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Saturday, March 28, 2009

Goin' Solo

Well, as I wrote yesterday, I went solo. So the question this morning is how in the world did I do flying solo without that crutch?

Well....I got home from work at about 6:15. Todd was not to be home until later, so I was on my own for dinner. No problem. When this occurs I am tickled to have a pb&J or grilled cheese and tomato soup. I opted for the grilled cheese route. Not a problem. I make it as healthy as possible and besides that, I was ok on my food budgeting for the day to allow for that soup and sandwich. I've had a lot on my mind the last few days and yesterday evening it was just all there. I was thinking about 'things' while I made dinner. I went into auto pilot mode. Looking back I do remember wondering why I didn't get enough cheese out of the fridge, but no problem, I just went and got the extra that I needed. I plated my food and sat down to eat. Since I was alone I decided to be ultra impolite (to myself??) or whatever the reason was that my mom always spouted when i tried this......and I opened my book and read while I was eating. Not a problem (shhhh don't tell mom, but I do this a lot when I'm alone). I was finishing up when all of a sudden I realized what i had done. Oh my word.....on auto pilot, I didn't make one sandwich! I made the old MaryFran's portion of sandwiches....and still in auto-pilot (and reading to drown my thoughts) I ATE THEM ALL! They were tasty...I'll say that. (As a side note...and actually rather amusing, I was in doubt about what I did.....so I actually looked in the garbage can to count the cheese wrappers, to find out how much I really did eat.) My stomach has been telling me that I didn't eat correctly yesterday too! But that quick...I took my eyes and thought off of what I was doing and I slipped into the old ways.

Lets talk about the old ways. The old ways are not just a week or two in the past. They are not even a month or two in the past. The old ways are literally YEARS past! I have been living this healthier lifestyle for a couple years! And these old ways are still deeply buried???? YIKES! I've always known that this would be a lifelong quest....but I didn't realize the extent that this stuff is buried.

Sooooo....lesson learned. Although honestly, other than giving myself a mental slap every once in a while while I'm cooking and eating to keep myself focused I don't know how to prevent against something like last night happening. It happened before I even realized it.

7 comments:

  1. It's true, it's so easy to do what we used to do without thinking!! Ah well live and learn :)

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  2. I know what you mean. It's so day to day for me. One day I'll be totally "checked in" and the next day - POOF! I'm out.

    I think maybe we "need" these reality checks to keep us honest with ourselves.

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  3. I understand where you're coming from. Once in a while I have instances where I just pick up something and eat it even though I'm not hungry becuase doing that is an old habbit. I try not to get down on myself and just move on and do better next time. That's all we all can do.

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  4. Well, well, well flying solo. O.K. I can understand. I've been there and still there. You know I'm taking a break from WW and I don't miss the meeting yet. However, I am dependent on my blog buddies for inspiration and support. I remember year ago I got myself completely off sugar. Then at a business dinner, I found myself drinkin sweeten tea without even giving it a thought until about the third glass!!! Just be careful my friend.

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  5. I feel your pain!! :) I find it awfully easy to slip back into what has always been so comfortable. I'm trying to keep track of my intake in advance so that I won't slip quite as often. Most of the time it works just fine, but every once in a while, OOPS!! Keep at it, that's what I'm trying to do.

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  6. I had a comment and yet love what linda said.
    about needing the reality checks to keep ourselves ON PATH ON TRACK AND HONEST.

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  7. We all do that once in a while, biggest thing is that you realised it. When you don't see what your doing is when your old ways are creeping back. You can do this, focus.

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