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Thursday, May 30, 2019

Revealing the number: admitting my weight

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This past weekend I had a startling revelation. It was in regards to my weight loss and my efforts… OK maybe my lack of weight loss and my regain. I have been very open about admitting that I have gained weight. I am very honest about the struggles to lose weight. However, I have been very close lipped about exactly where I am at. Oh, I know exactly where I am at. I just haven’t wanted to say the words and numbers. This weekend I did and while doing it, I realized that it was an injustice to myself to keep it quiet. So here we are, the end of the month and it’s time for my goal review and time to set new goals for the next month. Is there a better time to have the grand reveal of my true ugly current weight?  Nope, I didn’t think so either!!!

So let’s start with the weight thing.  Jason and I were riding our bikes this past weekend and we started to talk about changes that we want to make in our life. Changes to make us better…healthy changes.  My big change is that I need to get this weight off my body. I am getting older, and this excess weight is going to come back to haunt me sooner or later.  We talked about how everything is harder for me because of these excess pounds I carry. (Running and biking in particular!)  Typical of how I have handled my weight lately, I skirted the subject of what my weight actually is....just alluding to the excess pounds.  I skirted it for a while..until he asked me flat out what I weigh.  (The question was born from his love for me and his desire for me to be healthy and happy.). I hesitated and actually said ‘you don’t want to know’.   But yes he did.  So I admitted it.  As of that morning my weight weight was 249 pounds.  Ouch!  That hurt to say!!!    We carried on and he didn’t wreck his bike in shock...which is what was halfway expecting!  Lol. He just said, “WE need to work on that so that you can live a long healthy life but mostly because I know it bothers YOU

How’s that for support?  Yup, he’s a keeper!   

After I admitted my weigh it became less of an albatross around my neck!  I’ve admitted it...so now I aim fix it!!!  I even admitted it to a coworker who was talking about her weight a day or two later...yes I’m free from the hiding!   So, don’t they say the first step in recovery is admitting you have a problem (forgive me for totally botching the twelve step program 13 step program!).   But yes, I feel relieved to actually have it out there.   So here I am.  I have admitted. Next step please!

It’s  hard to believe that May is almost over. That means it’s time to look back to May’s goals and see how I did… Here we go!

1. Track every bite of food!    I went rogue during the middle of the month and didn’t track a bite for about two weeks!  Boooo!
2.  Put money into my savings. Done...barely a success...I spent a fair amount of money this month!!!  The only way I’m having any success is because this is my month to have three paychecks!  
3.  Weigh less than I do now!  I don't care if it's a measly ounce...I want to weigh less!   As of right now, it is looking like it...barely though!!!   (Those darn pesky two weeks in the middle of the month!!!)
4.  Do something active (a walk suffices) at least 3 times a week.   I have admittedly struggled with this.  The second half of the month became more consistent due to my lunchtime walks.   But I’m aiming to get better in June!!
5. Keep my eating in check for at least 6 days a week. I  have no clue since I didn’t track most of the time!!
6.  Walk at least an average of 5 k steps a day...The first part of the month was sketchy. I only hit or exceeded my goal 6 times in the first 15 days.  However starting on May 16th I rocked the step count!  I only missed it twice and most days I was closer to 7k steps!  (As for the two below 5k days, we were on our bikes those days so does that count as a fail??). 

My goals for June are somewhat similar, with one or two small tweaks… 

1. Track every bite of food! 
2.  Put money into my savings. 
3.  Weigh less than I do now!  I don't care if it's a measly ounce...I want to weigh less!   As of the 31st of May that number is 247.2.
4.  Do something active (a walk suffices) at least 3 times a week and at least two runs a week.
5. Keep my eating in check for at least 6 days a week. 
7.   Walk at least  of 5 k steps a day at least five days a week..no more average for the month!!!
8.  Transparency with my weight...even if it goes up!!! (Not gonna.. thisis my month!!!)

So it’s in the open!   My weight is out there for the world to see.  My plans are laid for June!    No more hiding...no matter what!   Yeah, I've got this!!!

21 comments:

  1. Some great goals for June. I have to follow them as well.

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    1. You and I both need to get our shoulders/arms healthy again too!!!

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  2. Congrats for putting it out there - that is a great step. Way better than I've been doing as I don't think I weighed myself once this month :(

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    1. Step on those scales! Even if you don’t announce it to the world...you need to know!

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  3. Sometimes facing that number with a good friend or family member can make a big difference - I think you get more support without the judgement...they really do want you to be healthy. And I do too! Now that my herniated disc has stopped all of my workouts and running, I see more than ever that the time to do all the fun stuff you enjoy, like biking and hiking, is NOW. You never know if your body is going to fall apart suddenly, like mine has done. Go and do and have fun!

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    1. Yes, you are right! The support is the best assistance I could ever have!!!!

      We need some ‘glue’ to put you back together again!!! I know how much you are chomping at the bit to get moving!!!

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  4. Jason is a doll!! After being together for almost 30 years I still have not shared my weight with my husband. It's always been shame for me! I admire you... that is a huge step and I believe when you share those details it helps you heal and possibly even take better control! Have a great weekend and hopefully you get out for some biking and running!!

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    1. Yes he is!!! I am relieved that it is in the open and now that he knows how truly bad it is (he also knows that I have also in the past been up to 330 pounds) he really can understand what I face...

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  5. I love that he pressed the issue and wanted to know a specific weight, and I love his response when you told him. He seems like he cares about your health and your happiness but is also willing to push you a bit! That's great. Time to set my goals for June too...and actually accomplish them this time!

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    1. Set those goals!!’n. June is our month!!!!

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  6. I find that I feel better about myself if I list my weight loss by month rather than each week. It feels better to say minus 5.6 rather than .6 3. .8 1.2 It just makes me feel better (right May loss for me but not the weekly lol)

    I failed every May goal. LOL My F it attitude hit those and not my eats though so I will take it!

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    1. Wasn’t May a beast for goals? There must have been something in the air because for about half the month I also had The Who cares attitude! But tighten the reins and let’s make June awesomely successful!!!

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  7. Jason seems really sweet.

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    1. I definitely have a keeper in him! That guy is stuck with me!!!! :-)

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  8. Anonymous9:20 AM

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  9. I believe you can accomplish your goals.
    Have a wonderful summer

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    1. Thank you!!! You have a fabulous summer also!!!

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  10. I'm glad you are not allowing a number to get you down. The important thing is you know what you want to do. Downward and onward! :-)

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  11. You have a keeper there MaryFran.
    Working today you’ll get those numbers down.

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  12. You can do this am cheering you on

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  13. You're on the right track..... but why does the track have to be so long? LOL. This weight loss thing takes forever.

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