It is not secret that I have been struggling with this decision about the half marathon. It’s killing me. I don’t want to quit, but I struggle with going on. Admittedly, I have now this week not run once since my long run last Saturday. Yup…I’ve skipped two 5 mile runs and one 3 mile run. I feel a bit guilty about it for sure, I’ve had my reasons…even if they are just trumped up excuses that my mind has made up.
The decision isn’t made. I’m still waffling.
But here is a thought that I had this morning. Yeah, I had this thought while I was driving to Burger King to pick up breakfast on my way to work….don’t be a hater! I was thinking about this stupid marathon and its importance in my life of late. That is when I realized that this training and this half marathon and this running thing has hijacked my efforts to lose weight. Yeah, I’m still wanting to lose weight. And most certainly, running a gazillion miles each week can cause weight loss. However, it has actually been harder than I thought because running a gazillion (to me at least) miles each week means that I’m just really hungry! Running became my focus. Running hijacked my blog.
I’m not entirely sure that the blog being hijacked by running is a bad thing. Afterall, being healthy and weight loss and all that jazz goes hand in hand with running. But my focus definitely slipped away from weight loss sometime in the last few months.
Luckily, over the last month or two, I HAVE pretty consistently tracked my food intake. I track,even though may days I am not within my caloric budget range. Furthermore, my water consumption has been spotty at best though.
So here is where I’m at. The half marathon hasn’t been scrubbed yet. Time will tell. There is no reason to make a decision at this point. Everything is line up to do it and if I chose to not do it nothing will change other than that Saturday morning in Philly I will be doing something else versus running. (Crying maybe ha ha ha). I can keep running but my focus will be returning to weight loss and the WHOLE picture and not just one aspect of what I’m doing.
And as soon as I wipe the grease from my breakfast hash rounds off my lips, I’ll be working on keeping my calories in check!
Yeah they were tasty too!!!
It's a big decision, so don't beat yourself up about taking some time to decide! Oh PS....Love any kind of hashbrown :)
ReplyDeleteAs I was reading this, I was thinking to myself "Why does she have to decide for sure right now? Can't she defer it a little?"
ReplyDeleteAnyway, sometimes the right decision is not to decide and to just see what happens and how you feel. I think what is right for you will show itself eventually.
I was able to train for a 1/2 marathon last year only running long runs on the weekends. I got plantar fasciitis once I hit 9 miles, so it was hard to walk in the mornings once I increased my mileage, so I only did LRs for 2 1/2 months and completed my 1/2 just fine. But I also didn't lose weight. I can't lose weight while training for a 1/2, hence my reason for not training for one this fall. But you've come this far - I would get the bucket list checked off!
ReplyDeleteYes Yes Yes! Go YOU!
ReplyDeleteI think it's good you're giving yourself some time. You will just have to decide if you are hesitating because it's hard or because you really don't want to do it. I suspect you really don't want to do it, but only you know that for sure. I do know --- it's hard to work toward a goal when it isn't YOUR goal --- which it's not since your friend is the one who originally initiated the idea.Whatever you decide --- it's OKAY! ;-)
ReplyDeleteHi Mary Fran -
ReplyDeleteJust a suggestion and you can do with it as you please - but I have had luck with losing weight by using Alli. I'm down about forty pounds and Alli definitely helped along with switching to diet soda - which I thought I could never do but I did. Anyway - it is a big help and I really want to see you be successful as I know you have had a rough year and I want you to be happy and feel good about yourself. No one knows better than me how hard it is to lose weight.
do what you need to for you just don't quit out of fear (of failure or success!) BIG hugs!
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