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Sunday, May 11, 2014

Lost

I recommitted to this journey in my mind this last Monday.  I've been pretty spot on with my food.  I've tracked it all.  I've also managed to gain a pound...or two.  Seriously?  

What are my feelings about this? I'm torn.  I'm torn between a bunch of different feelings.

*****The first emotion that is tears.  I just want to cry.  How totally and utterly disheartening is this.  To really start watching closely.  To track and to manage and to watch and to gain?????  

****Next thing down the line in my thoughts is that I'm just lost.  I was planning my foods for the today and I didn't know what direction to turn.  Obviously what I was doing didn't work.  Do I change what I'm doing?  Do I tighten it further?  What in the world?   My word...I KNOW how to do this...I've done it. This is not a new journey.  Seriously!

****Giving up has NEVER crossed my mind.  It just made me sit here and say I WILL figure it out and I WILL lose!!!!!!  

So let me sit here and cry a bit..but I'll be up and at 'em shortly!