle.  There are a lot of good things in this book.  But the main thing that I am focused on right now is the benefits from a 36 hour fast.  36 hours seems to be the magic for fat burning!   

I have always been resistant to any fast longer than the 16:8.  But ive decided to try a longer fast.   I am not committing to a 36 hour.  I want to see how my body is doing.    This isn’t about torture.   So I am aiming for OMAD, which is one meal a day.   This, at the very minimum, my goal is to not eat today and instead eat at dinner while will be a day since my last meal.   If things are going well, I plan on extending it to an 36 hour fast by simply not eating dinner tonight and then breaking my fast tomorrow.   This is just for today.  I’ll go back to 16:8 after this experiment.   If it works, I will through some OMAD and 36 hours into my routine..once a week…once every two weeks.   Time will tell how often.  Right now I just have to see how I get through today!!!

Wish me luck!!!

So Many Calories Left

​I have been working to try to figure out this weight loss thing.  My weight is not budging.  It’s infuriating.  I’m not eating horrible,not perfectly, but not horrible!  I know I had to do something, make some change.  So I have adjusted once again.

So what is the big adjustment?  I’m going back to intermittent fasting.  I did it years back. It comes naturally to me as I am not a big fan of eating in the morning.  So I decided to do a fasting regime…again.  (You can read more about my prior thoughts here.)

I am once again doing the 16:8 method of fasting.  I will be fasting for 16 hours and eating within an 8 hour window.  In easier terms, I need to be done eating by 8 PM and I don’t start eating again until after 12pm the next day.  So basically dinner to lunch.  Skipping breakfast.  It will actually most likely be a bit longer most days.  For example tonight my dinner is over and done and it’s 7:13 so technically my fast has started.  I know that my lunch is  not scheduled until 12:15 tomorrow.  So if my lunch happens right on time, it will end up being a 27 hour fast.  But let’s be honest.  Some days my lunch gets pushed later.  Today it was at 12:30.  But one day last week it was at 1:45.  No worries though!

Im doing what is called a dirty fast.  My fast is not 100% clean.  I am still making my drink in the morning…which is water with a trace mineral vitamin and mineral pack in it.  The calories are so small it’s negligible but it does ruin my chances of a ‘clean’ fast.   For me it’s a trade off…water is important and I feel as if those vitamin and mineral packs are instrumental to my health also.   So a trade off!

The benefit of intermittent fasting?   I am not eating those calories for breakfast so I have them to eat later in the day!  It makes it so much easier to stay within my set calorie range!   Yay!!!!!

Just A Week

​There is so much going on in my head!   I have things swirling up there and want to share it all, but not sure if I have the words because I’m still trying to figure it out myself.  But hey, let’s try!

The word of the week for this week is another phrase.  In fact, it’s the same phrase as last week.   That phrase is ‘just a week’.    Last week I made the vow that I can keep my calories in check for ‘just one week’.   It’s only a week.  I wasn’t asking to never indulge again, I was just saying hold it together for just one week.   And my specific plan was to keep the calories at right around 1400 or lower.   I managed it.  But I didn’t  lose a pound!   By the end of the week I was so utterly weary and depressed.  Why am I even trying to do this when my weight isn’t dropping.  It feels as if it is all in vain!   A whole lot of blood sweat and tears for a whole lot of nothing.    

I will throw in the disclaimer that I KNOW that any healthy change I make will have a positive impact on my body and health….but dang-it, I want to lose weight too!

I was weary.  Weary of trying to find food to eat that would fit in my plan.  Weary of counting my food.  Weary of thinking about every bite.  Weary of it all.   I never contemplated quitting, but I was weary and didn’t know how to move forward amidst the weariness. 

On Saturday I woke up still not sure what my plan was going to be.  Luckily I came up with a plan, while in the shower.   I was taking a ‘vacation day’ from this healthy living thing.  I was going to eat  what I want and not worry about it.  Just for that day.   Some people would cal this a cheat day, but I don’t like the word cheat because it has such negative connotations.  So I’m using the word vacation day, in honor of my father who used to take vacation days from his medications.  Yes, every Friday my father didn’t take any pills.  He said it was his vacation day!   So I decided to be my father’s daughter and take a vacation day from healthy living.   I started the day with chocolate chip pancakes.   Two of them, and I promptly burned one!  So I ate one chocolate chip pancake (and I was surprisingly quite satisfied with only one!).  For lunch I grabbed a turkey wrap.  For dinner we had subs and chips.  And I had a chocolate chip cookie.  My calories were around 1800.  Not horrible!  I was right back at it  with healthier options on Sunday…the vacation day reset my feelings about this journey.   While I was thinking about this plan, I realized that I used to do this years back when I was losing the weight the first time!  So it worked then, hopefully it works now too!  So I will be having more vacation days!

So I did start this week strong!   I vowed to do ‘just one week’ again, but with a twist.   I’m still working to keep calories low, but I am also vowing to only eat complex carbs a for one meal!   Carbs in the form of bread, pasta, potatoes have historically been an issue for me and I have always seemed to lose better when I limit it to one a day.  So it’s just one week…let’s see what happens if I limit for one week!

So now for the things that are jumbled in my head.  First and foremost, I have been feeling a bit like my life is all weight loss.  Like my weight and my efforts to lose weight is what defines me.  I mean, I’ve been online posting about it for so long it’s embarrassing!  (Since 2006, you can read my first post here.)   I am more than weight loss though, yet I feel as if that is all I am.   Everything in my life and thoughts go back to that, and I am not sure I like it.  But how do I change that?

The other thing is that I would love to come up with a side hustle to add a bit of income to our lives.  But what.  Admittedly I have thrown out a few lines, but nothing has worked for me.   Is it me?  Do I just lack something?   Perseverance?   I obviously have perseverance with weight loss…I mean since 2006…but do I fail at other things because I give up when it gets hard?   Or do I just lack some intrinsic brain power to make things happen.   

I know that very often I will quickly will jump on a bandwagon and go full force ahead, and then stop dead at some point.  I stop because it gets hard? I hit a brick wall, I get bored.  Any number of reasons.  But I stop.  And this, I get no where!  

I feel just stuck in life. Happy in my marriage but miserable with my work life.  Looking for a way out…but whelp, the bills still need paid and the animals still need to eat!!