Yes, old habits die hard. I'm still under some stress. Uhh yeah, my newly fixed car is once again damaged (it was sideswipped while safely parked...I wasn't even in it at the time). So what did I do...I went to the kitchen and made a fudge filled chocolate cake...and proceeded to eat half of it (over the next 24-36 hours). NOT cool! That is NOT the way to deal with stress, worry and upset. What made me do it? I'm not sure.....other than old habits. That's how I used to deal with stuff.
I haven't weighed myself the last few days. The ick arrived last Saturday (the eighth) and I know how that can skew my weight. SO I just ignored the scales. I'm proud to say though that I've managed to at least journal my food intake. SO at least I made a positive step in the right direction. I just need to make a BIGGER step!
Monday, March 10, 2008
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Warm weather
I'm still on the edge of eating healthy. Not eating exactly as healthy as I could be...but not totally throwing healthy eating over the edge. OH well.
Today the weather was fabulous. I so wanted to get out and go for a jog. However, life is just to busy now. I brought a load of stuff from my corner cupboard over from the other place...and then I had to put that away. I worked outside a bit.....I made Todd and I lunch and I fixed the shepherds pie for dinner...it's in the frig all ready for to be baked. That makes it easier when i work until 6PM.
We are getting all settled into the new place. It feels like home....I will be so happy when everything is totally moved over...and what isn't being moved is organized and boxed for storage! What a relief that will be!!!!
Today the weather was fabulous. I so wanted to get out and go for a jog. However, life is just to busy now. I brought a load of stuff from my corner cupboard over from the other place...and then I had to put that away. I worked outside a bit.....I made Todd and I lunch and I fixed the shepherds pie for dinner...it's in the frig all ready for to be baked. That makes it easier when i work until 6PM.
We are getting all settled into the new place. It feels like home....I will be so happy when everything is totally moved over...and what isn't being moved is organized and boxed for storage! What a relief that will be!!!!
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
AHHH shucks!
Well, what a week! I didn't have a car for a week and a half as mine was at the autobody shop getting repaired after it's run in with a deer. We moved. Issues with my home scales, I worked. Life has just been busy!
The car. They did a superb job on the car. Unfortunately, they were a full week over the 'promised' date! I was chomping at the bit to get my car back. Normally it wouldn't have been that bad...BUT with us moving, Todd now has to drive to work. When we lived above the business it was nice when we only had one car because he didn't need a car every day. NOW, we both need cars to get to work. Well, we could ride our bikes...but it was dang cold...and dark when we get off work! So it was a pain in the buttocks. I bummed rides for a week and a half! But, I got it back yesterday evening!!!! I was so tickled!
Moving. Wow. The new place looks nice. Very homey and comfortable! I'd wager a guess to say that we have moved 95% of our belongings. I still have my washer and dryer to move, my corner cupboard, freezers, and exercise bike. I do have a few small things left also that need to be moved. But we are in...and quite livable. The problem. Well, we ate 'fast' foods or we ate out a good deal this week! That is rough on a diet! VERY rough! I was down to 179.8. Well...I'm back up to 182.4 according to my home scales today. I'll know the exact damage tonight at my meeting.
My scales. Well, I moved them and I went to weigh myself and they didn't work. The battery had gone dead...AGAIN! Didn't I just replace that sucker? Well, I bought a new battery and was able to check my weight this morning. I honestly do believe that if I had been checking my weight daily, I would not have allowed my weight to jump back up three pounds.
Well.......I did jump that three pounds and while I may have been more cognizant and not allowed it to happen, I do have to be honest. The ick should be arriving in my life soon. I say should be because I didn't mark it down last month....wasn't that smart of me???? So that may be causing me to retain water. PLUS, I'll be totally honest and admit that I've been drinking....well, zilch amounts of water! I've been drinking diet soda. And while that isn't the worst thing and didn't add calories and such to my life...it still wasn't what i NEEDED to be drinking! I do really honestly feel that water is an integral part of my weight loss. SOOOO I'm knocking back the 'sippy cup' of water today!
Last week at my weight watchers meeting I finally set and locked myself in to a goal weight. My weight watchers goal is officially set at 164. That is the highest weight watchers approved weight for my height range. At my meeting last week, that put me 15 pounds away from that goal. I guess tonight I'll be 18 or 19 pounds away....shucks! Oh well...that's still a heck of a lot closer than 100 pounds... or 125 pounds...or even 150 pounds. :-)
I'm refocusing myself on weight loss here. I can't let this get me. I've got to continue on and lose the rest of this weight. I've come to far to give up or fail now! Plus, I want new clothes! :-)
The car. They did a superb job on the car. Unfortunately, they were a full week over the 'promised' date! I was chomping at the bit to get my car back. Normally it wouldn't have been that bad...BUT with us moving, Todd now has to drive to work. When we lived above the business it was nice when we only had one car because he didn't need a car every day. NOW, we both need cars to get to work. Well, we could ride our bikes...but it was dang cold...and dark when we get off work! So it was a pain in the buttocks. I bummed rides for a week and a half! But, I got it back yesterday evening!!!! I was so tickled!
Moving. Wow. The new place looks nice. Very homey and comfortable! I'd wager a guess to say that we have moved 95% of our belongings. I still have my washer and dryer to move, my corner cupboard, freezers, and exercise bike. I do have a few small things left also that need to be moved. But we are in...and quite livable. The problem. Well, we ate 'fast' foods or we ate out a good deal this week! That is rough on a diet! VERY rough! I was down to 179.8. Well...I'm back up to 182.4 according to my home scales today. I'll know the exact damage tonight at my meeting.
My scales. Well, I moved them and I went to weigh myself and they didn't work. The battery had gone dead...AGAIN! Didn't I just replace that sucker? Well, I bought a new battery and was able to check my weight this morning. I honestly do believe that if I had been checking my weight daily, I would not have allowed my weight to jump back up three pounds.
Well.......I did jump that three pounds and while I may have been more cognizant and not allowed it to happen, I do have to be honest. The ick should be arriving in my life soon. I say should be because I didn't mark it down last month....wasn't that smart of me???? So that may be causing me to retain water. PLUS, I'll be totally honest and admit that I've been drinking....well, zilch amounts of water! I've been drinking diet soda. And while that isn't the worst thing and didn't add calories and such to my life...it still wasn't what i NEEDED to be drinking! I do really honestly feel that water is an integral part of my weight loss. SOOOO I'm knocking back the 'sippy cup' of water today!
Last week at my weight watchers meeting I finally set and locked myself in to a goal weight. My weight watchers goal is officially set at 164. That is the highest weight watchers approved weight for my height range. At my meeting last week, that put me 15 pounds away from that goal. I guess tonight I'll be 18 or 19 pounds away....shucks! Oh well...that's still a heck of a lot closer than 100 pounds... or 125 pounds...or even 150 pounds. :-)
I'm refocusing myself on weight loss here. I can't let this get me. I've got to continue on and lose the rest of this weight. I've come to far to give up or fail now! Plus, I want new clothes! :-)
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Great weight!
I showed a loss of 3.2 pounds at my meeting. I weighted in at 179.6. I was tickled. That puts me at almost exactly 15 pounds from my 'weight watcher' goal of 164! Woooo hooo!
Well...moving day was yesterday. I'm so darn sore! We had gotten to the point that we had to make the leap and just do it. So we did. I started working at 6 or 7AM and we carried in the last load last night at about 7PM. Granted we did stop for breakfast and lunch during that time..breakfast at the Red Byrd in Keedysville and lunch at Mr. D's in hagerstown (....VERY good food!) The cats were brought in at about 8PM. I then worked to get everything put away and settled....finishing up around 11PM. I showered and fell into bed. Uhhh yeah, I heard every creak and groan in the new place....and the cats.....more on that later. At 3AM I turned on the light...hoping that I could 'read myself' back to sleep....I did sleep fitfully from 11PM until about 3AM. However, at 3 i was wide awake. I finished my book. I turned off the light. Finally at 5AM I gave up and got out of bed and ate my cereal. I was thinking of heading to the grocery store at that point...but wanted to wait until at least 6AM. I laid down on the couch.....yes my new comfy couch...and slept for about 20 minutes. I ended up at the grocery store at 7AM.....spent a TON. I haven't gotten groceries for ages.....nothing serious at least...just pick up this or that here and there....I didn't want to 'stock up' just to have to move it all! I came home and we did two small loads of stuff. I helped Todd run the internet cables and the cables for the sattelite tv for the bedroom. I put some stuff away....made Todd a cheesecake and now here I am at work.....exhausted!
CATS! Lucy and Ethel were in the first batch of cats to come over to the new place. Todd said that they cried the whole trip (all of what...5 minutes tops). We took them out of the cages and we set Lucy in the cat liter first. She took to the new house like a fish in water. Yeah, she was a bit slinky and cautious...but she did VERY well. (We thought that she would be a wreck). I held Ethel while Lucy was being introduced to the cat bathroom. I then sat Ethel in the cat liter (after Lucy vacated obviously). Ethel jumped out and proceeded to follow me like white on rice. Everywhere I went, she followed. Oh yes...she cried and meowed copioiusly the whole time. I was working in the bedroom for the most part and I got both of the gals settled down......as long as I was within sight of them. (Isn't this just a pitiful story!) Well, Todd came back about a half hour later with the other two cats (he had to make a stop to drop off a cd to ...well, actually one of our 'new' neighbors). Desi was the first one to be set down in the cat liter box. My heart just broke. He hunkered down and let out this cry of pure pain! It was heart wrenching. Well.....it was so heart wrenching that Ethel...who was a bit upset before hand took off and ran and hid! Deebs was frozen in fear. Todd had to pick him out of the liter so taht I could introduce Jodi-fred to the new potty. She did really well. She, as Lucy was, was very skitish but was up and around and did verywell. She liked to be with...but she did excellent! Meanwhile, Todd was trying to soothe Deebs.......he did the cat liter again...and this time deebs got out on his own and slunk out of the laundry room and around the corner........into our bedroom. HE must have felt safe....under the bed. We let Ethel and Desi sulk for a bit in their hiding places for a bit before we pulled them out and loved them. Ethel stayed out...but Desi would only run back to his hiding place. Fast foward to nighttime. Why I didn't sleep much....a parade of cats. Literally, one would jump up....bat at my face to get my attention. I would pat it's head and then it would leave. Before I coudl settle down to sleep...the next one would come up....get my attention (by cat means), demand the pat/scratch and then they would leave. This happened with all four cats.....over and over and over again. And no....I didn't have the heart to kick them out of the bedroom! As I said earlier, I finally did get a little sleep on the sofa this morning. You may be asking why I didn't sleep longer? Well.....my computer desk sits out from the wall on the one side by about 8-12 inches......there is a bookshelf that buts up on that space...leaving a gap of dead space...surrounded by the end of the bookshelf, the end of the desk and the two sides of wall/in the corner. Well.....I heard this scratching noise. YES, my sweet thing Ethel got herself down in that pit and it's so small she didn't have enough room to jump to get herself out! Sad sad sad. The cats are still in a bit of an uproar.....Desi is the worst, Ethel is only slightly better. Lucy and Jodi are still easily spooked but otherwise ok.
Well...moving day was yesterday. I'm so darn sore! We had gotten to the point that we had to make the leap and just do it. So we did. I started working at 6 or 7AM and we carried in the last load last night at about 7PM. Granted we did stop for breakfast and lunch during that time..breakfast at the Red Byrd in Keedysville and lunch at Mr. D's in hagerstown (....VERY good food!) The cats were brought in at about 8PM. I then worked to get everything put away and settled....finishing up around 11PM. I showered and fell into bed. Uhhh yeah, I heard every creak and groan in the new place....and the cats.....more on that later. At 3AM I turned on the light...hoping that I could 'read myself' back to sleep....I did sleep fitfully from 11PM until about 3AM. However, at 3 i was wide awake. I finished my book. I turned off the light. Finally at 5AM I gave up and got out of bed and ate my cereal. I was thinking of heading to the grocery store at that point...but wanted to wait until at least 6AM. I laid down on the couch.....yes my new comfy couch...and slept for about 20 minutes. I ended up at the grocery store at 7AM.....spent a TON. I haven't gotten groceries for ages.....nothing serious at least...just pick up this or that here and there....I didn't want to 'stock up' just to have to move it all! I came home and we did two small loads of stuff. I helped Todd run the internet cables and the cables for the sattelite tv for the bedroom. I put some stuff away....made Todd a cheesecake and now here I am at work.....exhausted!
CATS! Lucy and Ethel were in the first batch of cats to come over to the new place. Todd said that they cried the whole trip (all of what...5 minutes tops). We took them out of the cages and we set Lucy in the cat liter first. She took to the new house like a fish in water. Yeah, she was a bit slinky and cautious...but she did VERY well. (We thought that she would be a wreck). I held Ethel while Lucy was being introduced to the cat bathroom. I then sat Ethel in the cat liter (after Lucy vacated obviously). Ethel jumped out and proceeded to follow me like white on rice. Everywhere I went, she followed. Oh yes...she cried and meowed copioiusly the whole time. I was working in the bedroom for the most part and I got both of the gals settled down......as long as I was within sight of them. (Isn't this just a pitiful story!) Well, Todd came back about a half hour later with the other two cats (he had to make a stop to drop off a cd to ...well, actually one of our 'new' neighbors). Desi was the first one to be set down in the cat liter box. My heart just broke. He hunkered down and let out this cry of pure pain! It was heart wrenching. Well.....it was so heart wrenching that Ethel...who was a bit upset before hand took off and ran and hid! Deebs was frozen in fear. Todd had to pick him out of the liter so taht I could introduce Jodi-fred to the new potty. She did really well. She, as Lucy was, was very skitish but was up and around and did verywell. She liked to be with...but she did excellent! Meanwhile, Todd was trying to soothe Deebs.......he did the cat liter again...and this time deebs got out on his own and slunk out of the laundry room and around the corner........into our bedroom. HE must have felt safe....under the bed. We let Ethel and Desi sulk for a bit in their hiding places for a bit before we pulled them out and loved them. Ethel stayed out...but Desi would only run back to his hiding place. Fast foward to nighttime. Why I didn't sleep much....a parade of cats. Literally, one would jump up....bat at my face to get my attention. I would pat it's head and then it would leave. Before I coudl settle down to sleep...the next one would come up....get my attention (by cat means), demand the pat/scratch and then they would leave. This happened with all four cats.....over and over and over again. And no....I didn't have the heart to kick them out of the bedroom! As I said earlier, I finally did get a little sleep on the sofa this morning. You may be asking why I didn't sleep longer? Well.....my computer desk sits out from the wall on the one side by about 8-12 inches......there is a bookshelf that buts up on that space...leaving a gap of dead space...surrounded by the end of the bookshelf, the end of the desk and the two sides of wall/in the corner. Well.....I heard this scratching noise. YES, my sweet thing Ethel got herself down in that pit and it's so small she didn't have enough room to jump to get herself out! Sad sad sad. The cats are still in a bit of an uproar.....Desi is the worst, Ethel is only slightly better. Lucy and Jodi are still easily spooked but otherwise ok.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
I'm still here!
I'm still around. I haven't given up. I haven't fallen off the bandwagon. I haven't done any of that. I just realized that something had to loosen up in my life before I went irrevocably insane! So the weight watchers kinda got pushed to the back burner for a while. I still figure in my head how many points I'm eating and all that. However, I don't track or anything. Other than the first week when things went catawompus, I have managed to maintain my weight (actually a bit of a loss...BUT that can be attributed to the flu). I know that I'll probably be eating a bit 'worse for the wear' for the next day or so. We'll be moving. We'll probably go to breakfast tomorrow morning...and most likely lunch also. On the flip side....I'll be moving and such. Oh well...it will all work out.
I'm actually looking foward to getting back to a 'normal' life routine and getting this weight gone for good! This morning I weighed in at 178....that is 14 pounds from the high end of my weight range. I need to talk to the leader tonight to double check! Woo hooo! :-) FOURTEEN POUNDS!!!!!!! That seems so close!
I'm actually looking foward to getting back to a 'normal' life routine and getting this weight gone for good! This morning I weighed in at 178....that is 14 pounds from the high end of my weight range. I need to talk to the leader tonight to double check! Woo hooo! :-) FOURTEEN POUNDS!!!!!!! That seems so close!
Saturday, February 23, 2008
What a week!
I'm down on the scales and I'm very tickled with that. However, I'd gladly take back this past week and not have lost anything. I've ended up sick with the flu. MISERABLE! And it sucks that it's right when I'm focused on trying to get us moved! ARRGGHH I was originally hoping to move today, but with me being sick for a few, I'm now thinking that next wednesday is going to be the day! Hopefully then things will settle down and I'll be able to refocus my energy on losing weight!
Friday, February 15, 2008
Proud of myself
I've been struggling of late with my eating as this blog easily shows. Well, I've been trying to pull myself together and get back to eating healthy portions and options. Well, yesterday I was bound and determined to do it. Todd and I decided to treat ourselves to a meal out for Valentines day. Well...on the way up to town, we had a bit of an accident. We hit a deer. Errr...well, the deer actually kinda hit us. I slowed and managed to avoid the first deer we saw....but the second one ran up and just literally ran right smack dab into the side of my car! (The deer was ok!). That deer just plain and simple sheered off my side view mirror and gave my car a few dents and bumps. I freaked out because I saw it coming and sat for those few seconds staring in horror as this deer came barrelling toward me (couldn't speed up because of the deer in front of me...couldn't swerve because of the car in the oncoming lane). The poor deers head just literally was smashed up against the drivers side window...just inches from my face. I saw the fear in that poor deers eyes! (mirrored in my own of course!). BUT, to make s long story short. We eventually did make it up to town and to dinner. We ended up going to Bob Evans.....everything else was just super busy and by the time we got there it was getting late and we didn't want to wait! I got a chicken breast, steamed broccoli and applesauce. AND, I'm proud to say that I stayed within my points yesterday! That is absolutely amazing. IT's the first time in ages! (ok, in weeks!) Driving up to town after the 'incident' I wanted Pizza and comfort foods. I refrained though!
Ohh...yeah, the sickest part.....I have deer fur/hair stuck in all sorts of places and crevices that are on the side of my car (door handles and such!) ewwwwwww!
So far so good today. I am going to have a little snack pack of food. (the chocolate cake 100 cal things from I think it's hostess) I should probably chose a healthier snack...but at this point if I'm within my points I'm considering it a victory!
Meanwhile, Todd and I are hoping to be somewhat moved and living over at the other place within the next 2 weeks (a week and a half to be exact).
Ohh...yeah, the sickest part.....I have deer fur/hair stuck in all sorts of places and crevices that are on the side of my car (door handles and such!) ewwwwwww!
So far so good today. I am going to have a little snack pack of food. (the chocolate cake 100 cal things from I think it's hostess) I should probably chose a healthier snack...but at this point if I'm within my points I'm considering it a victory!
Meanwhile, Todd and I are hoping to be somewhat moved and living over at the other place within the next 2 weeks (a week and a half to be exact).
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
I'm not going to my meeting tonight. For a few reasons. Number one, the ick is here and my weight is just all crazy over the place with that in the works. Number two, the weather is icky. Number three, something has to give in my life right now...and for the next week or two, it's goign to be that 100% focus on my weight. No, I'm not giving up. I just can't be 100% focused on that and still be 100% focused on getting the other place ready for occupancy and 100% focused. Quite honestly, the stress of trying to keep it all together was just getting to be too much. SOOOOOO...my goal is to maintain throughout this time. Continue to count my points as well as possible...but just to maintain. Hopefully lose...but the goal is to maintain!
Monday, February 11, 2008
clueless!!!
Yes, I'm clueless as to where my weigh loss progress is this week. I did weigh in a few days ago and noticed that my weight was up abut 2 pounds. That brought me around a bit and I was able to get my eating a bit more under control. Probably not totally back in line...but at least a bit better. I'm hoping.
I'm wondering if my 'ick' cycle has not been what's causing me all this grief these past weeks. Last month the ick was short and sweet. We are talking REALLY light for like less than one day. This month it has hit with a vengeance. So I'm wondering if that has played a roll in my rough month? Ok, ok, ok...I'm grasping at straws! tee hee hee
I get off today at 3. I'm planning on doing some laundry this afternoon and then relaxing this evening. Todd is working so I'll have to be doign 'quiet' things around the house....so I'll probably work on some of my projects for the other place. I think an evening of rest and relaxation will be a good thing for me!
I'm wondering if my 'ick' cycle has not been what's causing me all this grief these past weeks. Last month the ick was short and sweet. We are talking REALLY light for like less than one day. This month it has hit with a vengeance. So I'm wondering if that has played a roll in my rough month? Ok, ok, ok...I'm grasping at straws! tee hee hee
I get off today at 3. I'm planning on doing some laundry this afternoon and then relaxing this evening. Todd is working so I'll have to be doign 'quiet' things around the house....so I'll probably work on some of my projects for the other place. I think an evening of rest and relaxation will be a good thing for me!
Thursday, February 07, 2008
the good, the bad and the ugly
What first...the good or the bad. Hmmm...I think I'll go with the bad first..and end on a good note.
I'm eating like a starving pig! What more can I say? I'm just eating and eating and eating! Not exercising and I have no desire to exercise! ARRGGHHH
The good news...and hopefully it will spark me to be 'good'. I was gettign ready for work, standing in the closet trying to figure out what to wear. Out of the corner of my eye I glimpsed my two 'goal dresses'. These are dresses that I found a few years ago for like a dollar a piece. One is a size 10, the other is a size 12. They are both denim (pity because I can't wear denim to my current job). Anyway, I saw them out of the corner of my eye. Just for a giggle I decided to put the 12 one...or should I say TRY to put the 12 on and see how close I am. OH MY WORD>>>>>>IT FIT! IT FITS! IT FITS! It is on the tighter side...but it fits! I can't believe it! Who would have ever guessed! I mean, I bought it....but I never really truly imagined that i'd actually ever fit into it! WOAH doggie! In fact, I think when I first bought them, my words (I think I journalled it...I'll have to go back and read and try to find it) were "I may never fit into these dresses...but they will serve as inspiration......cheaply".
Oh the other thing. A conversation with a friend sparked me to think about eating out and the booths that we are usually seated in. It made me think back a few years to when my husband and i would go out to eat. If we were sat in a booth, we wouldn't sit directly across from each other. We would sit more diagonally. This would allow us to push the table into a cock-eyed position....giving us each more room for our over-sized bodies! It's crazy because we no longer do that. In fact, I usually ahve WAY too much room in a booth!
I'm eating like a starving pig! What more can I say? I'm just eating and eating and eating! Not exercising and I have no desire to exercise! ARRGGHHH
The good news...and hopefully it will spark me to be 'good'. I was gettign ready for work, standing in the closet trying to figure out what to wear. Out of the corner of my eye I glimpsed my two 'goal dresses'. These are dresses that I found a few years ago for like a dollar a piece. One is a size 10, the other is a size 12. They are both denim (pity because I can't wear denim to my current job). Anyway, I saw them out of the corner of my eye. Just for a giggle I decided to put the 12 one...or should I say TRY to put the 12 on and see how close I am. OH MY WORD>>>>>>IT FIT! IT FITS! IT FITS! It is on the tighter side...but it fits! I can't believe it! Who would have ever guessed! I mean, I bought it....but I never really truly imagined that i'd actually ever fit into it! WOAH doggie! In fact, I think when I first bought them, my words (I think I journalled it...I'll have to go back and read and try to find it) were "I may never fit into these dresses...but they will serve as inspiration......cheaply".
Oh the other thing. A conversation with a friend sparked me to think about eating out and the booths that we are usually seated in. It made me think back a few years to when my husband and i would go out to eat. If we were sat in a booth, we wouldn't sit directly across from each other. We would sit more diagonally. This would allow us to push the table into a cock-eyed position....giving us each more room for our over-sized bodies! It's crazy because we no longer do that. In fact, I usually ahve WAY too much room in a booth!
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Things are still strange in weight loss land
The weight was still down this morning. In fact, it as down even further. I didn't eat all that great last night. I had the points available for the meal and TWO cornbread muffins. I ate 4 muffins. So go figure! Oh well....it's still down. However, I do know that I'm goign to have to start being religious again very soon! I wish and pray that I am able to continue to eat like this and no longer exercise (like this past week). However, I know that is just not going to be the case. :-) We'll see what my official weigh in is!
Worked over at the other place this morning. The library is almost ready for the books to move in! Woo hooo! In fact, it's so close that we set up the futon that was stored over there and we were sitting on it for a while this morning....in the room. Yes, we decided to keep the futon and use it in the library. For a couple reason. One, it will give us seating in the library. And two, we can use it as a bed when we have company.
Walked back to the old trash pit on our property that we just located. I can not wait to start digging it out!!!! What treasures I may find!!!!!
Worked over at the other place this morning. The library is almost ready for the books to move in! Woo hooo! In fact, it's so close that we set up the futon that was stored over there and we were sitting on it for a while this morning....in the room. Yes, we decided to keep the futon and use it in the library. For a couple reason. One, it will give us seating in the library. And two, we can use it as a bed when we have company.
Walked back to the old trash pit on our property that we just located. I can not wait to start digging it out!!!! What treasures I may find!!!!!
Monday, February 04, 2008
Woah doggie!
Ok, so I've been somewhat disgusted with the weight loss progress. I know that times like this are when people usually give up and quit. I've never seriously contemplated quitting. However, I do know that while my motivation was still going strong this past week, that my willpower had taken a hike. Ok....it just plain up and died on me! I exercised ONCE during this past week. I journalled next to nothing in my food intake journal. I ate what I wanted and when I wanted it. (for the most part). I had cake, cookies, ice cream, and goodies. I DID NOT eat all my fruits and vegetables. Multi-vitamin....haa! Nada! I was however still cognizant of how much I was eating...and I did somewhat calculate the points (in my head...rounded off). I didn't weigh myself ANY this past week. SOOO this morning it was with much fear and trepidation that I stepped onto the scale. I had contemplated not stepping on the scale...and simply going to my meeting, weighing in and finding out then what kind of damage I had done this week. Well, I almost started jumping up and down with joy when I saw that the scales showed me at 182.6! My last weigh in...was last Thursday and I was 184. (On my last weigh in day I was 185.....woo hooo...I'm DOWN!!!!!!!)
I had already made up my mind that with the new week looming, that I was going to start being religious again about watching what I'm eating and such. I think in my mind I figured that I kinda needed a little break away from that routine. SOOOO seeing that I actually LOST weight during my little 'break' I"m half way afraid to pick back up on the exercise and stuff. I will though,....it's good for me. :-)
I think it's about time for an update on the renovations at the other place. The library floor...... 3/5 of the way done! I'm pulling out my hair though. The flooring that I'm putting down is MUCH more difficult to work with in comparison to the others that I have. I was literally rolling around on the floor trying to get it to be a bit more malleable against that stupid imperfect floor! As I was rolling around my thoughts? Well, I was thinking that if I was still 300 pounds it would be working better than the 185 'new and improved' MaryFran. Probably one of the only times that I will ever find something really positive to say about my old weight! :-) OK...enough about the flooring. I also spent quite some bit of time scrubbing and scouring the stove and oven! I have put it into place in the kitchen. I'm going to take my oven thermometer over there one day soon and see how 'off' the oven temperature is. I'm hoping that it's pretty dead on! :-) I'm also going to test the burners to see how they are! I'm hopign that they are all in working order. My stove where we live currently has a burner that's out. And I never realized how much I actually use all of my burners when I'm cooking! For that matter, when we build, I'm splurging for one of those 6 burner stoves! Todd worked very hard yesterday. Although I couldn't resist ribbing him a bit. When we were at Lowes last week, I picked up some pvc prime and cement and had it in the cart. Todd was like, "no, I've got plenty at home" and promptly took it out of the cart and put it back on the shelf. Sooooooo of course yesterday when he sheepishly comes out of the bathroom where he was working to tell me that he didn't have any pvc pipe cement I just couldn't resist giving him a hard time! Of course he dind't have his wallet or keys with him. SOOOO I ended up having to drive to Charlestown to run into Home Depot to pick up some. The bathroom.....well, I have a tub installed! The drain line is hooked up! I actually sat and layed back in my tub for a bit while I was talking to Todd (woah...another time when I kinda wished i had more weight on me.......I was sitting in the tub to make sure it was down as far as it would go...and to make sure that it was not wobbly!). Todd was just shaking his head like I was a ninny...because I was laughing and pretending I was taking a bath. :-) So the tub base is in and ready to go. Then Todd put the toilet in! So now he has to hook up the faucets and the shower head and put the surround up on the walls! At that point, I think we may be ready to turn on the water!!! Won't that be exciting???????????
I had already made up my mind that with the new week looming, that I was going to start being religious again about watching what I'm eating and such. I think in my mind I figured that I kinda needed a little break away from that routine. SOOOO seeing that I actually LOST weight during my little 'break' I"m half way afraid to pick back up on the exercise and stuff. I will though,....it's good for me. :-)
I think it's about time for an update on the renovations at the other place. The library floor...... 3/5 of the way done! I'm pulling out my hair though. The flooring that I'm putting down is MUCH more difficult to work with in comparison to the others that I have. I was literally rolling around on the floor trying to get it to be a bit more malleable against that stupid imperfect floor! As I was rolling around my thoughts? Well, I was thinking that if I was still 300 pounds it would be working better than the 185 'new and improved' MaryFran. Probably one of the only times that I will ever find something really positive to say about my old weight! :-) OK...enough about the flooring. I also spent quite some bit of time scrubbing and scouring the stove and oven! I have put it into place in the kitchen. I'm going to take my oven thermometer over there one day soon and see how 'off' the oven temperature is. I'm hoping that it's pretty dead on! :-) I'm also going to test the burners to see how they are! I'm hopign that they are all in working order. My stove where we live currently has a burner that's out. And I never realized how much I actually use all of my burners when I'm cooking! For that matter, when we build, I'm splurging for one of those 6 burner stoves! Todd worked very hard yesterday. Although I couldn't resist ribbing him a bit. When we were at Lowes last week, I picked up some pvc prime and cement and had it in the cart. Todd was like, "no, I've got plenty at home" and promptly took it out of the cart and put it back on the shelf. Sooooooo of course yesterday when he sheepishly comes out of the bathroom where he was working to tell me that he didn't have any pvc pipe cement I just couldn't resist giving him a hard time! Of course he dind't have his wallet or keys with him. SOOOO I ended up having to drive to Charlestown to run into Home Depot to pick up some. The bathroom.....well, I have a tub installed! The drain line is hooked up! I actually sat and layed back in my tub for a bit while I was talking to Todd (woah...another time when I kinda wished i had more weight on me.......I was sitting in the tub to make sure it was down as far as it would go...and to make sure that it was not wobbly!). Todd was just shaking his head like I was a ninny...because I was laughing and pretending I was taking a bath. :-) So the tub base is in and ready to go. Then Todd put the toilet in! So now he has to hook up the faucets and the shower head and put the surround up on the walls! At that point, I think we may be ready to turn on the water!!! Won't that be exciting???????????
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Sore muscles as my poor excuse to not exercise
My muscles are sore from my workout on Thursday. I decided to push myself further than I normally do. So I kicked up the amount of weight that I lifted. And I'm feelign it in my muscles. Yesterday I didn't notice my stomach muscles..but I just stretched and wow, I really felt it! The gym has recently added a bunch of new 'ab' machines. Kinda cool. I tried one of them. I didn't think it did much good...but eii yii yiii...I guess it did. :-)
This morning, the alarm went off early. I got up and went to the bathroom. The problem...as I was walking I was feelign my sore muscles....so instead of gettign on my workout clothes...I crawled back into bed. NOT good. I can't even say that I slept that extra hour. NOOOOO, I just laid there awake. Why do I do these things?
My excuse...the sore muscles. I know that when i get off work at around noon, that I'm goign to rush home, eat a quick lunch and then head over to the other place to work. I'll probably be working for at least 6 hours tonight....so I didn't want to overdo it this morning. Yep...lazy ass excuse!
This morning, the alarm went off early. I got up and went to the bathroom. The problem...as I was walking I was feelign my sore muscles....so instead of gettign on my workout clothes...I crawled back into bed. NOT good. I can't even say that I slept that extra hour. NOOOOO, I just laid there awake. Why do I do these things?
My excuse...the sore muscles. I know that when i get off work at around noon, that I'm goign to rush home, eat a quick lunch and then head over to the other place to work. I'll probably be working for at least 6 hours tonight....so I didn't want to overdo it this morning. Yep...lazy ass excuse!
Friday, February 01, 2008
Happy February!
Well...my weight this morning was at 184. A bit up from yesterday..but not so much that I'm upset. In fact, I didn't eat all that good yesterday evening so I'm kinda glad that it wasn't up more than that .6 pounds! I went and had spagetti with mom and dad. Todd was suppossed to go with me for dinner but he ate something bad when he was at his Kiwanis meeting and apparently had a case of food poisioning...so I left the puke machine at home. After dinner I decorated a bunch of cakes for mom. It is fun to decorate...but it's been so long since I've done it That I wasn't overly happy with my job.....but it will suffice. Poor mom...she says that the pain hit her so bad last night that she was up all night...in tears.
I didn't exercise this morning. I woke up and I was so productive. I was paying bills, taking care of some issues that i've been pushing under the rug, doing some paperwork for the business. Super productive. BUT, buy the time that I was actually winding up, I looked at the clock and I had less than an hour to shower, dress for work, eat lunch, scrap my car (ice storm) and get to work. Sooo...there went my morning exercise. I know that I can vow that I will exercise tonight. And I'd really like to. HOWEVER, I know that our new XBox 360 came today.....so do you think I'm going to want to exercise or am i going to want to play games with my husband? Hmmmmm. We have been planning to get one early in the year 2008. Mainly because Grand Theft Auto is being released this spring. We got a bundle deal...and picked up something like 15 games with it. Ghost Recon 1 and 2, Halo 2 and 3, one of the Rainbow six games, a racing game, a few more 'shoot em up style games, some sports games (two football, one soccer, one golf, and a tennis). We got a really good deal! :-) Hmmm...what shall we play first. And let me say...if that putz that I married plays them without me this afternoon......ooooohhhhh I'll ...I'll..... Oh, I'll do nothing but razz him about it! So in all honest, I know that exercise is only a remote (very remote) possibility for me tonight.
Speaking of the XBox...when I gave in and agreed to getting the new xbox, I talked to todd about not using the xbox until we move...because it maymake it much more difficult for us to get over there and work if we know we have fun games to play. But, I guess i can try to think of it as a reward....work to do such and such and then go home and relax by playing a game. I guess for me it will be the hardest...because when I'm home I have stuff to do...I still have the rug to finish......the curtains for the bedroom to make...and that quilt to finish. So I won't be playing much. Oh well...... I'm an adult...I'm sure I'll be fine.
I didn't exercise this morning. I woke up and I was so productive. I was paying bills, taking care of some issues that i've been pushing under the rug, doing some paperwork for the business. Super productive. BUT, buy the time that I was actually winding up, I looked at the clock and I had less than an hour to shower, dress for work, eat lunch, scrap my car (ice storm) and get to work. Sooo...there went my morning exercise. I know that I can vow that I will exercise tonight. And I'd really like to. HOWEVER, I know that our new XBox 360 came today.....so do you think I'm going to want to exercise or am i going to want to play games with my husband? Hmmmmm. We have been planning to get one early in the year 2008. Mainly because Grand Theft Auto is being released this spring. We got a bundle deal...and picked up something like 15 games with it. Ghost Recon 1 and 2, Halo 2 and 3, one of the Rainbow six games, a racing game, a few more 'shoot em up style games, some sports games (two football, one soccer, one golf, and a tennis). We got a really good deal! :-) Hmmm...what shall we play first. And let me say...if that putz that I married plays them without me this afternoon......ooooohhhhh I'll ...I'll..... Oh, I'll do nothing but razz him about it! So in all honest, I know that exercise is only a remote (very remote) possibility for me tonight.
Speaking of the XBox...when I gave in and agreed to getting the new xbox, I talked to todd about not using the xbox until we move...because it maymake it much more difficult for us to get over there and work if we know we have fun games to play. But, I guess i can try to think of it as a reward....work to do such and such and then go home and relax by playing a game. I guess for me it will be the hardest...because when I'm home I have stuff to do...I still have the rug to finish......the curtains for the bedroom to make...and that quilt to finish. So I won't be playing much. Oh well...... I'm an adult...I'm sure I'll be fine.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
MADE IT TO THE GYM! WOOOOO HOOOO! I got a good workout in...and I'm very happy with what I did. I could tell a difference on one of the machines that I use to work out my arms that my right arm has gotten stronger. Could it be all that painting? tee hee hee
This morning todd and i woke up early. We had to take the van back to my parents. We decided to stop at lowes again on the way to the gym. We were so into picking out the tub, toilets and stuff yesterday at Lowes...that we forgot to get the tub kit...the one that has the knobs, the shower head and the faucet! Ooops! So we went in and picked that out. I have to say..the el cheapo ones looked just like that.....cheap. So we stayed away from the welfare sets and went with a mid range set. The shower head is like 5 inches in diameter....won't that feel soooo good?????? And I did help mom roll out her sugar cookie dough. I think we are moving up the cake decorating and dinner at mom and dad's to tonight. :-) No complaints from me...that's one less meal I have to make...or pay for! :-) Ok, I'm taking the salad! But, that's easy....becasue when i come home from the store, I chop and prepare everything...so it was a think of putting all the salad fixin' containers and bags into one big bag for me to grab after work.
My weight was down this morning to 183.4. So it's on it's way down again. Hopefully it stays down and continues to travel downward! :-) I'm going to try to get on the exercise bike for at least a 20 minute ride when we get home tonight. I'm going to try to shake myself loose from these darn pesky 180's anyway I have to....even if that means that i work out twice a day. tee hee hee. :-)
This morning todd and i woke up early. We had to take the van back to my parents. We decided to stop at lowes again on the way to the gym. We were so into picking out the tub, toilets and stuff yesterday at Lowes...that we forgot to get the tub kit...the one that has the knobs, the shower head and the faucet! Ooops! So we went in and picked that out. I have to say..the el cheapo ones looked just like that.....cheap. So we stayed away from the welfare sets and went with a mid range set. The shower head is like 5 inches in diameter....won't that feel soooo good?????? And I did help mom roll out her sugar cookie dough. I think we are moving up the cake decorating and dinner at mom and dad's to tonight. :-) No complaints from me...that's one less meal I have to make...or pay for! :-) Ok, I'm taking the salad! But, that's easy....becasue when i come home from the store, I chop and prepare everything...so it was a think of putting all the salad fixin' containers and bags into one big bag for me to grab after work.
My weight was down this morning to 183.4. So it's on it's way down again. Hopefully it stays down and continues to travel downward! :-) I'm going to try to get on the exercise bike for at least a 20 minute ride when we get home tonight. I'm going to try to shake myself loose from these darn pesky 180's anyway I have to....even if that means that i work out twice a day. tee hee hee. :-)
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Flowers, a weigh in, and general life
Not the greatest picture from this angle and with the clock in the back ground...but shows the size...especially when I say that I was standing about 10 feet back from it in order to get the whole arrangement in the picture!Well...the other day I was sitting in my managers office talking to her. Wewere talking about the changes that may come and I was taking care ofgetting some days off requested. Well, the other gals were just fiddlin'around and yelled out..."ohhh look, someone is getting flowers". They wereall speculating who it was. I didn't even bother to turn and look at theguy as he approached and entered....I mean, I wasn't getting flowers..therewould be no reason. But as the gals talked (it took him a while to get theflowers out of the van and come in) there were only four of us there. One'shusband is i the hospital...and another one's husband was incredibly ill (weare talking hugging the porcelin throne ALL day). So that only left two ofus. Still...why would I be getting flowers? Well....let me tell you. MY...yes MY flowers were all sorts of various colored roses. Todd chose toadd a balloon that said Love love love and he added a little teddy bear onthe vase. It is HUGE!!!!!! And gorgous. No reason for the flowers...justbecause. :-) What a nice treat!Well...we woke up early this morning...especially since it was a day off.(6AM). I exercised and made breakfast (egg and cheese sandwiches...todd'shad vegetarian sausage also) and then we headed up to town. We were at momand dad's by 8AM...to get the van. And we were at Lowes by 8:30. (The newLowes is nice..and the people/workers are so friendly). Lowes took usFOREEEEEEEEEVER!. We didn't get out of there until about 10:30. We had todecide what toilets to buy...what tub to buy...what surround to buy foraround the tub. You name it...we had to decide. And it was big bulkystuff. When we checked out...I was pushing a cart with all the little stuff(oh yes...I got my lights for my kitchen) and I was pulling a cart thathad our tub and the wall surround on it. Todd was pushing a cart that hadtwo toilets and a ton of trim (moulding and quarter round, etc). We musthave been a sight! We shoved it all in the van and we were homeward bound.We were at the trailer by probably 11:30/Noon. And we worked until about6PM. I know I got a lot done...but it was stuff that I don't actually 'see'the progress...but I know that it moved me further along. :-) My kitchensink is done! (todd did that...all the plumbing and installing the sink andfaucets). I put flooring down in the bedroom closet and the library closet.I laid the floor under where the refridge and stove go. (I did that eventhough we aren't ready for the whole floor simply becuase I"m tired ofhaving to walk around and deal with the stove and refridge that are sittingin the middle of the living room!) So my next step is to actually cleanthem really good.....scour those puppies down and then move them into place!My floor for the kitchen....well, it's going to be busy...it's a black andwhite checkerboard style....reminicent of the 50's....or of a diner...boththings that are near and dear to my heart......so I'll be ok with it! :-)I ran through my last can of paint. I have one more coat to do on ONE wallin the bedroom.......just a tad wee little area on the ceiling in the livingroom...and one wall in the kitchen (which I can do now that Todd finishedpatching it!). I'll pick up more paint tomorrow when I return the van to myparents!When we take the van back tomorrow, I'm goign to roll out some cookie doughfor mom. She sprained her rotator cuff....they are pretty sure it's asprain and not torn (thank goodness). She still has to go to therapy twicea week. She can barely move her arm...and she has orders for cookies...soI'm going to take the van back.....roll out her cookies and go to the gym.I don't have to work until 2PM so it will work. Then I think on Fridaynight after I get off work we are going up to have dinner with mom anddad.....and then I'm going to decorate her cakes for Saturday! :-)
NOw.....on to the weight stuff......I showed a gain of 2.4 pounds at the meeting last night. Frustrating! Julie told me that it happened to her at one point where she'd have spikes in her weight for no reason. PLUS...I realized that I've been within 3 pounds of this weight for 5 months.....starting month six. Woooooo Hooooo plateau!
Monday, January 28, 2008
What is it with Mondays?
What is it with Mondays you may be asking. WELL.....I got on the scale this morning, and low and behold my weight was up. Yesterday I was sitting at 182.6 Still up a bit from my lowest...but much better in comparison to last weeks weigh in. So when I saw that I was at 186 this morning I just wanted to scream! Wasn't it a week ago that I was writing about how my weight just jumped drastically!
Is it like a a friend just suggested...that since I'm getting smaller it's just more difficult to lose? Or is it just that I'm for some reason retaining water? I will say that I didn't go to the bathroom much yesterday...even though I was drinking quite a bit! I'm drinking up a storm today..and I'm going. So maybe that has something to do with it!!!!!! Who knows.... I certainly don't! ARRGGGHHHHH
No matter, I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing. Watching what I eat...staying within my points. Exercising my 6 days a week...and I need to be assured and happy with the fact that what I'm doing is making me healthy even if the scales are not showing a downward slide.
Meanwhile, I've been working a lot over at the other place. I'm making a good deal of progress. The painting is just about done. I've got the bathroom floors laid. Its really starting to come together.
Is it like a a friend just suggested...that since I'm getting smaller it's just more difficult to lose? Or is it just that I'm for some reason retaining water? I will say that I didn't go to the bathroom much yesterday...even though I was drinking quite a bit! I'm drinking up a storm today..and I'm going. So maybe that has something to do with it!!!!!! Who knows.... I certainly don't! ARRGGGHHHHH
No matter, I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing. Watching what I eat...staying within my points. Exercising my 6 days a week...and I need to be assured and happy with the fact that what I'm doing is making me healthy even if the scales are not showing a downward slide.
Meanwhile, I've been working a lot over at the other place. I'm making a good deal of progress. The painting is just about done. I've got the bathroom floors laid. Its really starting to come together.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
thoughts on maintaining my weight loss forever
My mom asked me a while back if I thought that this was somthing that I'd be able to do forever (eating and being op). I answered yes. Everyone says maintainance is harder. But I think only because they feel the need to let down their gaurd. That is why I'm getting in the habit of weighing each day....and I've set myself up with that 5 pound mark....and getting myself in that mindset. I think I've told you about my 5 pound thoughts. Basically, I know what my lowest weight ever is (179.8). I'm not happy if I gain any weight at all...but I'm ok as long as I stay within a 5 pound radius of that mark (yes....in December and just recently I've blown that mark...and notice how paniced I became). My reason for doing this. A few months back, I gained .8 pounds one week and I was like, "woah...that's not so bad" The following week I gained 1 pound. And once again I was like, One pound isn't that bad. The third week I gained about a pound and a half...and once again I was like, "in the grand scheme of things that's not bad." HOwever when I looked at where I was......yeah, each week individually wasn't bad...but collectively...eii yiii yiiii 3 pounds! So I decided to set up my 5 poond thing. Yeah, I can say 'it's not bad' for a few weeks...but when I see those scales show me 5 pounds higher than my lowest weight...then I need to go into panic mode. :-) So I"m trying to do anything I can to prepare myself for the long haul (the rest of my life!)
The scales are going down again! THANK GOODNESS! Sadly enough...all this hard work I'm doing this week is not really taking me lower...it's returning me to my previous lowest! SICK! BUT, that's the way this journey goes. :-)
The scales are going down again! THANK GOODNESS! Sadly enough...all this hard work I'm doing this week is not really taking me lower...it's returning me to my previous lowest! SICK! BUT, that's the way this journey goes. :-)
Thursday, January 24, 2008
The great weight debate
Yes, the great weight debate today is should I weigh in daily or not. Under normal circumstances I think it's a good thing to weigh in every day. However, I'm coming through a difficult stretch. I'm trying to turn around a little period of weight gain. So this morning as I lay in bed thinking about getting up, I debated. Should I weigh myself today and risk the disapointment of finding that I didn't lose anything or God forbid gained again. I knew that if i found that I had gained I would be absolutely devastated. If I thought yesterday was bad...today would have been ten times worse. BUT, I also am smart enough to know that if I didn't weigh in I'd be obsessing about it all day. I'd be wondering...and worrying over what the scales would be saying should I step on. SOOOOO it was with much fear and trepidation that I stepped on the scales. Yesterday morning I was up to 187.2 pounds. This morning I was down to 186.0 pounds. Not a total elimination of the weight that I've gained...but I do see progress in the right direction.
I got up this morning and did the Jillian Michaels Cardio Kickbox dvd. It was the first time that I did that one. It was pretty good. It wasn't too rough with the impact stuff....which is a GREAT thing. I dont' want high impact...but I want my heart rate up there. This one seemingly fits the bill! Woo HOOOO :-) Regardless..I'm very happy with myself for dragging myself out of bed and doing it!
I have a three day weekend this weekend (off Friday, Saturday and then the normal Monday). I'm planning on working over at the other place for some of that time. At least a few hours each day. Tomorrow I'll probably be over there longer than the other days...Todd will be with me (he doesn't work until the evening.) My plans......get the floor down in the bathrooms. Finish painting the bedroom and start the living room...and work on the walk in closet. If I can get that done, it will leave me just to finish the living room and the floor for the library. Todd and I will also need to do the floor for the kitchen. We need to decide what do do for the flooring in the bedroom and living room. Todd needs to finish the walls (tileboard) in the laundry room, set the toilets and put in the tub. And then he's down to working on the flooring stuff with me. Other than that...it's trim stuff and touch up stuff. WOO HOOOO!
I got up this morning and did the Jillian Michaels Cardio Kickbox dvd. It was the first time that I did that one. It was pretty good. It wasn't too rough with the impact stuff....which is a GREAT thing. I dont' want high impact...but I want my heart rate up there. This one seemingly fits the bill! Woo HOOOO :-) Regardless..I'm very happy with myself for dragging myself out of bed and doing it!
I have a three day weekend this weekend (off Friday, Saturday and then the normal Monday). I'm planning on working over at the other place for some of that time. At least a few hours each day. Tomorrow I'll probably be over there longer than the other days...Todd will be with me (he doesn't work until the evening.) My plans......get the floor down in the bathrooms. Finish painting the bedroom and start the living room...and work on the walk in closet. If I can get that done, it will leave me just to finish the living room and the floor for the library. Todd and I will also need to do the floor for the kitchen. We need to decide what do do for the flooring in the bedroom and living room. Todd needs to finish the walls (tileboard) in the laundry room, set the toilets and put in the tub. And then he's down to working on the flooring stuff with me. Other than that...it's trim stuff and touch up stuff. WOO HOOOO!
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Pity Party
Yes, I'm having a pity party for myself. I'm gaining weight. I've been so good the last few days...yet the scales continue to go up! This mornign, i was so sure that they woudl be down a bit..and to step on them and see that I was up another half pound. Well...no word other than devastating will suffice. Yes, I was totally devastated. Enough that I sat down beside my poor sleeping husband and had a good cry. I told him how tired I was of all this healthy eating stuff...and how I wanted to just eat any old thing I wanted. And how disgusted I was that I gained without being bad. My word...if I'm going to gain (5 pounds) I at least want to be able to say, "but it was sure worth it!" Todd, all bleary eyed and struggling to stay away did ask if I was willing to throw away all the hard work I've done to get to where I am by giving up. Honestly...no I'm not willing to give it up....but I won't lie and say that the temptation isn't there!
Todd and I, after I calmed down a bit, and once he wasn't struggling to keep his eyes open quite as much as he was when I first sat down on the bed, talked a little about our plans for when I get off work today. Tenatively we are goign to run to Frederick to put out some flyers for a studio event. We are goign to swing back to hagerstown and go to the gym.....and then home. Dinner will depend on the time. If no time...somewhere that I can get something relatively healthy to eat for dinner....but if there is time...then home to have Homemade sweet and sour chicken over rice.
Bless his pea-pickin heart...I had to call him to let him know that I would be working an extra hour today and getting home at 3 instead of 2. He did some light cleaning at the house for me. It's really not funny...but in a way it is cute to see what happens after I have a crying jag in front of my husband.
As for the tears.......I know I was exhausted yesterday. I didn't feel all that bad. I knew I was tired.....but I know it was a much deeper tiredness than I thought. I have double vision (I thought everyone saw two of everything for many years before some eye doctor figured it out). My brain automatically adjusts so that I'm not reaching for the 'wrong' thing. My brain just processes the two things and can figure out which is real....or where the 'real' thing is. The only time I really have a problem is when I'm really tired...then my brain just doesn't process it correctly or fast enough or something. So yesterday I was at work and noticed it first when i went to go under a long phone cord that was stretched across the room (someone was on the phone). I reached for the cord and I had grabbed for the wrong one......over and over. One other event that stood out was when I was trying to fill out my balance sheet...I struggled so hard trying to figure out which line was the proper one that I needed to write my information on. So the tears could have something to do with that I'm sure.
A friend mentioned to me that it's no wonder that I'm not losing. First of all, my exercise isn't happening as it should. Secondly, I'm working like a banshee on the other place...and that's probably causing all sorts of stress and worries. So my body is being thrown into a tail spin. I'm not sure, but I don't like it!
I did get up early this morning and ride the exercise bike. It doesn't give me a good workout...but at least it was something.
Todd and I, after I calmed down a bit, and once he wasn't struggling to keep his eyes open quite as much as he was when I first sat down on the bed, talked a little about our plans for when I get off work today. Tenatively we are goign to run to Frederick to put out some flyers for a studio event. We are goign to swing back to hagerstown and go to the gym.....and then home. Dinner will depend on the time. If no time...somewhere that I can get something relatively healthy to eat for dinner....but if there is time...then home to have Homemade sweet and sour chicken over rice.
Bless his pea-pickin heart...I had to call him to let him know that I would be working an extra hour today and getting home at 3 instead of 2. He did some light cleaning at the house for me. It's really not funny...but in a way it is cute to see what happens after I have a crying jag in front of my husband.
As for the tears.......I know I was exhausted yesterday. I didn't feel all that bad. I knew I was tired.....but I know it was a much deeper tiredness than I thought. I have double vision (I thought everyone saw two of everything for many years before some eye doctor figured it out). My brain automatically adjusts so that I'm not reaching for the 'wrong' thing. My brain just processes the two things and can figure out which is real....or where the 'real' thing is. The only time I really have a problem is when I'm really tired...then my brain just doesn't process it correctly or fast enough or something. So yesterday I was at work and noticed it first when i went to go under a long phone cord that was stretched across the room (someone was on the phone). I reached for the cord and I had grabbed for the wrong one......over and over. One other event that stood out was when I was trying to fill out my balance sheet...I struggled so hard trying to figure out which line was the proper one that I needed to write my information on. So the tears could have something to do with that I'm sure.
A friend mentioned to me that it's no wonder that I'm not losing. First of all, my exercise isn't happening as it should. Secondly, I'm working like a banshee on the other place...and that's probably causing all sorts of stress and worries. So my body is being thrown into a tail spin. I'm not sure, but I don't like it!
I did get up early this morning and ride the exercise bike. It doesn't give me a good workout...but at least it was something.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)