I couldn’t do it

​how many posts have I started with ‘another crazy week’?  I honestly think I need to go back and count!  It seems as if life is just nuts and doesn’t slow down!

I’ve been a bit stressed of late.  Zoe just turned 6 months old this mi th and she has decided to exert her stubborn will…..on me!    On no, she is an Angel (mostly) for Jason.  With me she is a little hellion!  I turn my back and she has her nose pressed against the bird cage.  I look the other way and she is digging into the recycle bin and shredding cardboard.  Running like a fool on the leash. It’s like every which way it’s something.  Worst of all is our forays outside.  She goes out happily enough.   But when it’s time to come in.  No dice!

So let me explain.  I have her all day …I take her out for her first potty at 5am while Jason is in the shower.  I have no issues with her coming in because she wants her breakfast.   Jaosn leaves at 6:3 and we are fine.  I take her out at about 7:30 and we roll around in the yard for about thirty minutes before I start work.   Once work starts I have very limited time that I can be away from my desk (yes it is monitored).  I get two 15 minute breaks and a 30 minute lunch.  I set an alarm for 13 minutes so I know that my time is about up and to get back to my desk (it was 14 but with Zoe I changed it to 13 in case I am outside).  Zoe was doing fantastic.   She would hear the alarm and immediately turn and walk toward the back door zzz. All was going smashingly well.  Until it didnt.   At the end of last week Zoe decided to start ignoring the alarm and ignoring me.   That alone is bad.  But she also would lay down in the yard and refuse to move.  70 pounds of dead weight!  I was back late from every break and lunch for 4 days.  I was so stressed!   I tried everything and ended up dragging her or carrying her.  On Monday I was dragging her into the house and she slipped her collar.  Luckily she was being stubborn and just laid there and didn’t realize she was free!   I started putting the harness on her every time we went out.   That worked a bit better because the harness has a handle and I literally pick her up and walk dragging her.  She usually starts reluctantly walking when she is in the walking position.  Silly dog…but the being late stresses me out big time!

I’ve also been stressed out over this project 50 thing that I started on March 1.   In particular the stress comes from the learning a new skill.  I chose to learn to knit.   I hate it!  It’s been a chore each and every time I go to pick up the knitting needles!   I dread it.  The time goes so incredibly slow.  I find no enjoyment from it!  I have been pushing through…because maybe I don’t like it because I’m not good at it!   Maybe I just need to knit enough to get me over that barrier and then I will love it! So I have continued on.   This week I came to the conclusion that putting myself through misery is NOT worth it.  Would I have ever learned to live kitting.  Maybe.  But probably not because I abhorred every minute of it!  I instead pulled out my long neglected quilt and started to work on it and loved it!  I had the time of my life.  The time flew!  

Is it a failure? Maybe.  But I’m looking at it as a victory.  I am listening to my mind and my body and doing something to make me happy!

Struggling

 I am totally struggling! I had a fantastic time last week in regards to my weight loss journey and now it seems to have totally slipped away into this big messy pile!

It started on Saturday morning.  I woke up and I just felt the heavy weight on me.  I was going to visit my mom.  I was expecting the visit to be a really rough one based on how she was on Friday night when I had talked to her and when my brother had talked to her.  I was not looking forward to going.  I got myself ready and headed out the door early. Sitting and worrying about what the visit may hold was not going to do me any good.  I didn't eat anything before I left...of course not; I am doing the 16:8 intermittent fasting plan.  So I wouldn't be due to break my fast until lunch time.   I was driving down the road and trying to psych myself up for the visit and all I could think about was food.   Food has always been my comfort and I wanted some that morning.  I got off the interstate halfway there and picked up a fast-food breakfast.  Not Healthy.  Not in keeping with my Intermittent Fasting plan.  NOT something I even needed.  That was purely me giving in to my food addiction.

It didn't end there.  I got home and I ate lunch.  And when Jason mentioned Cheeseburgers I was like "lets go to Five Guys".  I didn't get the mini cheeseburger.  I got the double patty one.  I also didn't forego the french fries.  No siree.  I ate French fries also.  My ww points were like 77 for the day ....calories were about 2200.  CRAZY

Sunday I did a bit better.  I didn't break my fast until the proper time.  I didn't cave and eat fast food.  I did indulge a bit too much.  But in the grand scheme I did better!

Monday I fell apart in other ways.  First of all, my glasses fell apart!  I have NEVER broken a pair of glasses.  I literally picked them up and the arm fell off.  Looking at the, not sure that they can be fixed...although I will try!  I didn't get any reading in...and I didn't get any knitting done.  So I totally messed up my Project 50 for the day.     I will say that reading is difficult with an old pair of glasses that are only for nearsighted and do not have the progressive lenses.  I have had a low grade headache since wearing the old glasses.    BUT, that really is just an excuse.  So I will be reading today no matter wht happens with my old glasses.  THe knitting....I have 40 minutes of kitting completed for the week.  I need 2 hours.  So i have 1 hour and 20 minutes left to finish ....by midnight tonight!   I'm gonna try!

I'm not out for the count.  But I've really struggled these last few days!   

And just because...here is a picture of Zoe!

A Change and a Weigh in

 I was thinking this week about some stuff and decided that I had to change a little bit of my plan to lose weight.  I'm not surprised though.  I mean, I have tweaked and changed my direction more times than I can count!  But change I did!  The question is if the change affected  the numbers on the scales!  

Intermittent Fasting

I have dabbled with intermittent fasting for quite some time.  It was a natural thing that happened for me before  even know what intermittent fasting really was.  I guess you can say that I was cool before the cool kids!   I have never been a big fan of breakfast so it just happened naturally.  I was all happy with my intermittent fasting.  I wrote about it plenty of times too! (as evidenced here)  All was going well!  But I never had the fabulous results that other people talk about when they do intermittent fasting.  

This week I was reading blogs and watching youtube videos and the intermittent. fasting concept came up a few different times.  Each time it was mentioned in conjunction with insulin levels.  A while back I had read a book that really resonated with me.  It was The Obesity Code by Jason Fung.  Everything in his book made so much sense to me!  It wasn't until this week that I realized (yeah, slow learner) or maybe was willing to accept that my intermittent fasting was not true fasting because of one little thing.  Sure, I wasn't eating in my fasting window.  HOWEVER, I had not given up my vitamin drink in the morning.  It is the trace minerals drink pack.  It's next to nothing!  I am a huge fan of these vitamin packs! BUt they are causing me to unwittingly break my fast way too early!

So this week I decided to try another intermittent fast.  This time I would be doing a clean fast!  No vitamin pack to break my fast!   Instead, I have swapped out my morning water with straight water with a fresh lemon squeezed into it!  Refreshing and NOT breaking my fast!    I am still doing the vitamin pack, but it is being drank after my fasting window is closed!

Project 50

On March 1 I started my Project 50 and I am doing great.  I am on track and completing every item!    I feel productive and accomplished!   I love the act of marking my tracker with my successes!!!  I know, I'm only a few days into this challenge.  But right now, I am totally determined to see it through to the end and see where it takes me!  

Weigh In

Today was my official weigh in and I was nervous.  Last weekend I indulged, and my weight actually went up!  SO, I spent my week trying to recoup from that gain!  BUT, when I stepped on the scale it showed me at a 2.6 pound loss!  Hip Hip Hurray!!!!  I am utterly tickled!  

I won't lie.  I do have to wonder what it would have been without my indulgent weekend!  It would have been spectacular I bet!  But I am not going to dwell.  I know that those indulgences are what will make this sustainable for a lifetime.  Utter restriction will NOT work long term for me!  That has already been proven! :-)

Weekend Ready

Jason has survived his first full week back at work (well, he has to make it through today but I'm fairly certain he's got it under control)!     I have survived my first week of taking care of our menagerie of animals which includes a puppy!  I feel as if I am on the go constantly.  I get my break from work and boom, it's time to take the dog out!  I rush in and see I have 2 minutes before having to be back at my desk, so I rush to flip a load of laundry or sweep the floor.  It's all go go go!  But I have also been surviving this first week!    That said....bring on the weekend!!!!

75 Hard or Project 50?

I have been seriously toying with challenging myself.  Seriously challenging myself with something like the 75 Hard or the Project 50.  

  It has been quite some time since I first heard about the 75 hard.  I read about it on a blog that I have followed for years.  I remember reading about it and thinking, "What an amazing Challenge, I should do it".  But then reality sets in and I look at the 'rules' and realize that doing the 75 hard would be HARD.  I am somewhat ok with most of the items but the two blocks of exercise one required to be outside has honestly been the deal breaker in the past.  I could probably have been on board without that one rule.  Let me share the rules of the 75 Hard.  You must do the following 5 things for 75 days straight. If you fail, you have to start over at day one.

    1.  Follow a diet plan

    2. Exercise 2 times a day for 45 minutes each time.  One of those times MUST be outside.

    3.  Drink 4 liters of water

    4.  Read 10 pages of a book daily.

    5.  Take a Progress pictures each day

 I see some merit to the 75 Hard.  It would be hard.  For me the hardest part would be the two blocks of 45 minutes of exercise with one being outside.  It would be difficult.  Quite difficult.  Which of course is part of the name.  But that said, I want a challenge, but I don't want something that I will fail at within the first week.   I seriously struggle with getting in my 45 -60 minutes of exercise already due to time constraints!  For that reason alone, I have always passed on the 75 hard.  It came back under my radar again a few days back and I gave it another look as once again I was tempted.   I have decided once again to not attempt the 75 hard.   My reasons this time are once again centered around the exercise.  Yes, it would be difficult and part of me thinks it would be too difficult for me at this point in my life...but it would be hard and would be amazing to complete.  HOWEVER, my reason for NOT doing it is something different this time.   My reason is that I am not sure that 75 days straight of 1.5 hours of exercise would be wise for my body in its current state.  My body is sore.  My body is aching.  My rest days are a breath of fresh air and give my aching knees and joints the rest that I need so that I can hit it hard when the rest day is over.  For this reason the 75 Hard will still be an elusive thought for me.  Maybe someday!

In the last year I have been hearing a lot about people that are doing the Project 50.   This is something akin to the 75 hard.  But not quite as hard!    Let me share the rules of the Project 50.  These rules are followed for 50 days. 

    1.  Wake up by 8AM every day

    2.  Complete a 1 hour routine each morning with no distractions

    3.  Exercise 1 hour each day

    4.  Read 10 pages daily

    5.  Spent 1 hour each day to learn a new skill

    6.  Follow a Healthy Diet plan

    7.  Track your progress Daily in a journal

Ok, this is a bit more doable!   But I have still had misgivings.  Once again, the EVERY day exercise gives me a wee little pause.  But secondly, it's the hour each day to learn that new skill.  I think the new skill is important!  In fact I am teaching myself to knit! (Hopefully within a year or so I'll be teaching myself to Spin wool.....dog fur chiengora to be exact!).   But I have so many other things.  I wrote recently about my dreams and thoughts and my desire to finish some of these books that I have half finished.  That takes time.  If I devote 7 hours to knitting, when will I work on those books.  It was a quandary for sure!

So.  I am going to do my own version of the Project 50.

   1.  Wake up by 8AM every morning. I'm just leaving this there because why not.  But I am usually up by 5AM and consider myself LUCKY if I make it to 6AM.  

   2.  Complete the morning routine with no distractions.  Jason and I are creatures of habit.  Our morning routine is pretty set in stone and pretty unshakable!  So this one will be no issue and I am just leaving it there so that I kinda resemble the original Project 50!

  3.  Exercise total of 1 hour 5 days a week.   This is a modification.  The original Project 50 is for 1 hour every day.     In my modification, I am pushing for 1 hour TOTAL of exercise on 5 days.  If I do a 45-minute exercise video in the morning, well then, I better get my butt moving for another 15 minutes during the day.  That alone will be a challenge.  Some days that 45 minutes alone is difficult.  So, stretching that to an hour will be a challenge!  

  4.  Read 10 pages daily.   This one also poses no problems with me as I almost always have a book in progress and it is actually a rare day that I do NOT read.  

5.  Follow a Healthy Diet.  This one should be easy.   I already follow a decently healthy diet so this is continuation of that AND encouragement to stay the course and not slip up!

6.  Track my progress daily.   I track some of this stuff already, so it should be no stretch to track all of this.

7.  A New skill.   The original plan was to work on a new skill for 1 hour each day.   And as I said earlier, this is the one that has held me back from attempting the Project 50.   7 hours is a long time.  I havve no problem with learning a new skill and spending time, but I know me and I know that dedicating an hour a day would result in failure.   So I am adjusting this a bit.   I am aiming for 2 hours a week to dedicate to this new skill of knitting.  That is a much more doable number.  

Bonus activities that I have added for myself. 

1.  20 minutes of activity on my off days from exercise.  That could be a walk or hike.  It could be a long romp in the yard with the dog.  Or a spin on the exercise bike.  Something active!

2.  Since I have cut down the hours to work on the new skill, I am adding in a word count for writing. My goal for myself is 5000 words a week.  

3.  No days less than 5000 steps.  I struggle some days to get my steps in!   So this will be a challenge on some days!  (those lazy weekend days!!!!)

So there you have it.  My own personal revamped project 50!   I think it will be a stretch!    Some days and weeks  are going to be hard!   But I didn't want to coast through because then it wouldn't be a challenge!!!!

I plan to start this on March 1!   This will run through to April 19th!    At that time, maybe I will reevaluate the 75 hard!  (maybe I'll make it my own personal 75 hard   or rather 75 hard-ish!) 

Feel free to join me on this project!