Teeter Totter

Life is like a seesaw sometimes.   A little up....a little down.  This week has been one of those instances.  In so many ways!      Highs and lows.  It can be debilittating when it's a low and totally enpowering when it's high.   I know as well as the next person that the only thing to do when that happens is to ride out the lows and build upon the success of the highs.  But it's so difficult and these things go hand in hand with each other.....a low in one aspect of life (weight loss) can lead to a plummet in a totally different arena of weight loss.  It's frustrating....but there is nothing to do other than suck it up and move on....accept that it will happen and just roll with it!

A high fromt his week......On Monday I had some toast for breakfast.  It tasted SOOOOOOO delicious.  I wanted some more.  I wanted another serving so incredibly badly.  I wanted to savor the flavors and textures some more.  I wanted to feed that amazing feeling.  (Dare I say the that I wanted to feel the 'high' of my addiction?)   I walked away though.  I walked away and told myself that 'food is to nourish my body and I had just given my body what it needed....it didn't need more toast because I wasn't really hungry, I just wanted the euphoria of eating something that tasted delicious at that moment.  I hit a high in my week.  I resisted.   I was empowered.  I was on top of the world. 

On Tuesday  I weighed myself for my typically sneak peak of my weekly weigh in.  It wasn't looking too bad.  Maybe not a loss but a close maintain, maybe a half pound up.   I knew that if I held on tight that I could squeek by on a maintain for the week.  I KNEW that a maintain....or even only a slight gain would be a huge gift because my eating was not where it needed to be and my level of exercise was lacking from the normal level.

 I was feeling grateful and totally balanced with my sneak peak weigh in.   No high and no low. 

Tuesday after work Jason and I hit up the movies.   Tuesdays is cheap day at our theater....$5 movie tickets and popcorn is $1.  Not bad.  (We made it even cheaper because for the last month or so we've saved our pocket change and I cashed it in the other day and we had enough to pay for our movie, popcorn and drinks....with some left over which we dumped back into the change container to save up for our next movie date!)   The movie was good.  (The Conjouring 2)  The popcorn was delicious.  The popcorn was SALTY!  (of course it was because I added salt and yummy cheese topping!).  Hey....I ate a salad for dinner to help accomodate the calories expended for the popcorn. See......a balancing act.....the popcorn was a low...but the salad swung me higher.  But don't forget that sodium!

On Wednesday morning I woke up and I kinda figured it would be bad.  I woke up thirsty. In case you didn't know...by the time you are actually thirsty you are already dehydrated....better start drinking up.  I weighed myself......my heart just about stopped and my teeter totter dropped me low!  I gained!  Not the half pound I expected...but 2.5 pounds!  I knew immediately that it was most likely the sodium.   I knew it, yet I was bottomed out at seeing the numbers!

And then the hunger hit........and it hit again.....and again.   I was already still low from the weigh in and it just built.....it built in the way of a Skinny Cow Heavenly  Crisp bar, a cup of Party Mix, some dark chocolate candy bars and a box of macaroni and cheese.  Yeah, I was over my calories!  And quite frankly, I was at a low point and  just didn't care!

There were a few higher points on Wednesday.  I did run a few miles.  (Go me!)   I also picked up on the water consumption a wee little bit, I got about 80 ounces in.  (Go me!)  I also got a hug and a kiss or two from Jason.  (Go me!)   Oh wait...that last one isn't weight loss related....my bad.  

This morning I woke up and weighed myself.....I dropped the two popcorn pounds...thank heavens.   So I swung high again.  I'm on track thus far with the eating....lets hope the high stays in place for a while!

The pendulum took an upswing.....Jason's knee seems to be mostly healed and we went for a walk the other day!

And back downward.....last night I was in bed and went to shift and had a sharp pain in my foot.  I felt it a few times throughout the night.....and while it didn't hurt the first few steps this morning...the pain has grown as I've moved around.   WHHHHYYYYYYYY

I'm just going to ride out this demonic playground device and know that it will even out sooner or later!!!